Renesmee Cullen

Dear Renesmee,

When the movie studios decide to tell your story after Stephanie Meyers is over her feeling of “not going back to Forks” and realizes she must write your story, can I star as the grown-up you?

And if that’s okay, will it be okay if I try to seduce the man who plays your father?

Thanks for considering me. (If it helps, I’m a vegetarian too)

P.S. your boyfriend kissed your Mommy and wanted to do more. Ask Daddy