THE wedding dress

Dear Bella Swan-Cullen (you are hyphening your name like a modern woman, right?),

BIG NEWS! Reelz Channel released the exclusive news that Caroline Herrera designed your wedding dress and there is much speculation that we’re going to be seeing a preview ANY day (Can I just throw it out there that I wouldn’t mind waiting until I’m IN the theater for the first time? Anyway, I digress…) Is there a point to discussing this? Your wedding dress? It’s not like it matters. It’s over & done with. It’s dry-cleaned and packed into a garment bag never to be worn again (until 50 years from now when you & Edward move somewhere new & decide to spice up your sexlife & roleplay your honeymoon again & get ALL into it by even recreating your wedding for your new friends who think it’s real) but apparently we’re going to experience the big “reveal” soon (knowing my luck it will be on the day (or hours before) I post this letter!)

But I haven’t talked about it much. Mostly because I’ve been preparing myself to be disappointed. But Bella, look, I’m already married. I already had my dream wedding dress (that’s the back! aw! I think I might take that bad boy out of the closet this weekend!) and so I have nothing to look forward to (except the sadness of not fitting into my dress) but YOURS (okay and my 2 unmarried sisters & friend getting married next week and scores of single friends but whatever) This is about YOU!

And I’ve been nervous. And mostly because well, your clothing has never thrilled me before. I mean this:

I get it. Washingington. Grunge. Hippie-Grunge Blah blah. But this isn’t 1992. Show off that cute little figure. Stop borrowing Charlie’s clothes

And you KNOW how we feel about the khaki skirt you wore to meet the Cullens for the first time (I tried to find a photoshopped image, I really did. But apparently the fandom (and by the fandom, I mean WE) hasn’t made one yet!)

So I’ve been nervous. REALLY nervous. I mean, the fan manips don’t give me much hope. There’s this one with the beautiful green backdrop:

And I know Stephenie wants you in something timeless & old fashioned, but I sure hope it’s less “little bo peep gets married” than this picture:

THIS dress has some potential! (Can you tell I like lace?)

And without picking up Breaking Dawn again because honestly I don’t know what happened to my copy and I’m kinda bummed about it because it was signed by Stephenie- Eek- I think Bella’s dress will have sleeves. I’m not anti-sleeves. Kate Middleton brought back sleeves. So I’m praying it resembles This

and less this

The cartoon version from the The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide has potential. I mean, if you can look past the goth look. I LOVE the veil- I do wish the sleeves were a little more open though

You know what I realized while “researching” for this letter? There are FAR too few photo manips of Kristen Stewart in a wedding dress! Come on people!!! you had time to Photoshop THIS but couldn’t give me Kristen in a Badgley Mischka?

Without wasting an entire afternoon looking at wedding dresses (just approximately 1.5 hours), I’ve  decided this is my favorite:

Add sleeves, a gorgeous veil and you have MY PERFECT Bella dress. Now I’ll wait patiently to see what Caroline Hererra did!

Waiting for my invitation,

What do you think? Are you nervous? Do you think we’ll be WOWed!? Do you wish we had to wait until we were sitting in the theater?

DVD Give-away

Holllaaa: We’re giving away a copy of the Catherine Hardwicke-directed, hot boys love triangle, Amanda Seyfried starring Red Riding Hood DVD/Blue-Ray Combo Pack to a random winner to celebrate the release to DVD/Blue-Ray yesterday! To enter just visit: and make sure you leave a comment on this post from now until Friday. We’ll pick a random winner (Unfortunately it’s for the US only. I know, we’re the worst!)

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Influencing Stephenie: Bella’s Wedding Dress

Dear Stephenie Meyer

Last night I got home from being away for over a week. I spent a lot of time in the hospital and funeral home and cars so you can imagine what I was there for and how out of the loop I am. I didn’t know exactly how out of the loop until I was talking to my roomie last night and she asked me if I heard about you, Stephenie Meyer and THE wedding dress. And I was like WHHHAAAAATT?? Clearly, I really was out of the Twilight loop because I had NO clue what she was talking about and that hasn’t happened since like 2008. So she filled me in and told me that you would be the one choosing the wedding dress Bella would wear in the movie. And I thought well, duh… you should be, I mean this is your story and your Bella and you’re a producer after all.

That got me thinking though, what will this dress look like? From the description in Breaking Dawn it seems like some sort of ruffled, high neck, Victorian affair and not so modern. BUUUTTT with this being the movie I don’t see some Laura Ingles Wilder style dress translating well on the screen so I was hoping we could come up with a few options AND that also got us to thinking that if you occasionally, at your own admission, stop by this fair blog we thought we might be able to throw in a few ideas here and there.

Of course this got us scheming thinking (it was a lot of thinking) even more that since you’re a producer and can throw in ideas why not play with their minds a bit and see who’s REALLY committed to your vision and characterizations in Twilight. We all know Bella is kinda dowdy and not very flashy and Edward is a conservative guy so they probably wouldn’t be down for dresses like this…

This number is totally reusable on the Isle Esme honeymoon! After all the Krisbians do love Kristens legs and this is perfect showcase for them. Totally Bella! Nothing says Bella Swan getting married like a white satin romper!

Tell everyone that Bella and Edward are a couple that are being featured on MTV’s teen mom and because Edward is such a stand up, traditional guy he wants to marry Bella before Renesemee pops out so this will be the dress she wears before they are forced into a life of mediocrity, drama and being on the same channel as those sluts from Jersey.

Ok, so maybe Bella and Edward believe that sex can wait till marriage so what about trying to convince Kristen that Bella would really wear this cause she’s a woman of the world, she’s from Phoenix.

Seriously, Stephenie please please please start pranking the cast by suggesting stuff like these slutty wedding dresses or maybe tell Rob you were a huge fan of the extensions Cathi Hardi had Edward in before they settled on the bouffant hairdo. Then see if the cast tries to stick up to you and defend their characters. If Kristen doesn’t insist on a floor length khaki wedding dress with a train and royal blue (something blue!) top than you need to regulate!

But in all seriousness if Bella’s dress doesn’t turn out something like InStyle’s Twilight wedding dresses, forinstance this Monique Lhullier dress than we’re over!

Ok… ok we won’t be over but ya know… just don’t do the satin romper.

So what other topics should we start “influencing” Stephenie on? What’s your idea for Bella’s wedding dress?

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