I will NOT feel guilty

Dear Twilight,

It’s not too early to start talking about our New Year’s resolutions, is it? Good, cause I’m about to talk about one (and use it as my excuse for why today’s letter is so short)

I’ve decided in 2012 I will stop apologizing for not always being able to be (or wanting to be) wonder woman and for allowing myself to slack on things occasionally. And by “slacking” I mean: tonight I paid my bills, online Christmas shopped, responded to emails, wrote two 2012 marketing proposals, planned for a mid-week meeting, made a Christmas tree out of an old book, cleaned up after dinner (which I MADE), and reorganized my hall closet. The only thing I wasn’t able to do was come up with something creative for LTT today. And between you & me, I have time- it’s only 10:30. There’s plenty of time before I have to be in bed. But all I really want to do is catch up on Gossip Girl because I missed it last week. So I’m not even going to apologize.

I will leave you with a few things that I found in my e-mail inbox, though, as I was responding to messages. We can call it Monday Funnies, if it makes you feel better. It doesn’t make me feel better. I’m indifferent. Not apologizing, remember?

Christine sent me this which is the first image of many which I’m SURE Robsten’s have already created, and if not, I think I might start a tumblr account to mark up images like this because it seems like a good time:

Also, Nikki Reed does know that wearing a snowcap on a warm day in California only draws MORE attention to her, right?

Then @DLivesInNJ sent us this hilarity on Twitter:

The “Taylor looks like an Alpaca” jokes will NEVER not be funny. Did I tell you we get Alpaca e-mails now? From ACTUAL Alpaca farms? I have no idea why, but I’m guessing some of YOU signed us up as a joke!

And lastly, Best Week Ever pointed something out about Taylor last week that we cannot ignore:

Queerty brings us this GIF taken from an interview Taylor gave during an Abduction junket, one in which he was discussing Audrey Hepburn. (I’m just saying! Relax.)

Taylor's Sassy Gay Hand

Yep. They’re calling that Taylor’s Sassy Gay Hand <— Read the whole hilarious thing there.

Anyway, that’s all I have today. This is me, signing off, not feeling guilty at all for today’s post, beginning our 4th year of blogging, sucking B-I-G-T-I-M-E.


Of course you know I feel sooooo terribly guilty, right?  2012 is going to be a HARD year if I really try to make that my resolution! Anyway.. got any real Monday Funnies to share?

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • JodieO

    Wait, backup, when did Nikki Reed get so thin?  Girlfriend used to have hot babe-a-licious curves and now she’s a stick figure. 


    • Bubs

      Good observation JodieO – maybe she did a Kate Middelton and lost weight for her Wedding or maybe…… she misses her cast family members [ie. one in particular] now that Twi. is finally finished.

      On another random point- has anybody else notice how much the dog looks like Bear [Robsten’s dog] ?

      • Teamseth

        I thought Bear was really little… like medium sized? This looks like a proper german shepard mix.

        • MariaCecilia

          Oh, so Bear is all grown up now? And passing from hand to hand? Hm, does that remind me of…never mind.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know where Nikki Reed lives, but I am going to guess California, since she is wearing a confusing weather inappropriate accessory. If you are wearing a T-shirt, and short cotton pants, and are exercising, why do you need a knit hat? It’s not blocking the sun. She has long straight hair, I’m sure a pony tale or messy bun would suffice for keeping her hair back. She is making my head feel sweaty and itchy just looking at her. 

    • Teamseth

      I’m loving her “protect the knees” knee support things. When I finally start going to the gym again (don’t hold your breath if you value breathing) I should get me some of those.  Actually superhumanmoron runs all the time, so I’m going to start imagining her twitter avatar in my head whenever I’m like “Meh gym”.  That girl is awesome. #inspiration

  • Anonymous

    Oh lawd do I love Taylor’s Sassy Gay Hand! I mentioned Erik Odom’s Gay Dude Head Jiggle on Twitter from your interview with him on the black carpet, and Jack Morrissey RT’d it to him. We love you no matter what, Erik, but you can’t hide the Head Jiggle. It’s out now. 

    Also: don’t feel bad. If you’d like, I could email you the insane things that go through my head each week, or Team Seth and I could post our late night semi drunk IMs. I also assign Nat to a weekly Dear Grocery Store Bella. It’s time to DELEGATE, ladies. 

    • KStewBoy

      MarbleNutSlut and TeamSeth brain dumps.  That could get me through a work day… or seven.

      UC – don’t feel bad!!  Just a simple ‘hello’ is enough for us.  *Adorable head tilt with shy smile*

    • TeamSeth

      Our IMs?! NOOOOO!!! That could only be bad.

      • Anonymous

        Which is exactly why it would be so gooooood!

      • Anonymous

        I will take this as consent to share.

  • Anonymous

    Aww UC – don’t feel bad.  The epicness you and Moon put on this site is worth waiting for – doesn’t have to be on some kind of schedule.   I’d rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special (holla Steel Magnolias!)

    Secondly, you made a Christmas tree out of a book??? 

    • Anonymous

      I saw a sparkly apple ornament the other day and almost bought it (why didn’t I?). Then I let my imagination run wild with Twi-ornament ideas. You could do so much. Not just classics like a red ribbon instead of a garland and apple and chess piece and flower ornaments, but also little stuffed llamas, sparkly my little ponies (unicorns of course), empty Rainier cans/dangling silver “R” cut outs if you’re going the classy Twi-tree route, dream catchers, random strands of ugly wig hair, tiny plaid shirts, fake meat patties (easily found rummaging through kids fake food toys). 

  • ChillinWithCullens

    That Taycob vid is hilarous! also why is Disqus not letting me “like” anything? Dislike the new setup.

    • MariaCecilia

      Actually, I think this is unfair: everyone has been going bonkers over Rob’s long hands and flexible fingers, so of course Taylor feels he has to show off some mad hand skills! Let the boy live a little, I say..

      • Anonymous

        Let’s see a little more hand-jive from all the folks

  • PokeyMomma

    I feel famous! I always knew I’d be a published author (who cares if it’s a photoshopped pic!) and seeing something I created posted on such a famous blog made my year! I’m so glad you had nothing to talk about (no apologies needed) and had to use the picture I sent you! I just wish I had made the font bigger! Oh well that can be my resolution for net year 😉

    PS I’m soo sorry but I haven’t printed another copy of our book yet, but will shoot Office Depot an email now and get it shipped this week!

  • Anonymous

    Love your motivational poster PokeyMomma, my dentist should put that up instead of the “Achieve Your Goals” and “For Every Door That Closes Another Opens”. If I ran a hip office I would totally have nicely framed posters like that but funny ones like you see in emails. 

  • MariaCecilia

    This is a sad day, my grandmother died. She was an awesome lady, but she had been sick for some time – still, everything went very quickly toward the end, and even after seeing her laid out at the hospital I can’t wrap my head around it. So, I came here before going to bed, and I am glad that you are a constant in my life. I just know my granny would have appreciated your female sass, if I could ever have persuaded her to read Twilight.;-) 
    Oh, I can hear her now, admonishing me sternly for reading commercial crap and giving me “The other sex” and “No Logo” instead, ready to come at me with questions of what I thought next time I visit…I miss you, Gran!

    • Anonymous


    • Anonymous

      “To live in the hearts of those we love is not to die”
      Thinking of you and sending big, digital, long-distance hugs

      • MariaCecilia

        Thanks for the digital hugs! Believe me, they still manage to warm me… <3

    • Anonymous

      i’m sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Alright, here is a Monday funny. My niece (nearly 15) literally just sent me and my husband this text:

    “I just noticed today but Jake” (my husband) “has the coolest name ever Jacob Edward the twilight characters that is awesome!”

    I laughed so hard that she only just realized this and that she was so geeked about it.

    But yes, my dear niece, yes he does.

  • Anonymous

    my New Year’s resolution: i will not feel so guilty for being averagely interested in twilight matters (it’s been nearly a month since BD came out and i watched it for the first time just yesterday). it’s very sad because i want to be that person again. not the person who checked Twilight news sites every five minuets, read the saga in never ending loop and knew the Wiki introduction of each of the cast members by heart, especially not that one… i just want it to matter again. speaking of Twilight-crazy days, i feel a powerful urge to burn my journals of the last few years. i leafed through one the other day and was absolutely horrified. that person was A PSYCHO!

    • Anonymous

      No burning! Horrific now, hilarious in another couple of years

      • Anonymous

        i really hope you’re right.

    • MariaCecilia

      No, no, you may publish those journals in the future, or donate them to research, or make fan fiction out of them – or construct a Christmas tree, it would seem..?? Actually, the possibilities are endless!

      • Anonymous

        No publishing! i’m taking them with me to the grave 🙂

    • TeamSeth

      My old journals are one of my favorite things I’ve kept. Don’t burn!

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