Hi it’s me. The Worst Twilight Blogger Ever

Hi Twilight,
It’s me, UC. Aka the worst Twilight blogger ever.

I’m not lacking for content- no no no.. there are sooo many things I want to say about the Twit-longers I keep seeing daily (check out this one), the headlines about “He said, she said” (you know who I mean), the EPIC comments that are still being left on comments (search for “sordid past” on this one), but I’m reallyyyy busy cheering on Team USA and looking at half naked men reading articles that feature close up shots of Olympic athletes.

Plus Moon is in Africa for a few weeks (yes, AGAIN) Have I complained about that yet? COME BACK MOON!

Plus I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what Kristen may have put in that alleged Uhaul that was hers (FYI– If I was the #1 highest paid actress in 2011, I’d also rent a Uhaul to move my crap). So far I’ve come up with:

  • Well…..

    Her Mullet collection

  • All her knotted t-shirts
  • The Brit pack (there’s no way she’s letting Rob keep them)
  • Short dresses packed in boxes with matching sneakers
  • A couple cardboard cutout Edwards to keep her company when the nights get lonely
  • The bearskin rug (she fears if she left it Rob would have it shredded)
  • A couple boxes of Robsten Tumblr print-outs plus a few hundreds poster-sized “KEEP CALM BECAUSE ROBSTEN IS UNBROKEN” signs to plaster around LA.

Oh, and that “Wellll…” captioned on the Robsten is UnBroken video? Imagine Timmy is saying it.

And if you don’t know who Timmy is, you need to watch this.

It has nothing to do with Twilight, but it has to do with me and I love Twilight. Therefore you should know about it:


I’m all over the place today. It’s all these hotties in speedos, I’m telling ya. Rob who?



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