What do you MEAN “Jorts” isn’t an acceptable term??

Dear NPR,

Usually I agree with everything you say & do. Especially when it comes to making Steve Inskeep belly laugh at 7:45 in the morning.* But THIS:

“The Associated Press Stylebook is the media’s go-to guide for things like grammar and punctuation, and it’s often revised to keep up with vernacular. Its 2012 edition includes a chapter on fashion, and in a Twitter chat this week the AP declared “jeggings” an OK word for the trendy hybrid of leggings and jeans. It added that “jorts” is not an OK term for jean shorts.“

from this story is just WRONG.

What do you MEAN “JORTS” isn’t an okay term?

Try telling that to the makers of this terrible Jorts-Twilight parody:

Try telling that to the Wolfpack:

Try telling that to Wyck & Stephenie Meyer:

Try telling that to this creepy hand-drawn picture of Jacob & Renesmee:

he BETTER be wearing jorts here

 Try telling that to the man who owns a thermos with this saying printed on it:

 or any of these Jorts Products on Cafe Press

And are you saying that guy who got this Jorts tattoo made a MISTAKE?

NPR: Take it back please. Send me Ryan Gosling covered in Hey Girl NPR sayings please as a token of your sorrow, and I might be able to begin to forgive you.

Yours always, especially when I’m in my jorts,

UnintendedChoice

I miss talking about Jorts. Clearly. Thanks James for sending in this story!!

*If you laugh at Steve Inskeep early in the morning like me, let’s be BFFs, please.

19 Commented

Eight things to do while we wait for Breaking Dawn to be out in theaters

Why did I not think of this?

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Last week to celebrate the 71 lone days left before Breaking Dawn is released, the Village Voice (yes, the Village Voice) wrote a piece called “71 Things to do While you Wait for Breaking Dawn to finally be out in Theaters”

That’s right. They had 71 ideas. I read about 10 of them before I got bored (no offense, it’s just that… well, 71 is a lot of ideas.) But I particularly loved the image the included (left) and #53:

53. Consider how the title of Breaking Dawn includes all of the letters for “Edward.” Get chills.

Dude..

But I thought it was a good idea. So now there are 66 days until Breaking Dawn Appears, and that is basically TEN weeks until it’s Breaking Dawn week. So here are my 8 ideas of what you can do while you wait for Breaking Dawn to FINALLY be out in theaters, because coming up with 10 was too hard:

Hellooo Joe Anderson, aka Alistair (who...?)

1. Re-watch Twilight and be reminded that no one will ever be as loved as much as Buttcrack Santa

2. Learn who the heck the new vampires are and which are the cutest so you’re prepared for the crush you’ll inevitably develop on one of them (wait…. are we going to see new vamps in Part 1?)

3. Listen to the Twilight soundtrack while at work and TRY NOT to get all gooey inside during Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” (aka the “Prom song.”) And I DARE YOU not to sing along to Paramore’s “Decode” or think about Rob making fun of how Hayley sings “Here”

4. Re-read your favorite fan fic version of Isle Esme & remind yourself that the movie won’t be like that because we don’t WANT Breaking Dawn Porn (Here is one Isle Esme fic I found after searching through the 334 messages that include the phrase “Isle Esme” in my gmail inbox (seriously))

One of the many things Action Figure Edwad has done over the years with Moon & Myself (um THAT sentence could be taken the wrong way...)

5. Start throwing LTT jokes into every day conversation with random people to see if anyone “gets” it. “Look at that guy’s jorts. He could be a member of the wolfpack,” or “Hold me back, Chris Hansen” when you see a cute, younger guy (but, uh, not young enough that Chris Hansen should actually hold you back.)

6. Plan your voyage to “Mecca” (aka LA around November 18-22. You ARE coming right? I’ll be there with Moon! Get excited for something fun for LTT readers. Hopefully it involves Paramore Karoke)

7. Dust off Action-Figure Edward and have an adventure with him. Did you get a new job in the last 2 years? I’m pretty sure Edward needs to visit your office & be “accidentally” left in the kitchen so you can see how long it is until someone comments about him.

8. Re-watch some of our famous LTT videos & be reminded about how much fun we’ve had over the years:

and my personal favorite:

Is it November yet!?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

10 weeks!!! Can you believe it? What else can we do to fill our time & prepare our hearts & minds for November’s craziness!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

46 Commented

News Dump: Video Explosion, a boyband & our favorite DILF is back!

Dear LTT-ers,

Since things have finally heated up on the Twilight front aka they went back to Vancouver where the own cameras there’s been a deluge of pictures and info and whatnot that we’re just trying to keep up on! Just trying to stay afloat with all of Rob’s nonsense has made this a full time job of alligator wrangling and pondering the deeper meaning of his Vanity Fair interview. Is he joking? Is he sad? What kind of dog IS Martin? There is A LOT going on in Rob world but it’s time to tackle the other folks so let’s take a look at what’s going on in Twiland (kinda like Disneyland minus the churros and general happiness).

Ain’t no lie baby…
The Wolfpack has been longing for the late 90s and the days of boybands like NSYNC, BackStreet Boys and whoever else lived in Florida at that time and met a fat man named Lou. They decided in their spare time to work on their harmonies and found out they were so amazing they formed their very own boyband called 108 Degrees!
That’s the boys on their way to record their soon-to-be hit singles “Bite Bite Bite” and “Imprinting On Your Heart.” Oh, and that’s their manager… Gil “Lou” Birmingham. Looks like Vancouver is the new Orlando.
.

Then I watched the trailer for Kellan’s new film: Love, Wedding, Marriage

Dude forget Robsten on the bearskin rug give me Kellan on Mandy Moore or give me death. DAYUM. That thing should come with a warning label. Dang. When does this come out?
.

What a sport this guy is…

Accepting his Razzie awards for both Last Airbender AND his portrayal of Jasper. But does it seem to anyone else the mini stroke has affected his mouth again with the marble mouth/southern sorta accent/side talking thing? Also I’m totally crossing my fingers for Nikki Reed to direct a 100 Monkey’s music video. Just ponder the possibilities of that for a few minutes this Friday…
.

And the last bit of news that deserves to be talked about but DEFINITELY not the least is… CHRIS WEITZ has joined twitter!

HeckYea I’m following!

I know, take a moment……………… yes, it’s true our favorite director from the Twilight saga has come back to us with a vengeance tweeting about everything, being in Argentina, his CUTE CUTE CUTE kid, answering questions and even responding to our own forum mod JodieO and and78 (those bitches!). Ok, clearly I’m jealous because he hasn’t responded to me and I even foresake ROBERT PATTINSON and his weird alligator magazine cover to tweet Chris instead. BUT WHATEVER I forgive him when he says he’s more like a Mike Welch or Gran and then tweets weird ass pictures of cats. And the mustard pants who could EVER EVER EVER forget the mustard pants? They will go down in Twiforklore and maybe have their own special wing of the Twilight Hall of Fame someday.
.

So enough of my slobbering all over Chris Weitz how about we beg the wolfpack to sing some New Kids on the block for us?

TGIF!
Themoonisdown

Be honest did you tweet naughty things to Chris Weitz (i did!!!)? Are Jackson’s multiple voice personalities started to worry you? Will you catch 108 Degrees when they tour? Does anyone other than me know who Lou Pearlman is?!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

64 Commented

News Dump, All the Twilight news fit to print: Breaking Dawn and it’s newbies

Just one of the 9823489234 photoshoots this girls been in. Clearly, Alice chose this tophat

Dear LTT-ers

Remember when we started talking about the newbies and the cat and the Ice Truck Killer who were cast in Breaking Dawn? Well, there’s like a butt ton more and we can’t even be bothered with learning them all until they’re seen out with one of the holy trinity at a 100 Monkeys concert and they’re caught in a lurid embrace with a LOD fan club member. BUUTTT there’s a lot of news out about them right now so it’s time for a round of a News Dumo, where we round up all the news they’re in and bring it to you here in one place… with our LTT spin of course!

• Who hired an escape convict to play a wolfpack member? Hide yo children.

• Is this dude hot? I can’t figure it out… yes…. no???? yes??? Maybe in that boy in your 10th grade homeroom kind of way? Also wtf does Peter do? Man, I need to brush up on my Breaking Dawn trivia.

• Remember when Rob had a mullet in that made for TV movie “Ring of Nibelungs?” Why do I get the feeling she was an extra?

• The fact that this photo was taken like minutes from my house makes me want to punch someone. Thanks for the warning David Slade.

• Rob and Kristen are gonna have fake sex in Brazil. Start planning your South American vacations now, Robsteners!!! (if you just added Brazil to your travel website alerts after reading this, you’re on “The List”)

• Ok, he’s not a newbie but we can always use some Robert Pattinson, with a director talking about some school holiday we don’t understand, in our lives

So which of these newbies should we care about enough to start following? Which Vamp witnesses have a big part in the story? And should we start rereading Breaking Dawn together?

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

99 Commented

So I’m a superfan…

Dear LTTers,

I mentioned yesterday that I’m going to be 2nd-hand embarrassing you all today (Saturday) in Philadelphia for the MovieFone Twilight Night featuring Jackson Rathbone & some wolf (his name is Bronson- is he the one that says “Burn?”) I can’t really talk about what I DO know (which isn’t much) but I am allowed to tell you this, which I promise will be the most embarassing thing you’ll ever hear me say:

I am the Twilight SUPERFAN

of the Philly event.

Ever since I heard about it I’ve been having nightmares about what MIGHT happen. I mean, are they going to CALL me a “SUPERFAN” in PUBLIC? Do I have to yell out which Team I’m on immediately after they say I am the biggest fan of all time? What if I accidentally say “TEAM BIG DADDY?” Since I really have no idea what this event is gonna be like, I came up with some potential things I could see moviefone, in conjunction with Summit, wanting their SUPERFAN to perform:

• Participate in a Face off with a 12 year old- WHO IS THE BIGGEST FAN where I want to win, because of COURSE I’m a bigger fan than she is, but also don’t want to because the prize is a Jacob Black doll. And they want the winner to make out with it.

• SUPERFAN Twilight Trivia- What if I know all the answers? Should I pretend I’m stumped by a few so I don’t look like a major dork?

• What if they force a Burger King crown on my head? Will I ever live that down while my friends look on? And more importantly, will Big Daddy even want to meet me after he hears I  supported the BK?

• What if there’s a tshirt making contest.  Once they see me hold a puffy paint stick, I know they’ll quickly give the artsy part to a 15 year old, but what if I have to MODEL all the entries? Walk down a stage, strutting my SUPERFAN self while I wear a white Hanes T that says “TEAM PATTESTON?”

• What if they make me prank call Rob Pattinson, asking him what his “farts” are on the movie Eclipse

• What if I have to talk to Jackson & he asks me what my favorite 100 Monkey’s song is ?

• Will they bring this girl on stage assuming we’d be bff’s? And present her as a gift? Can I laugh?

She's a SUPERFAN- like me

• What if I have to sing a 100 Monkeys song without crying?

• Will I have to say 5  facts about Bronson Pelletier or else they throw a sippie cup full of blood on me?

• What if they pull 3 dark-skinned guys on stage and make me pick out which one Bronson is?

Don’t worry- I won’t be sporting a SINGLE Twilight accessory or piece of Twilight clothing- well, I will have my Forks, WA rape whistle that @brookelockart gave me as a moving gift last week since I moved near the ghetto. And the ONLY way that’s coming out of my purse is if I get so nervous before hand that I run to the closest bar (like 12 feet from the event) and down a couple shots. Then we might hear my whistle blowing while I yell, “I’M YOUR SUPERFAN BITCHES” and flash all the poor 13 year olds, just there to find out who the hell Bronson Pelletier is and what he has to do with Twilight.

Make sure you follow us on Twitter as I’ll try to tweet from the Wolf, Vampire, SUPERFAN limbo line, or something

Doing my best to not 2nd-hand embarrass anyone,
UnintendedChoice

After the jump, our LTT_LTR store SUMMER COLLECTION is here! Continue…

56 Commented