Twilight in Twitter

Dear Twilight,

Back in 2009 we had The Meyerbook– someone’s “Facebook” take on Twilight. And we laughed. But now, thanks to dear LTT readers like OperaRose, LadyMeadow, NatteringYeahRobber, TeamSeth, MarbleNutSlut, KayVeeBee and JustGoWithIt, we have Twilight in Twitter. Enjoy:

the Cast

Bella @cloudsorry, Jessica @futurevaledictorian, Mike @rainboner, Edward @edward1901, Jasper @emotionalvamp, Alice @BellasBestie

Bella: @futurevaledictorian People keep telling me to follow @ecullen1901

Jessica: @cloudsorrow Oh, that’s Edward Cullen. You can follow & tweet him but
he’ll never respond #gorgeous #toogoodforanyone #likeIcare

Bella: @futurevaledictorian Wasn’t planning on it. #lies

Mike: @cloudsorrow @futurevaledictatorian YO! Snow Flower and the Secret
Fan is playing! U 2 IN? It is OK if you can’t make it,

Jessica: @rainboner @cloudsorrow Nice try, M. #firstgrade #newtoy #groan


Edward: @cloudsorrow HELLO?

Bella: @edward1901 Thanks for causing a scene today in class. You sort of creep me out. Sorry.

Edward: @cloudsorrow I’m Edward.

Bella: @edward1901 Duh. That’s your response? #arrogant #youreyeschangecolortoo

Edward: @cloudsorrow We were both right about prophase. #likeIsaid

Bella: @edward1901 Something odd about you. Again, WTF with your eyes?

Edward: @cloudsorrow *saunters off* #talklater #mystery #youknowyouloveit


also find her @boobsmcgee

Jessica: @cloudsorrow @secondbestfriend HOORS! SHOPPING!??? Half off at PROMetheus in Port Angeles!

Bella: @futurevaledictorian OK. I guess. Whatever. Dad says I need more girl time. #fine #onlyvampirebookstoreinWAtheretoo

Mike: @cloudsorrow @futurevaledictorian @secondbestfriend Can I come too? #willholdyourpurseswhileyoutrystuffon

Jessica: Direct Message – @rainboner you know B has a thing for @edward1901 right?


Jessica: @cloudsorrow so. How was his bed? *winks*

Bella: @futurevaledictorian no bed. Pretentious CD collection. Only recognized Debussy. Photos of me everywhere.

Jessica: @cloudsorrow which Debussy? Please tell me he didn’t play Claire de Lune. #tooeasy

Jessica: @cloudsorrow also, I cannot believe his @klout score is higher than mine.

Bella: @futurevaledictorian You don’t think it is weird he has photos of me everywhere? Normal?

Jessica: @cloudsorrow Please tell me it wasn’t a Best Of Debussy compilation. Please.

Debussybot: @cloudsorrow @futurevaledictorian RT: Please tell me he didn’t play Claire de Lune.


Bella: @edward1901 were you in my room taking photos last night by any chance?

Edward: @cloudsorrow hey, did you take my Best of Debussy CD?

Bella: @edward1901 Do you ever not answer any questions with questions? My dad says people who do that are usually lying.

Edward: @cloudsorrow gotta go. Wear something tonight. #nudesleepingisnothygenic #leftyouateeshirtandundiesinyourbottomdrawer


Bella: @edward1901: when I glare at you tomorrow at school, follow me into the woods. #IKnow

Edward: @emotionalvamp Here’s my move: she says she knows. I’ll trip her backwards and knock her head again.

Jasper: @edward1901 @BellasBestie says you are just going to make out with her no matter what happens

Edward: @BellasBestie Please change your handle. Your visions are subjective.

Alice: @edward1901 You can’t make me. Let me seeee….nope. You can’t. Go kiss your girlfriend.


Edward: @BellasBestie @emotionalvamp OKAY that game went as poorly as possible. Fuck.


Jessica: @cloudsorrow: Where have you been? Why do you have a giant cast?
Bella: @futurevaledictorian I don’t want to talk about it. BTW your boobs look great.


Um that was hilarious. Thanks girls. XOXO UC

PS: When GOOGLING to find that “Meyerbook” thing above, I discovered things tagged “Twilight” on the Failbook site. Annoying to read, but funny when you get through all the crap: Twilight Failbook

  • MarbleNutSlut

    Holy crap we are funny. I love the idea of Edward taking pictures of Bella while she sleeps and hanging them in his room. That cracks me up.  Also, UC and Moon have assured us that SM will read this and immediately love us. (I may have read between the lines a bit there. what they said was, “We will post this.” But, I know what they were really saying.)

    Anyway, Steph: for brunch, do you prefer bellinis or mimosas? You know what, I’ll just make both.  *waits patiently*

    • TeamSeth

       You don’t think she’d go for bloody mary’s?

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Maybe in a Mason Jar?

        • MarbleNutSlut

          Bitch don’t share our private mason jar conversations! And stop mocking the beverage choice of my chosen people! I would be offended if hipsters got offended.

          • ladyofthemeadow


        • We’ll only serve them to her in a “Masen” jar (for Edward)

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Anything as long as it’s “Olympic sized”.

        • MariaCecilia

          *pouting* I’m offended that the mere obstacle of the Atlantic ocean has kept you from inviting me to your Olympic sized cocktail parties…

  • Jessica*notStanley*

    I almost never come out of lurkdom to comment, but that was just too hilarious. Very sorry I missed the Facebook version! Lol at “You can’t make me. Let me seeee….nope. You can’t. Go kiss your girlfriend.”

  • “Edward: @cloudsorrow hey, did you take my Best of Debussy CD?”
    LOVE IT!!!!!!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    “Edward: @cloudsorrow *saunters off* #talklater #mystery #youknowyouloveit”@MarbleNutSlut:disqus 

    • MarbleNutSlut

       hee hee. I think that bit was @teamseth:disqus but now I have visions of UNG that back…that waistline…unf. *drools on computer*

      • TeamJacobEdward

        LOL – I should have known that was a TS comment. #<3 her

      • TeamJacobEdward

        PS – I have no idea how I tagged you in my comment… *shrugs*

        I guess I just wanted to get you to reply to me.  😀

        • MarbleNutSlut

           OMG do you have photos of me sleeping?!?!

          *whispers* that’s cool if you do.

          • TeamSeth

             Not anymore. I hid them under her floorboard.

          • MarbleNutSlut

            Hee hee

          • ladyofthemeadow

            my God, it’s like, the first grade all over again, you’re the shiny
            new toy…

      • TeamSeth

         No! Was Nat’s!  mine are all in New Moon. The film where Jake undergoes a twitter handle transition period.

  • chochang

    Confession: I swooned when I read this:

    “Edward: @cloudsorrow HELLO?”

  • alice_av

    LMAO! fantastic….

  • Luludee

    Hahaha! Awesome!

  • twiprof

    very good! love to laugh!  Nice touch with the #likeIcare and the #likeIsaid   It makes me want to go back and watch Twilight again….or… the novel again, for the umteenth time 🙂

  • Nelle

    Nelle: @LTT ladies -you are #hilarious.

    • TeamSeth

       🙂 RT: @Nelle @LTT ladies – you are #hilarious

  • Moonjenn

    I laughed so hard/loud I scared my children. #likeicare

  • GoWithIt

    If I lived in a Twilight lovers commune we would have that Twilight Fail picture as our screensaver for at least a week. 

  • Venom

    Thanks ladies! (such a weird thing to call you but hilarious geniuses are the only other words that come to mind-you made my otherwise fucking miserable day).  Not only did i get a good #fartlaugh (is this the appropriate syntax?), but I may now finally understand the modern use of hash tags and possibly asterisks. (i’m old) Correct me if I’m wrong here:

    # I just wanna try one thing

    *pats back undeservingly while shamelessly seeking validation from complete strangers who are way more hip*

    #i’mdownwiththekids #hugedork

    /drunken comment

    • MarbleNutSlut

      Excellent use of hashtags. You win the Golden Onion.

      • TeamSeth

         agreed! Prophase On!

  • RobRomVamp

    This is the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile!

  • MariaCecilia

    Pffft! This is just too funny! I almost wish I was on Twitter now…Thank you for making my day! Again.

  •  Funniest thing I’ve read on here for months!!!

  • Fel

    Thanks, Ladies. That was very entertaining. XD

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