Eight things to do while we wait for Breaking Dawn to be out in theaters

Why did I not think of this?

Dear Breaking Dawn,

Last week to celebrate the 71 lone days left before Breaking Dawn is released, the Village Voice (yes, the Village Voice) wrote a piece called “71 Things to do While you Wait for Breaking Dawn to finally be out in Theaters”

That’s right. They had 71 ideas. I read about 10 of them before I got bored (no offense, it’s just that… well, 71 is a lot of ideas.) But I particularly loved the image the included (left) and #53:

53. Consider how the title of Breaking Dawn includes all of the letters for “Edward.” Get chills.


But I thought it was a good idea. So now there are 66 days until Breaking Dawn Appears, and that is basically TEN weeks until it’s Breaking Dawn week. So here are my 8 ideas of what you can do while you wait for Breaking Dawn to FINALLY be out in theaters, because coming up with 10 was too hard:

Hellooo Joe Anderson, aka Alistair (who...?)

1. Re-watch Twilight and be reminded that no one will ever be as loved as much as Buttcrack Santa

2. Learn who the heck the new vampires are and which are the cutest so you’re prepared for the crush you’ll inevitably develop on one of them (wait…. are we going to see new vamps in Part 1?)

3. Listen to the Twilight soundtrack while at work and TRY NOT to get all gooey inside during Iron & Wine’s “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” (aka the “Prom song.”) And I DARE YOU not to sing along to Paramore’s “Decode” or think about Rob making fun of how Hayley sings “Here”

4. Re-read your favorite fan fic version of Isle Esme & remind yourself that the movie won’t be like that because we don’t WANT Breaking Dawn Porn (Here is one Isle Esme fic I found after searching through the 334 messages that include the phrase “Isle Esme” in my gmail inbox (seriously))

One of the many things Action Figure Edwad has done over the years with Moon & Myself (um THAT sentence could be taken the wrong way...)

5. Start throwing LTT jokes into every day conversation with random people to see if anyone “gets” it. “Look at that guy’s jorts. He could be a member of the wolfpack,” or “Hold me back, Chris Hansen” when you see a cute, younger guy (but, uh, not young enough that Chris Hansen should actually hold you back.)

6. Plan your voyage to “Mecca” (aka LA around November 18-22. You ARE coming right? I’ll be there with Moon! Get excited for something fun for LTT readers. Hopefully it involves Paramore Karoke)

7. Dust off Action-Figure Edward and have an adventure with him. Did you get a new job in the last 2 years? I’m pretty sure Edward needs to visit your office & be “accidentally” left in the kitchen so you can see how long it is until someone comments about him.

8. Re-watch some of our famous LTT videos & be reminded about how much fun we’ve had over the years:

and my personal favorite:

Is it November yet!?


10 weeks!!! Can you believe it? What else can we do to fill our time & prepare our hearts & minds for November’s craziness!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Anonymous

    lmao – the pic of pocket Edward with the Orgasms book! Win! I laughed so hard! That was awesome.

    To bridge the gap until BD I hits theaters, I am hosting a Twilight movie marathon with 4 friends, my 2 sisters and one of my sisters’ friends this Saturday. Only one if them is truly a fan lite me, the rest liked the books and movies but the crack that had laced the pages must have been all sniffed out by the time I’d loaned my books to them. My friend who “gets it” bought her own copy of the books to read, so whoever came up with that theory, I think you’re onto something. Anyway it’ll refresh my memory without re reading the books because I KNOW if I start re-reading, I won’t be able to not read Breaking Dawn.
    # excited

  • ChillinWithCullens

    HAHAHA!! love the “All 4 One” playing in the background of the poetry video! You ladies know how to make it classy, 1993-style!

  • Anonymous

    10 weeeeeeekkkkksss!!!!

  • Anonymous

    I think we should occupy ourselves by watching the TwiCast in all their other roles. I just watched Welcome to the Rileys (KSTEW BUM!)

    Let’s see: Tanya was innn…OH! Grindhouse! That’s good. (thanks IMDB!)

    You could watch Lost reruns and see Irina AND Ian Smoulderholder NOMS ( I know, wrong vampire but Oh I love Boone. BOOOONE!)

    And really, you know you want to re-watch Michael Sheen in 30 Rock. Forever in my heart. Love. 

    • KStewBoy

      Yes – you watched WTTR – yaay!  KSTEW Bum rules 😉

      And I may be in the minority, but I want the honeymoon to be as porny as possible.. considering the kiddo-friendly rating.

      • Anonymous

        there was a *lot* of Kstew Bum! So cute! and tiny!

        I used to have her torso…never her bum, though. I’ve always had hips & the badonkadonk to go with it. Torso though…damn I was cute…

        Anyway, She was good. James Gandofini is awesome and Melissa Leo killed it! Woo! Bella as tweaked out prostitute saying the word “cooter” a lot! Aww, remember when she got that STD? Poor Bella’s cooter! Wooo!

        I think the honeymoon will be porny in my mind, with just bits of visuals to fuel my MindPorn, which is how it should be. I know you boys like the visuals, and that’s what fan vids are for, I guess. 😉

        • The Old One

          You didn’t mention the duct-tape X’s over the pert nipples.  I thought those were a nice touch.

    • Themoonisdown

      “smoulderholder” hahahaha

      • KStewBoy

        [In Homer Simpson’s voice] “MMMmmmm… nipples.”

        • Anonymous

          Crap, I don’t remember nipples and I’ve already sent it back. I’ll have to wait for the Breaking Dawn behind the scenes, I guess. *hoping*

      • Stacey

        Mmmm…Smoulderhalder. Is it wrong that whenever I get a little sad Breaking Dawn isn’t happening until November, I think about seeing Smoulderhalder every week starting this Thursday and my day gets a wee bit brighter?

  • nocoolname

    YES!  “Flightless Bird”  gives me that FEELING that keeps me coming back for more and putting up with the totally redonkulous aspects of being a fan: i.e.  being associated with people who care about Robsten, horrific fanfic that inspires Michael Sheen’s (rightful) mockery and bad, bad wigs.  If it wasn’t for the FEELING that I get from the books and occasionally from the movies, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago.

    • Themoonisdown

      “putting up with the totally redonkulous aspects of being a fan: i.e. 
      being associated with people who care about Robsten, horrific fanfic
      that inspires Michael Sheen’s (rightful) mockery and bad, bad wigs. ”

      AAHAHAHAHAHAHforever. you win.

  • Sagalvr

    Ooh, ooh, I just moved to LA! Can’t wait for Nov 18th 🙂 (I’m in fan fiction overload). How do I find Moon and my fellow LTTers to be Normal with up here?

  • Anonymous

    Please add to Breaking Dawn I anticipation list:  BD1 soundtrack will be out Nov 8th — pre-order (and get bonus tracks).

    That’ll give us 10 days to play the soundtrack enough to commit it to memory and match the songs to the scenes in the movie.

    Has anyone leaked the track listing yet?  Apparently there’s a single they’re teasing us with…  Noisettes’ “Sister Rosetta” (from scenes shown at Comic-Con)

    • ladyofthemeadow

      That is totally what I’ll be doing with the soundtrack in those 10 days. My iPod-fuelled walk to work will fly by, at vampire speed.

      • Anonymous

        Drive Walk like a Cullen. (bah dum tsh!)

        Wow, I’m jealous your commute to work is walkable.  What a terrific way to start and end your work day.

        With 20 miles to cover, I’ll be iPod’ing BD1 on rapid transit days.  And when I’m feeling especially lazy the ol’ CD player in the car is loaded up with copies of all the soundtracks so far (and Steph’s Midnight Sun list). There’s just enough slots left for BD 1 and 2.

  • Themoonisdown

    YIKES!!!!! those videos.

    ps this post made me very happy!

  • Anonymous

    I’m trying for round three of “bring a large group of friends to a midnight premier of a twilight movie.”  Eclipse doesn’t count, I was on vacation with those women so they were stuck with me. For Twi and NM I had at least five or six people on board, and yet it strangely was just me and one other chick in the theater… Oh well. I’m converting my roommate right now, and I have at least two other people planning on it. We’ll see.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in process of transforming a coworker too. I’ve told her she has 2 months to read all books at least twice and watch all movies. I’ve also told her to keep her expectations low and it is ok to hate Bella. I am also trying to keep expectations low but I need someone to see movie with and who better than the newly converted. I don’t even mind if she lurves Edward. LTT has made me open minded like that.

      • Anonymous

        “transforming”… like a vampire… hee hee.
        Best of luck!

        • Anonymous

          Success! Coworker announced excitedly in front of room full of people ‘I started reading Twilight, I love it. I’m up to Bella just starting school’. I didn’t even blush.

      • Bubs

        I just watched the new BD trailer-Jacob still rules [I was in tears-my poor sweet Jacob].

  • Anonymous

    71, really?  #7 was my favorite; tempting.  Hahaha!  Ok, 32 seconds was my limit on the second video. ‘One of the many things Action Figure Edwad has done over the years with Moon & Myself ‘ – For another post, please.

    Holy Crow!  Only 10 weeks away?!

  • Stella

    Play “Words With Friends” and try and fit all the Twilight related words in as you can.  But, be warned, jorts is “not an acceptable word.”  I tried it, could have been a 68 point score!!  Not fair!!  They need to update the game!

    • ladyofthemeadow

      LTT/R will know it’s arrived when “jorts” is added to the OED and the Scrabble dictionary.

  • Stella

    OMG I just watched the videos, “mad teens or lost old people”!!!!!!!!!!!!  So since I’m not a teen that makes a lost old person?!  Too funny!

  • lovehigh

    Best BD ffn ever:  Let Your Light Shine by LolaShoes.  Srsly.  =)

    • Anonymous

      I totally read that as “Best BD ‘effin ever” Lol

      • lovehigh

        Yeah, that too.  😉

    • Stella

      were can you read this?? i had it from that weird site you could download it from and erased it on accident!  does anyone know how to retrieve lolashoes stories now?

      • lovehigh

        Oh, I didn’t know she’d pulled her stories.  Bummer.  Her profile on fanfiction.net has contact info.

      • lovehigh

        Oh, I didn’t know she’d pulled her stories.  Bummer.  Her profile on fanfiction.net has contact info.

  • Bleriana

    Bwhahahha! Oh I am so going to do this… Just did Number 5 on Facebook tbh… hehehhe

  • TeamSeth

    On #53, doesn’t Edward still have 2 ‘d’s and Breaking Dawn still only have 1 ‘d’? Or am I being too picky here?

    • Anonymous

      If we add a tag line like ‘headboards will be broken’ or ‘doin’ the deed’ there’s plenty of ds for everyone.

      • Anonymous

        That’s the tshirt: BREAKING DAWN 2012: Headboards Will Be Broken

        • Anonymous

          “Breaking Dawn, Breaking Headboard, Breaking Pelvis” eeugh *slaps self*

    • Anonymous

      TeamSeth: That was my thought too. Overthinkers and Grammer Nazis Unite!
      NutSlut: That was the blurb in the Seattle Times about BD in the “upcoming movies” article. I kid you not, the article started with something like “Hold on to your headboards.” I cringed, just a little. Especially considering the blurb on Abduction started with “Well, Twilight fans won’t have to wait until November to see Taylor Lautner’s abs.”

      • TeamSeth

        haha! This makes me think of Thunder Mountain at Disney…

        Howdy folks! Be sure to hold on to your hats and glasses headboards, cuz this here’s the wildest ride in the wilderness!

        Seattle totally want bella to do reverse cowgirl. Then fade to sad and the screen is black for a good 10 seconds and we suddenly hear Edward yell out, “YEEHAW!” before it cuts quickly to a long steadycam shot starting on the Pier1 Imports lantern pathway and following it up to the open door, through the calmly blowing curtains with the breeze, white feathers afloat in the air, scattered lingerie on the floor covered in shards of splintered mahogany, slowly panning up to the bedframe’s legs and then to the headboard itself, which is barely discernible as a headboard. Cut to close up of Bella’s eye, very Jack in Lost style, and she blinks a few times (consistency of character people!) before we cut to Edward’s back–white and covered in moles, like snow covered meadow with little patches of rock peeking through. We hear Bella say, “Good morning.” and then see Edward get out of the bed, turn towards Bells and show off his sour puss face. Cut back to Bella, medium-shot. She’s still wearing a contented smile. It slowly fades right before we cut to Edward snarling (er, monotoning in a slightly mangled American accent), “This can’t happen again. I almost killed you.” Cut back to Bella who falls back onto the pillow, the remaining feathers whooshing out of its side as she says, “You’re KILLING my buzz.” Wide shot of the two of them, neither looking at the other. Silence except for the breeze through the palm trees and the quiet slosh of waves breaking onto the beach. Edward finally says, “Get dressed. The cleaning lady is here.” Moments later we hear her moving about the house, vampire hearing and all that. Cut medium shot on Bella as she fumbles out of bed, the obligatory movie sheet around her nude bodysuit and a pronounced eye roll scowl on her face. Wide shot of the two of them. Edward leaves the room. Bella opens the door to the bathroom and slams it behind her.

        Let the eggs begin!

        (Clearly I am not managing expectations very well.)

        • Anonymous

          Clearly. You lost me at the moles then sucked me back in with the remaining feathers whoosing out.

  • operarose

    #48 is eerily accurate for me.

    Also, I only read 3 of them. 71 is a lot. And I don’t read. Much. (“Well, what is much?”)

    and this has been the most random LTT comment I’ve ever made.

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Was that a little Gilmore Girls quote you snuck in there? Nice!

  • I read this 71 stuff to do and… really?! if people stare us with a creppy face when we said we love twilight, those 71 things takes it to a whole new level of wierdness HAHAHA! 

  • there is a lot to do before BD 1 : more clips and stills and than u seen the whole movie. Its still summit way of doing promos since they don’ t know how to make a decent movie.  

    • Dana

      Gotta watch the trailer released last night a few hundred times more!
      Are you people dying to discuss it?

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