Twilosophy: Are Edward & Bella Broken?

Dear LTT,

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to any long-time LTT reader that Moon & I were never pro-Robsten. There are many reason for this including:

1. I think it’s kinda weird to “ship” celebrity couples (except for the one true love of McGosling RIP 2005-2007)

2. Reality isn’t that much fun to speculate about it. We enjoyed the “OF COURSE THEY ARE EFF BUDDIES” phase of 2008-2009 and then the “NAH ITS S PUBLICITY STUNT” of 2010. We’d throw in an occasional “No she’s a REAL Fake Lesbian” and “HE’S BANGING NIKKI REED” throughout 2008-2010 for good measure. And who couldn’t forget the “WOW THEY ARE THE MOST BORING COUPLE OF ALL TIME” that has existing since 2011. Speculation is much more interesting. Or straight up making crap up is the best (remember when Moon invited you into the ROBSTEN home?)

The reality is…. ROBSTEN is/was real and real people did REAL things and have REAL feelings about those things and none of that is really any of our business. What IS our business is pondering if Kristen has spent her days indoors turning all of Rob’s shirts into knotted t-shirts she refuses to give back or if Rob has gained 27 pounds after 2 weeks of binge drinking and eating through California’s supply of microwavable fried sandwich pockets.

Who made that our business? God, I think. I think that was on the 8th day of creation. Right after he created wine.

So back to not being pro-Robsten. My feelings about the BIG SCANDAL have been all over the map.

–SHOCK (this really happened?)
–LAUGHTER (cause you saw the fandom implode, right?)
–SADNESS (I mean, really, fandom? Did we just implode?)
–WONDER (“what does it MEAN” said in my best double rainbow voice)
–FIST PUMPING THAT WE’RE COOL FOR ONCE (Even WILL FERRELL cares! (and, of course I mean “cool” in major quotes))
–TIRED (can we move on yet?)
-IMPATIENCE (cuz Moon left for Africa TWO DAYS after this came out and there’s SO MUCH to talk about. I mean. I don’t want to discuss it at all. I’m cool, I’m cool…)
–LAUGHTER (did I mention that already?)
–SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT (cuz.. I mean)

But what I didn’t expect was what happened on Friday when, from my beach chair gazing at the ocean, I was browsing my Facebook feed and I saw this:

And I felt sad.
Or mad
Or just… different

Remember what I said about: I was never pro-Robsten. Seeing happy Bella & Edward did nothing for me on the Robsten front. But it did a lot for me on the Bella & Edward front. Yay! My fav fictional couple next to Mary & Matthew and Damon & Elena and Rose & Jack (okay they’re like 7th on the list) is happy & in love! She’s a vamp now so they an do it for real, a lot! They made a cute baby- life is good! Yay yay yay!

So why did I feel sad/mad/different when seeing their latest couples photo from their local Sears’ photography department?

Are Bella & Edward broken because (gulp) ROBSTEN is now broken?

Have all these years of speculation and distraction from the REAL heart & soul of LTT (Bella & Edward and, duh, Twilight (Hey- remember THE BOOKS!?) finally taken their toll? Can I no longer see Bella & Edward for who they are in real (fictional) life and have I reduced them to…gulp ROBSTEN?

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else feel weird? Did you see Edward & Bella before and now just see a human-turned vampire who left her perfect man for a married guy? And if Bella were to leave Edward for a married guy… who would it be? Someone from the Res? Mr. Molina? Mike Newton’s dad? Couldn’t resist the coupons he kept throwing at her for 20% off at Newton’s outfitters?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

What does it MEAN?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

No seriously.. am I weird? Alone in this one?

New Bella/Eddie pic from Twilight Examiner

93 Commented

Defending Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I want you to know that I still love you, even though we really haven’t seen much of each other lately.
The other day at work, I was surfing the net like you do when there is nothing to do. I saw a random headline about what to do now that Harry Potter is over and so I clicked it. The post suggested many other series one could look into to fill the HP void, with a list of “Pros” and “Cons” for each suggestion. Of course you were in there, but I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re only included because of all the success (ie money) the movies have had, and not because the writer thinks you are a legitimate story worth anyone’s time. Here’s why:

This is the part where Edward put Bella in a choke hold because talked to Mike Newton

Under the “Con” for Twilight: “the films portray a physically, emotionally abusive relationship in an overwhelmingly positive light. Also, the story involves a hulking teenage werewolf romantically bonding with a baby. Gross.” [I’ve bolded the part that inspired this letter.]

First of all, lol at the Jake/Renesmee reference – we won’t even go there. Then I was like, “Hold on, What?” I re-read to make sure I saw it correctly. Then I sat there going, “Physical abuse? What’s he talking about? Bella having to beg Edward for another go? Or wait, is this about the headboard?” It’s been nearly 3 years since my single reading of the books, so I even emailed TeamSeth to make sure that I wasn’t forgetting something. “Not unless you count the baby” she said.

This is the part where Edward bites Bella because she talked back

Ok, so Twilight, here’s the thing. Some people don’t like you. Some people even hate you. This is not new; we all know this. I can’t speak for anyone else, but personally, I don’t care if someone doesn’t like you. They can call you stupid, lame, childish, ridiculous, whatever. They are entitled to their opinions, even if they’ve never met you. We can’t control what other people think of us. I’m not going to argue with them or try to change their minds. I don’t feel like I need to stand up for your story; you can take care of yourself. But Twilight, this really kind of pissed me off. I mean, I can overlook the emotional abuse claim, because I think one could make a case for it and have a real discussion/debate on that subject. I’m not saying that Edward & Bella’s relationship is perfect or that it should be held up on a pedestal – this is a work of fiction after all. But to say that the story essentially glorifies a physically abusive relationship is not only completely false, but borderline slanderous; and ignorant…which I pointed out in the comments, in the most sane, tweedy, normal way possible. (I guess I was inspired by Moon’s Facebook comment.) Last I checked, I had 7 thumbs-down and no thumbs-up. I mean, I really can’t understand why someone would even say that. You’d think that a seemingly semi-professional blogger would take the time to make sure he actually knows what he’s talking about before callously making a rather serious (IMO) accusation about a popular story. I’m not even touching on what that would mean (if the allegations were true) about all the people, women especially, who love the story. I’m just trying to point out that it’s a false claim.

Twilight, I can’t promise that I’m always going to be around. Eventually, we will drift apart. It happens. But I can promise you that I will remember our time together fondly and will reminisce with others who also love you. And apparently, I will also be there to defend you, but only when you really need it.

I got your back,
Luludee

So what the hell WAS this guy talking about? Do you find yourself standing up for Twilight? Does Twilight really need us to defend it? Do people run away screaming when you do?

I still miss Moon, in case you were wondering:

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

53 Commented

Twilosophy: Is any guy ever an “Edward?” or are they all “Jacobs?”

Dear LTT-ers and Twilosophy majors,

For the last few years since we’ve started LTT and LTR and since reading the books, podcasting with the guys and whatnot I’ve had this thought roaming around my twi-addled brain but never felt ready to tackle it… then recently both Chris Weitz and Stephenie Meyer spoke about the very thing I had been wondering… are there really any “Edwards” out there or are they all actually “Jacobs?”

Recently, a Christ Weitz follower tweeted him asking if he was Team Jacob or Team Edward and this was his response:

This guy's a "jacob?" *swoon*

I am a Jacob. So that has to be my team, by default. Except really, honestly, I’m team Bella.
@chrisweitz
.

First I loved him more because he self identifies as a “Jacob” but it got me to thinking since most guys I know have said they’re a “Jacob” and most ladies say they married a “Jacob” IS ANYONE ever an Edward? Has any guy self identified as an “Edward?” And has anyone every really gotten their “Edward?” An “Edward” being the seemingly unattainable, hot, sorta-pretty-much perfect guy who you think would never give you the time of day.

Yup, definitely a Jacob

After being in this “world” for many years I would say that a majority of married Twilight lovers would say they married their “Jacob.” Many of our fellow bloggers and even Stephenie herself has said this. She mentioned that marrying Pancho was like marrying her Jacob.  Stephenie also had this to say about Rob and Taylor in her recent interview with USA Today…

On working with Pattinson and Lautner: “Rob is more like Jacob than Edward. He’s goofy, he’s funny, he doesn’t take much seriously. But he can turn Edward on like that (she snaps her fingers) when he needs to be Edward. Taylor’s who we hang out with most. He’s a lot like fun, happy Jacob.” – Stephenie Meyer in USA Today

Wait, this guys a Jacob??

It’s ok, Rob/Edward fans, you can peel yourself off the floor now and let’s come to terms with the fact that Rob is not and never was Edward. Not that UC and I ever thought that because we’ve pretty much pegged him as a super nerd from day one yet it keeps bringing up the question: If these guys are all “Jacobs” then are all men out there really Jacobs? Or can some of them beEdwards and then become Jacobs?

Furthermore (oh big transitional words!) if most guys end up being Jacobs than what does that say about the Twilight story and Bella and Edward’s relationship? Is it really the stuff of fantasy because there are no “Edwards” in real life? And if that’s true have we finally found the reason why Twilight is so popular, because it’s a fantasy in every sense of the word?

That's a whole lotta Jacobs right there

So do I have an Edward to look forward to or should I just stop ignoring the Jacobs of my life and realize that though he may not sparkle he’s pretty darn fabulous and he might also be able to fix that weird squeaky sound my cars been making.

Here’s to the Jacobs!
Themoonisdown

Thoughts? Who’s married/dated/engaged to their Jacob? Do you think any guy is every REALLY an Edward? Are all men Jacobs at the end of the day?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

140 Commented

Admitting you like Twilight.. on NATIONAL TV?

Dear Twilight,

We got an email from friend Shannon the other day & I got quite Twilosophical when thinking about what she wrote:

UC & Moon-

So I was reading the bios for the upcoming bachelor season. (I use to be an avid watcher but I’m sitting this season out) That said, the bios crack me up! I love their AWESOME literary suggestions as well *sarcasm.* I mean I love me some Twilight (thus why I read your blog every day and am emailing you this) but I would never claim that it is my favorite book. There are a few girls who take claim to it.

This is my most favorite one:

Please love her excellent spelling skills! *sarcasm*

Lisa M. is 100% completely RIGHT. Except about her spelling of Stephenie’s name. But admitting it? On National TV? (Let alone a TV show where you want to end up taking home a husband!?) Would I do that? Forgetting the fact that I did it on web TV and then also on regional TV and talked about it in a New Zealand Magazine, would I do it if I were on the Bachelor? Or, say, on a cooking show. Or say HGTV answers my cry for help to please please PLEASE decorate my sad-looking 750 sq. foot loft & asks me about the stack of Twilight “stuff” sitting in the corner by my desk. Would I fess up to my love? Or would I just try to pass it off like it’s a book I read “this one time” and never thought of again?

Olivia on Biggest Loser does it. (Or wait.. Maybe she hasn’t admitted it but we’ve just made enough noise (Plus there’s a Letters 2 Team Purple you have to be reading) that she can’t deny it!) In fact, LOTS of celebs & people in media admit their love. Jimmy Fallon FANBOYS over anything Twi! What’s my problem? Why do I think I wouldn’t go all-out and admit that I go crazy for this stuff!? I asked Moon & she wanted me to put it in context. Am I talking when she wins Barbara Walter’s Most Fascinating person of 2011? Or Being interviewed by the news cameras after the next drive-by shooting that happens when she’s hanging out in East LA? I told her to imagine she was being interviewed by her hero- Conan:

Well, I’d play it a lot differently of rob was next to me, but I’d admit to liking Twi. And I’d try to play it cool. (like, i would yello ZOMG jacob!!!I#W()#($ TEAM SPARKLEPEEN!!!!) But It’s Conan. He’s get it. If anyone would, HE would! I trust Coco!

So after MUCH Twilosophical thinking (like 7 minutes) I’ve decided this: If I had never started this blog, I would NOT have a problem admitting that I love Twilight SO much and cried multiple times, fell in love with Edward immediately & didn’t talk to my family for 5 days at the beach because of it. And that’s because I would just be a normal fan- who squees at pics of Eddy & Bella in Bed and doesn’t know that there are actual fans out there who have the phrase “I love to masturbate” written in their twitter profiles doing just THAT to the picture. But the thing is.. I do know about that. I do know things I wish I didn’t know about the fandom. I have seen the MAJOR GOOD but also the bad. and the ugly. And so sometimes it makes me ashamed.

But then again- such incredible things have happened to me as a result of this blog so…. watch what I’m about to do right here….I would admit it. And Proudly. But… with a sidenote- It wouldn’t be: “I’m just a girl who likes Twilight” but would be, “I love Twilight because it’s a great story AND it’s brought wonderful people into my life & given me great, fun opportunities I wouldn’t trade for the world- no, not even the crazy bad, ugly stories. But if you want to hear any, oh do I have SOME to share!” Aww.. cute! Then Jimmy Fallon & I would hi-five. Oprah would give me a house in the Caribbean & Paula Dean would make me cupcakes with 5 sicks of butter & 3 packs of bacon.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

So imagine YOU’RE on National TV. First off, what show are you on. And secondly, how are you gonna admit that you like Twilight? How DETAILED will you get!?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

82 Commented

Remind me I’m NOT alone!

Dear LTT- I’ve been missing you all. The latter half of 2010 was SO busy for me and Twi-news slowed down SO much that I’ve felt MIA. I’ve been here, and I’ve been reading your comments. But I’ve had little time to comment back. We’re SO far behind on email responding it’s not even funny. Literally there are great question suggestions for our interview with Stephenie Meyer back in JUNE sitting in our inbox that I never responding to. Fail. I’m adding a resolution to last week’s LTT resolutions that I’ll be more LTT and Twilight “present.” Then again one of my personal resolutions is to be more committed to my job. And to my marriage. And friends & sisters. That’s a lot of stuff. Do I have time to fit Rob in there? (That’s what she said). What about Big Daddy? Will a time come in my life where I have to choose between the two? RIGHT- as if you have any QUESTION about who I’d choose. The Olive Garden would be soooooo boring with Rob. Big Daddy all the way!

Anyway, I spent the last day of my wonderful holidays in NYC with my beautiful girl cousins. THREE of them are pregnant. There was a lot of baby talk, eating & pee breaks. But my wonderful day got me home very late and I have to get to work on time tomorrow. Something about a resolution I made last year about being “committed to my job.” Bleh. Bad idea. So I’ll blog again soon. I do truly miss you. But today Stella takes the reigns, leading us in a discussing that I think is worth having! Miss you all! XO -UC

Dear Twilight,

I had a girl’s night out last week for the first time in ages.  You know, one of those nights where you get Husband to put the kids to bed so you can meet up to pretend you are still 22 and ready to rage? Well I had one too many drinks (which these days is two) and the next thing you know I am spilling my Twilight guts out to the ladies!  No this wasn’t as if I were hanging out with any one of you girls from LTT /LTR, I was hanging out with Twilight virgins who had no idea what in the hell I was slurring about.  Needless to say, I didn’t win over any new fans of the saga and left the night feeling lonely and well… weird.

I am sure you are asking, what could I possibly have said to have turned a lovely night of girl talk into one of shame and misfortune?!  Well it wasn’t so much one thing that I said, it was that I just went on and on about the philosophy behind THE Twilight and I even waxed poetic about you lovely readers who I so felt one with and didn’t even know.  My audience sat there staring at me… crickets….

How can they NOT think this is funny!?

Why are these women, my so-called friends, so adamant about not reading Twilight….Why??  What are they afraid of??  Why do they bother putting themselves above it?  I mean REALLY!!  Why must they deny themselves the joy of the love triangle and blood lust?  I feel that I have given them a gift that they have ungratefully left unopened!  Those bitches!!
I am reaching out to you for support.  Please remind me how normal I am!  How were you introduced to Twilight?  Did anyone have to twist your arm to read it?  Do your friends make you feel crazy, juvenile, non-intellectual, weird…..Did you ever show up late to a preschool board meeting and exclaim (out of breath and rosy cheeked), “Sorry I am sooooooo late!  I just HAD to finish the end of Breaking Dawn!”?   (Yes, this is a true story and the director of the school was waiting for me to arrive so she could give her resignation—oh the horror!!)  Has your husband ever

Embrace it

accused you of being a horny teenager, but like not in a good way?   Do your kids yell things out like, “Look mom, there is your Edward!” when standing in line at Target?  Have you ever anonymously left a copy of Twilight at any one of your friend’s homes, in hopes they will read it and then obsess over it with you?

Please help me, and ……THANK YOU LTT/LTR ladies for loving Twilight like I do and going on and on about it day after day.  I love you for it and I love that when I find myself asking if I am normal you answer back, YES, a resounding YES!!!

Your (I hope) friend in solidarity,
Stella (and no that’s not my real name—oh the shame, that I must hide behind a pseudonym!)

Well, you’re getting a resounding YES from me, Stella! I BLOG about this stuff daily & it took me 2 years to get my sister to read the series (She loved it. I win!) and some friends still look at me like I’m crazy. You are not alone. We should write a song. And sing it around a campfire. At a Quileute tribal meeting.

Don’t forget- starting today the Resolutionary Challenge 2011 is kicking off on the forum! Make sure you join everyone if you’re looking for fun, encouragement & healthy living in 2011!!! Resolutionary Challenge 2011

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

51 Commented