Letters to Twilight

Things that happen to me that make me think Twilight may be too big a part of my life

Posted by unintendedchoice on June 18th, 2009

Dear Twilight,

It’s 12:18 am. I did approximately 4.5 hours of work today at my job although I was there for 8 hours and 15 minutes. The rest of the time I responded to blog emails, approved comments, responded to comments, lurked on the forum, played around on twitter, read through my google reader, sent a few emails to my pals: The Bitchin’ Bloggers, chatted with Moon on gchat about how Rob is clearly going to have a sexless summer- it was just another day at the office. I grabbed a quick bite to eat at my grandparent’s house where I kept my cell on vibrate. When I got out to my car I had a missed call and 2 texts from Moon. Plus a bajillion twitter updates. I called Moon immediately & from the moment she said hello until this very moment at 12:24 am, I have not stopped working on my “blog about vampires.” Just a normal Wednesday, or maybe today should go on the:

List of things that happen to me that make me think Twilight may be too big a part of my life:

I got 6 birthday cards this year and 4 of them had Robert Pattinson’s face on them

My cousin, who is reading the books for the first time (yep- there are still virgins out there), texts me after she finishes every major section of a book and I call her immediately, making her rehash every feeling and emotion she is going through at that very moment, just so I can live vicariously through her first time. I miss my Twi-virginity so much

Someone gave me a book about Rob Pattinson and encouraged me “not to read it all in one sitting” (little do they know I read the entire thing in 30 minutes the day it was released at Barnes & Noble)

When I got my friendly monthly visitor in my white pajama pants, while going commando, instead of freaking out & looking around for the closest Tide detergent stick, I thought, “What was Stephanie Meyer’s answer for what Edward does when Bella gets her period again?”

I can’t even get my husband to respond to my e-mail, yet Ted C. from E!Online has written me 3 times in the last 2 days.

I write a blog about vampires that, for some reason, more people than I knew existed in the world read every day. Yesterday I only had 21 views on my personal blog.

When discussing plans for a Twilight DVD ‘girls-night-in’ night over e-mail with some real life friends, one of the RL friend’s coworkers walks into her cube. She invites her to join us for the movie and she says, “Wait, UnintendedChoice is going to be there?” Someone actually called me UnintendedChoice. In my real life.

My grandmother cuts out articles from the newspaper about Twilight and mails them to me

People I haven’t talked to for years who should have no idea that I run this blog write on my Facebook wall, “I just wanted to let you know I started Twilight and I love it!” (Do they think I wrote it!?)
secret msg about buttcrack santa
I cropped a fannypack onto a man I never met (OH wait, that was Moon.. check it here)
secret msg about buttcrack santa
If I haven’t seen a friend in a week or two, the first question out of their mouth is not, “How have you been,” but it’s, “How is living in the Twilight world?”
secret msg about buttcrack santa
One of my best friends e-mailed me the other day and said “I feel like you have two lives. Real life UC & virtual life UC. I miss real life UC”
secret msg about buttcrack santa
When I get a company e-mail reminding me the IT guy is coming around to everyone’s office & doing geeky crap to our computers & I go to clear my history, I notice that it’s full of phrases like:

“Rob Pattinson Bite Baby” and “Rob Pattinson lobster”

Because of that same IT guy I deleted my temporary files & download folder yesterday. It took 12 minutes. As I saw the file names zip past my eyes as they flew into the recycle bin, I realized not one was work-related.

I accidentally start everything, from emails, to facebook wall posts, to work coorespondance, to post-it notes with “To do’s” for my husband, to blogs on my personal blog, to my rent checks, with Dear ___________ and sign it Love, UnintendedChoice. I, alone, am keeping the “white out” product on the market.