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How to Prepare to Meet a Literary Goddess

Dear LTTers,

In the past few weeks since the news broke that Moon & I have this great opportunity to interview Stephenie Meyer, we have been INUNDATED with questions, advice, tips, threats that we’ll no longer have friends if we don’t get an answer about Midnight Sun and so much more my head has been spinning for 2 weeks straight (2 weeks? 3 weeks? 3 months? I have no idea) We’ve heard from EVERYONE- from kids, to grown-ups, to bloggers, to men, to mortgage brokers in Oregon who have a “beautiful, quiet lakeside property that would be the perfect backdrop for Stephenie’s next story” (true), to people we don’t know who have been so kind to have offered themselves up as a potential partner in crime if Moon or I couldn’t make the interview (also true). It’s been… interesting.

Needless to say, I’ve been documenting this experience and plan to submit it to 20/20 as a “BEHIND THE SCENES OF A FEW WEEKS IN THE LIFE OF BARELY KNOWN BLOGGERS WHO REALLY DON’T MATTER” (or if that fails, at least America’s Funniest Home Videos- Rob knows Saget now- I’m sure he can get us a meeting) but for you my fine LTT readers, I want to share a sneak peek of what could potentially appear on 20/20 or at least in the bargain bin at that one last West Coast video store outside of Muncie, Indiana that just won’t go out of business like the rest of the franchise.
I’ve titled it:

How to Prepare to Meet a Literary Goddess

A step-by-step guide to get primped, primed, prepared & polished to interview the world’s #1 Vampire writer next to Anne Rice & all the other Vampire writers out there that I’m unaware of because I could care less about the vampire part and care more about the Edward being the sexiest thing alive part:

Most of this guide is based on the true-life story of one UnintendedChoice. Some liberties have been taken for added effect, but many details are true. Unfortunately the pants looked that bad:

-Accidentally dye your hair a totally new color so no one will recognize you 3 days before you leave

-Get a bikini wax. Ya know, just in case Stephenie Meyer wants to be a fake lesbian too

-Work on your list of questions for Stephenie

1. Stephenie how did it feel when _______________
2. Stephenie when did you figure out that __________
3. Stephenie do you __________________

and pray HARD that the blanks get filled in

-Request a birthday present from a friend themed “Meeting Stephenie Kit” containing:

  • the cutest notebook for taking many notes during the interview (or drawing Rob+Your name=Love)
  • Hot Pink “I’m more famous than you” Sunglasses
  • A fancy pen only a 4 year old would think is cool
  • Hand sanitizer in case Steph surprises you with a one-on-one with Rob. Obviously before you shake his hand you’ll need to have him take a squirt of antibacterial..
  • Twilight Trading cards- maybe Steph will want to trade you Jacob for an Edward.
  • Purple Tights cause “Purple’s Cool”
  • A card that reads “Don’t be embarrassing”
  • Travel deodorant because you’re going to have to reapply after bathroom break #1, 5 minutes into the interview…

-Have a fashionable friend “style” you & provide a look-book with outfit options including phrases like “This necklace dresses it up a bit! It screams “I’m an awesome blogger with an awesome style sense!”

-Then cry in Urban outfitters when they don’t have the pants you were planning to buy for above mentioned cute outfit

-Then drive 1 hour out of their way to find store with cute pants

-Cry again when you realize cute pants are NOT cute on you

-Cry harder when you realize not only do you not have PANTS but you don’t have any interview questions. Ignore hipster girl working at Urban Outfitters who is judging you because your eyeliner is smudgy & remind yourself she makes $8.25/hour and is not better than you like she seems to think. Then stifle a giggle when you realize she’s in jorts.

-Instead focus on if you will go for a hug with Steph or ask for a hand-shake. NIGHTMARE ALERT: upon realizing how lame it is to shake hands with a hero, you may accidentally word-vomit “FACE PUNCH” instead and clock her right in the nose. Beware.

-Email every single ‘journalist’ you’ve potentially come into contact with for tips. Talk to bloggers you know, friends from other media outlets. Did your sister graduate 2 weeks ago with a degree in communications? Borrow her COM401 textbook for tips no one needed in college & still have no practical use in the real world.  Do you follow the guy who does the 1 am news on the local cable station who has 300+ twitter friends? Tweet him for some helpful tips on how to handle the “pressure” of the audience.

-Focus on learning how not to CRY the minute she walks into the room. Not because you are overwhelmed with emotion because THAT’S STEPHENIE.. No, try not to cry when you realize you have NO questions written down in your cute new notepad….

-Learn Quileute so you can have a bilingual interview translated for the people of La Push

-Practice walking in your highest heels- Don’t let those bitches from Twifans show you up- YOUR heels WILL be higher. The higher the heel, the closer you are to God, therefore you win.

-Perfect your mushroom ravioli recipe in case there’s a quiz.

-And lastly, don’t have a heart attack when THIS pops up on your computer while you’re writing a list called:

How to Prepare to Meet a Literary Goddess

Breathe...Breathe...(and click so you can see why I'm telling myself to breathe!)

Happy Interviewing,

Oh, and those blanks next to interview questions are still blank…..

We MIGHT be approaching freak-out mode! Plus Moon just quickly got off line and said “Gotta go- Earthquake” Then proceeded to DRIVE down the interstate. WHAT IF SHE DISAPPEARS INTO A BIG EARTH CRATER BEFORE THE INTERVIEW!? How will I choose between all the people who have offered to come with us to the interview? (Dear Lord, 12 year olds reading this I’m not serious- Moon will be fine… don’t ask to come with me) Besides coming up with interview questions, what MORE can I do to prepare!? My bags are packed!!! My upper lip is waxed!!! (Nope) and I washed my lucky Edward underwear. Any suggestions!????

Psst- the interview is Friday…the UC & Moon reunion begins Thursday!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Breathe.
    Steph will love you.
    How can she not?!
    You and Moon are fabulous.
    You will ask good questions because you are both so hilarious. It’s inevitable.
    You will both be charming, fabulous and if Steph doesn’t wanna fake lez snog you right there and then there’s clearly something wrong with her. (Kidding!)
    You will both rock it!

    • Sj

      And then breathe again, but not heavy, because that would be just creepy. hehe.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    Maybe you should do a little gratuitous drug use (cold medicine) the night before meeting Stephenie… There is no way you’ll get ANY sleep if you don’t. 🙂

    • eloise

      It worked for Bella!

    • superhumanmoron

      Or use Rob’s trick and take some xanax(?).

    • snowwhitedrifted

      Gin Martinis- nature’s xanax

      • TeamSeth

        Now you’re talkin’

      • done. i can’t wait to meet. we WILL have a goooddd time:)

    • lindsaylee

      Killer ideas

  • eloise

    Really, who actually looks good in those pants?
    And don’t stress about the interview. I am sure it will be great and the questions will come to you. I can’t wait to read about it!

    • AJ

      Seriously UC, I want those pants too and have been resisting the urge because they only look good on Diane Kruger. You get mad props for the attempt!

      Oh, and good luck with the interview! Just remember to be you and that you don’t take Twilight too seriously.

      At least we know you won’t ask her for her signature on your arm so you can get a sick twilight tattoo or fall at her knees begging for “the real Edward’s” phone number.

      Oh, and make us proud!

      • eatmyjorts

        Pants (trousers…their real name is trousers) like that are designed for anorexic ladyboys. No-one who actually has 2 X chromosomes & hence the hips of a woman looks good in those. Unless you are still in your skinny adolescent phase…not looking good in those means you are a woman. Deal with it. Or get Mr Choice to 😉

      • The carrot pants, aka those who replaced all my skinny (hole-y or not) jeans!!!

        I’ve seen Diane Kruger in said carrot pants (and in tweed(!!!) for realz) in a bar and she does look great in them, and she has great street style (and no make-up) everytime I bump into her.

        I am shocked UC, said carrots didn’t fit you I blame it on the brand or on you not getting the right size, because you seem the kind of girl who can wear everything.

        P.S. I realise the ridiculousness of the girly talk but I can’t help it when it comes to fashion, it’s simply stronger than me.

    • Brooke Lockart

      No offense to UC or that model, but eek!! Those pants…kinda glad they didn’t work out.

      Uc, I’m sure you’ll look adorbs!

    • TeamSeth

      I concur about the pants. They remind me of the pants that the Gaysian dude from Project Runway (the one that Seth Aaron won) always made. He loved that sort of bubble out around the hip look. God, what was his name…

      • The Old One

        Right, the bubble around the hips look is always number one in my criteria for choosing “trousers”.

        • snowwhitedrifted

          *RANDOM- Charles Mingus came up in my google (BING)search today. Thought of you and the Rob poems.

          • The Old One

            I really should sit down and try to write that poem . . .

    • MariaCecilia

      I totally agree – take heart, it’s just the usual case of the harsh light of (sur)reality hitting one in the dressing room. Ignore, ignore!
      Just remember to brush your teeth (good for the breathing part), pick your nose and wash your ears before going in. Personal hygiene is SO important for making a good impression, and makes you feel confident. (Are you taking notes, Rob?)

  • Stacey

    You and Moon are going to do great! You will wow the other bloggers with your thoughtful and funny questions! I do think you might want to ask about Stephenie’s observations about Rob’s lack of cleanliness during filming or the reason for Renesme. (I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one) Just a few suggestions to get you started!

    Don’t worry about those Urban Outfitters clerks. It’s been awhile since my husband dragged me out of there so I can shop at a “proper store like Ann Taylor Loft”. Argh! Those girls have been bringing the snark and bitchface, since the store was founded. You’ll look great in those pants! (not saying that in a fake lesbian way. That’s for you and Stephenie to discuss!)

    • Stacey

      So my iphone doesn’t actually, pick up all the images from your post. I didn’t actually see the picture of those pants on an actual female, not only on what I am sure is a 9 year old boy in the fantasy picture, until I went onto the computer. Those are actually horrible pants made for little boys and you are too cute for them.

  • Alice_NaA

    Treat yourself to a nice relaxing massage! Maybe it’s best to not be TOO prepared and to really just enjoy the experience. Let those other bloggers do all the thinking and when an interesting question of theirs is asked, just strike a line on your note pad (containing a list of cute local boutiques you need to mention to inspire the wardrobe choices in her future work) saying “Oh, we wanted to ask the exact same thing!”. DO ask whether she will be starring in a Dynasty remake though:


    • is that her!?
      i’m so confused…….!

      • TeamSeth

        Well, it’s either her after her Glamor Shots makeover or a drag queen named Mrs. Cullen

  • superhumanmoron

    You should consult with PPL for wardrobe options. You really want to impress Mrs. Meyers? Go for a Stephenie Skort.

    • Stacey

      Or maybe a nice, classy pair of jorts. In honor of Jacob and Eclipse.

      • Kaet

        Or go a la the weird girl who dressed up as Bella on Isle Esme… sheet, fake bruises and feathers… oh no wait a minute that could be a serious faux pas cos maybe Steph will be wearing the EXACT same thing… better play it safe with a nice sleeveless white shirt.

    • eloise

      Don’t forget the khaki skirt/blue v-neck sweater combo!

      • Kadie

        You beat me to it…I was going to recommend this!

  • kat

    Relax!!!!! (Soooo easy for me to say, I know) Basically, all I want, as one of your readers, is for you to memorize and repeat back to us Stephenie’s every spoken word and movement (in her calm, non-stuttery way). No big deal right? If you can’t video tape it, you can act it out for us. Once again, no biggie.

    Actually, it would be my luck to come down with a raging case of diahrea right before the interview.

    In the end, I can’t wait to have you guys represent the Twi fans that aren’t bat shit crazy, AREN’T Twimoms, aren’t teenagers, have awesome jobs, and even better shoes . I may have two little ones running around here somewhere—but I’m no Twimom. Have a great time!!!!! Report back!!!!!

    • Michelle

      OMG Kat! Thank you…lol…love it. Every word. I totally agree right down to the raging bathroom issue (I can’t spell that word) and the 2 kids but DANG IT I’M NOT A TWIMOM (regardless of what my husband says! A few books and maybe 2 puzzles does NOT constitute TWI MOM!)

      • kitkat

        *off topic side note* I have one of those puzzles and those things are HARD! (ummm…) My family went out and bought a giant lighted magnifying puzzle thing because the only way to distinguish between the pieces (which are pretty much shaped all the same) is the one degree difference in blackness.
        *end rant*

        • Michelle

          They are totally hard! LOL! I did the whole family one (Twilight) and have the New Moon one w/ just EBJ on it waiting… 😉 Thankfully the Hubs likes puzzles. It’s the only Twi-related thing he can REALLY stand. Muhahahaha! I insist on doing Edwards face though! 😉

    • Stacey

      I am in total agreement about being a mom, but not a Twimom. There should be a support group, because I am made fun of daily. Just because I still have the Time Most Influential issue, doesn’t mean anything. I got it for Barak Obama… Umm… Yeah, that works… Not for someone pretty being in it.

      Plus, my babies are too little to read, so it isn’t like I am reading Twilight with my daughter, discussing how hot Edward is. That would be kind of creepy.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        LTT’ers with kids are not twimoms. They are on the same level as soccer moms- both give us cool moms a bad name (and you know I’m a cool mom because I used the world cool in 2010). We just happened to reproduce while the twi-storm was brewing. Denying being a twimom is totally normal.

        *said by a woman who is having an Eclipse themed dinner party on Thursday. But there will be no F*in strawberries!!!

        • snowwhitedrifted

          …and “they are on the same level with soccer moms”, they meaning the traditional twimom.

        • Stacey

          That Eclipse dinner party sounds fun! :0 ) Good idea about skipping the strawberries. The question is, will you be using the Twilight paper plates and matching napkins? I saw them at Target and they are very classy!

          • Lovintherain

            I just saw those this morning at Target. My kids wanted me to get the magnets. I had to restrain myself…pretend I am mature in front of them.

          • snowwhitedrifted

            Ha ha ha, no paper Bella bowls can contain my mushroom ravioli.

          • 3hboyshouse

            The only reason to buy Eclipse napkins is so you can rub your face all over Rob!

        • 3hboyshouse

          I am in total agreement about your twimom comment and you are cool.

        • 3hboyshouse

          I hope the party goes well. Bunco was a success. I will send pics soon. Good luck!

          • snowwhitedrifted

            Glad to hear Bunco was a success and I’m looking forward to your pix!
            And thought of an additional dessert for my wolf friendly guests- brownies with Jacobs abs cut onto them.

      • TeamSeth

        Your comment about Time Most Influential made me relive a moment I had in the basement this past weekend (no, it’s not like that!). I came across my box of “Old Magazines and Notebooks I Want To Keep To Look At Later Even Though I Rarely Remember I Have This Box” (they don’t make that as a moving box label option, but you know everyone has that box, so they should). Anyway, inside, on top (twss) was my 1999 YM issue with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck on the cover. Kept for Matt Damon, of course. And for a brief moment I was able to smile and forget that I was trying to find a gas container for the weed whacker.

        • Stacey

          I had those pictures hanging up in my dorm room!

        • lilmisscan’tbewrong

          Yeah, I so have that box in my garage. But not that magazine, which is sad because I love Matt Damon. And I hate weed-whacking.

    • Amen!! I have four little kids but I’m not ridiculous and therefore NOT a Twimom (right? right??).

      • 3hboyshouse

        RIGHT! People with 4 kids are not twimoms! They may be bat sh*t crazy, but they are not twimoms!

        PS. I only say this cause I have 4 kids myself 😉

    • TeamSeth

      OMG! Thank you for making laugh so hard I cried. I really needed it this morning (after throwing up at the bus stop right outside my office. that was HOT.) I love this comment, like they said, all of it. So much win. ::wipes tear and munches on some saltines::

      • Stacey

        I hope you are feeling better!!!

        • TeamSeth

          Thanks! The crackers and gatorade have really helped (and you know, reading LTT… it’s color scheme puts me in a happy place)

        • TeamSeth

          Thanks! The crackers and gatorade have really helped (and you know, reading LTT… its color scheme puts me in a happy place)

  • Sassysmart

    If you’re freaking out think how Steph feels. I mean she gets to meet YOU. Two completely normal fans. It will be like heaven for her. She may keep you.

    • BayWolf

      Heard! (Oh no – what if Speph really keep them???)

      • BayWolf

        STeph (sorry – I just got so scared, that I spelled Steph wrong!)

    • MariaCecilia

      Yes, I heard she really enjoys ..ehm, Normal People…

  • Lovintherain

    You two will do great! After having read your blog on a daily basis for the last year, I know that you ladies ponder the stuff we sometimes don’t even realize we want the answers to. I know your questions will be the ones that provoke the most interesting responses from Stephenie. Make sure you let yourselves enjoy it! Once in a lifetime experience….lucky!!!

  • Michelle

    Hugs UC and Moon!! I can imagine the stress and anxiety – holy crap I have butterflies just thinking of it – okay wait that’s not helping…anyhoooooooo…I agree with everyone above – just be YOU! You girls ROCK we love you for your snark and humor…and that’s why Steph picked you – it was TOTALLY set up – LOL!

    I think you should go for a sleeveless white shirt and a khaki skirt. Always win in Steph’s book. Moonie could wear a blue shirt and a khaki skirt. Whatever you do – bring KHAKI baby!

    So I was joking about the above…but crap, not to stress you out…but MAYBE you SHOULD wear something Twi-Tacky. I mean, this IS the lady who went to Twilight themed prom parties all across the USA. Um, lame much? XOXO Steph. Muhahahahahahaaaaa. Maybe wear a Bella Prom Dress? Ohhhhh one of you should rock Alice’s geometric cut out prom dress. Hawt.

    Enough rambling from crazy-Michelle. You girls will do great!! We love you to bits and pieces!!

  • I can imagine how hard it is for you guys right now not to freak out. And I’m half believing that you don’t have any questions. Because what DO you ask Stephenie? I mean yeah, we have thrown A LOT of silly questions around here but how can you ask those without sounding like a retarded 5 yo? It’s funny to us, but will it be funny to her? OK, I’m not really helping here.

    You know how we love Rob’s word-vomit and almost anything else besides that is boring? Well the same thing applies to you. So don’t worry about it, even if you screw up, it will still be WIN times 100, so it won’t really be a screw-up, so it will most definitely be 100% win whatever you do. (word-vomit, see?)

    And you should definitely take some mild drug before you go (Rob approves.)

    • I just thumbed me down for saying that almost anything else besides word vomit is boring. That applies for Rob in most interviews. NOT YOU! You are seriously two of the funniest people I “know”.
      Just wanted to clarify that.

      • I love people that thumbs down themselves!
        Thumbs down to me, because I shoudl be loving on the girls and not your awesomeness.

    • Obava

      Hahaha I thought someone down-thumbed you for your gratuitous drug use suggestion! I up-thumbed you (twss) for that 😉

  • Carrie Jo

    Umm, let’s see:

    1. Ask some great questions no one has ever asked so that Steph will want to talk to you more than the other interviewers. (Questions like would one of the wolves have imprinted on Rebecca Black if she hadn’t married the Samoan surfer dude and disappeared to Hawaii? or Does Steph think Edward would have fallen in love with Bella if he could have read her mind? NOT just endless questions about Mormon housewives 🙂 )
    2. Don’t worry about pants made for girls that are a size zero. Stephenie is fashionable and a normal size and won’t be judging you about your outfit, just your brilliance 🙂
    3. If Moon DOES fall into a crater, PICK ME to go with you ! (I know, I know, never going to happen. I can dream, though, right?)
    4. And as Kat said, make sure there is a great video and/or transcript for all of us sitting home jealous.

    Have fun!

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  • BayWolf

    Okey – this made me laugh hard:
    NIGHTMARE ALERT: upon realizing how lame it is to shake hands with a hero, you may accidentally word-vomit “FACE PUNCH” instead and clock her right in the nose. Beware.

    But seriously:
    You’re going to do great – you girls are fabulous and funny – and we love you and so does Steph (who doesn’t?).

    No pressure from here – except a description of the day in every detail (I mean EVERY detail) – oh and of couse I’m expecting Midnight Sun to be published later this year or early next spring;-)

    And just a thing I’ve just descorvered: When using google translater: When writing pup (can’t ever remember if it is spelled: publis og puplis) it translate: ulveunge in danish (ulveunge=wolfpuppy)

  • barbiebellmarie

    “at least in the bargain bin at that one last West Coast video store outside of Muncie, Indiana that just won’t go out of business like the rest of the franchise.”<–HILARIOUS….because I'm from Indiana I feel like that was a shout out…even tho y'all don't know me. hahah.

    Also, you gals will do great! no worries here. I have no doubt you'd ask better questions than I could ever think of….with way better humor than the vast majority of us.

    • it was for you!!!!


    • natalie_MKH

      I was hoping there was at least one other person from IN that reads this blog! I immediately had a flash back to my sisters 21st bday while she was at Testicle Tech (Ball State) and how they had a pizza vendor and the Hot Dog Guy on the sidewalk at three in the morning…and now I’m hungry. Oh well. Yay for some IN lovin’ (I hope that’s how that reference was intended).

      Oh, and I wouldn’t write down question before going. You gals will have AWESOME questions after taking some cold medicine, a few (don’t over do it) vicadin, and washing it all down with a gin martini.

  • SarahG

    Dude, I have nothing constructive to put forth other than I’m insanely jealous of the two of you and I know you will rock the interview! Maybe ask her what her favorite color is? (like I said, I got nothing…brain…will not…function….this….early…)

  • Omg, on June 17 you’re going to interview Stephenie Meyer.
    On June 17 I am going to interview Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart. Seriously, they’re coming to Rome and I have THE ticket through which I am able to ask them questions. Yeah, I know. The problem is I DON’T know what the heck I am going to ask them. I have nooooooo idea =(

    • You know how Rob and Kristen always say awkward/funny/inappropriate things and Taylor ALWAYS seems so composed (and by that I mean boooring)? Well ask him if he’s really like that or if he’s just always editing in order to give the “right” answer. And then maybe make him promise that he’ll just say the first thing that comes to mind for the rest of the interview.

      I’m still thinking about Kristen’s questions, she’s a tough cookie.

      And do you know how long they are staying in Rome? Because I’m going next week. I hate it when people ask questions that can be easily answered by Google. I’m just so laaaazy.

      • I *think* they’re staying for two-three days, since they have to go to other cities in Europe next.

    • eatmyjorts

      I would probably want to ask them what questions they’d like to be asked in an interview, or if there was something to talk about that they hadn’t gotten the chance to yet…or what are their favourite charities/causes?

      But I’d love to hear Taylor talk about whether he stops himself from blurting stupid stuff out in interviews, by keeping himself in check, or if he’s just got an interview ‘mode’ he goes with now. We know Kristen’s interview mode is panic, Rob’s is word vomit, & his is…charming, but bland, mostly.

      If I was there I’d just want to get them being silly. I’d end up asking daft stuff about what K sees in the lesbian trucker look she sometimes sports, & just say to Taylor, ‘American football. Why? Why do they even call it football?’

      Have FUN with them.

      • TeamSeth

        Please ask Taylor why it’s called football and not armball or throwball.

        • Sj

          Or why it’s not called ‘loads of guys running around in tight shiny culottes’. Though it does appear quite normal.

    • it’s actually June 18th, but still.. we can pretend it’s the same day!!! HAVE FUN with your interviews!

    • originally_au

      They say you’re never supposed to ask a question if you don’t already know the answer. I don’t know if that is exactly true, but you should always at least have a few guesses for a potential answer that way you know it’s not going to be unanswerable or just plain boring. Or you’ll know if you’re asking something that’s going to result in a “pre-packaged,” politically correct, studio issued answer.

      If I were interviewing anybody I would ask them about their regrets. I’d want to know if they could have one “do over” or the ability to take something back they’ve said and erase it from the public consciousness what that thing would be. The trick with asking this is that you have to ask it in a way that you don’t get the standard, “I wouldn’t change anthing. I am who I am today because of the mistakes I’ve made” answer. Another variable of this question would be to ask about the most hurtful and/or incorrect thing they’ve seen about themselves in the media. Both questions are good because they have the chance to clarify misconceptions that may exist in the media and talk about the things they’d wished they’d said or done.

      Kristen would probably take back her “It’s so… The photos are so… I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it” quote. She’d also have the opportunity to further talk about how people thing she doesn’t care about the fans, when she really does, blah, blah, blah. I don’t think it’s so bad to give Kristen questions that she’s already kinda answered because she’s the most awkward and since she’s already had a chance to think about how people perceive her, she may appreciate the opportunity to further clarify her position.

      I’d assume that Chris Weitz wants to take back wearing orange pants to the London NM premiere.

      I’d really like to know if Rob regrets telling people that his sisters dressed him up and called him Claudia, saying he wouldn’t have bought a used car from his Dad, or clear up any of the misconceptions people have about his hygiene. I know he’s already said he was trying to be less self deprecating.

      I don’t know if Stephenie wishes she’d written under a pen name so that she could live more anonymously? Maybe she wishes she wouldn’t have told fans she’s read fanfic or visited fan sites so she could lurk more freely? Or maybe she’d change some part of The Twilight Saga. I’ve seen a quote saying that the Bree book changed the way she felt about Eclipse. Maybe you could get some clarification?

      I think it would be most interesting to see what Taylor would do over. I agree with the comment above that he seems to have the most “prepared” answers. It would be interesting to get a REAL answer from him for a change. Maybe you could ask him if he HAD to change one thing he’s done in his life, what would that thing be.

      • eatmyjorts

        Ooooh ooooh, defs ask Taylor if he realises that Big Daddy has become a celebrity in his own right, & that if he opened a cuddle stall he could earn millions all by himself? Oh to be a fly on the wall for this one…

        • Sj

          Yes. A question like that is bound to bring a return of bitchy Tay,

          • Stacey

            Bitchy Taylor is so fun!

          • return? when has Tay ever been bitchy? that I need to see!

  • eatmyjorts

    I’m sure your back-up outfits of jorts & LTT/LTR t-shirts will look marvellous. Lose no sleep over this issue.

    • Sj

      Squeee! My LTT/LTR tee arrived today, just in time to wear it in secondhand support for Moon & UC. It is a little cool for jorts now though, unless I pretend to be 14 and wear purple stockings under them. And then face a work memorandum about appropriate workplace dress. It will be worth it.

    • TeamSeth

      WAIT! I just realized that UC and Mooon are going to be–for certain–wearing MATCHING outfits. Like Edward and Bella on the meadow day!

      I hope that it’s matching Tweed Serious LTT shirts… with serious glasses that allow them to ask serious questions.

  • I’m just glad it’s not me. I’d actually find the nearest crater-hole and throw myself in.

    Hmm… Is that reassuring? No?

    Oops. I’m sure you two will be just fine. 😉

  • StotheP

    Ha! LTT has taught me well – I am MANAGING my EXPECTATIONS for this interview!

    What does that mean? It means I’m completely confident you guys will plan some great original questions for Stephenie and none will begin with “Are Rob & Kristen . .” or end with “. . dating?”

    (Or, if you DO ask that question, it will at least be in an original way. Like, surrounded by a thousand empty little bottles or while restrained by a khaki straight jacket)

    You’ve got this. And all 450,000+ of us can’t wait to watch you bring it home. Winky face!

    • oh em gee.

      • StotheP

        EYE KAY, ARE?

        • eatmyjorts

          Double you tee eff?

          • StotheP

            Ell oh ell!

  • LoveSpelledBackwards

    UC, your post was brilliant and hilarious, proving once again, that you and Moon were destined for this. No matter what happens, it will be amazing, and over very soon. I am already proud of you both~ Best wishes.

  • Those bitches at twifans have NOTHING on you girls!

    Oh and question- do you plan to bring an LTT/LTR shirt to Stephanie? Just wondering because she would probably really enjoy the “dont want you to come” shirt or maybe a special sparklepeen shirt for Stephanie?

    • Stacey

      I agree with Rachel about bringing Stephenie a LTT/LTR shirt! That would be a perfect gift!

      I am still trying to figure out how to buy one without my husband figuring it out.

      • just go for it! I did. my husband doesnt even look at our bank account 99% of the time. He did see the shirt though. He said “whats this tshirt? I dont get it” I said “its for twilight” he said “ok whatever” and rolled his eyes. I win!

        • Stacey

          You do win!

          I wish he didn’t check the bank accounts, but he’s a CPA. It’s in his DNA. sigh I will come up with a plan! (Ahh…positive thinking!)

          • TeamSeth

            Do you have a paypal account? I think you buy through that… does it leave the same “paper” trail?

          • Stacey

            I think Paypal has a paper trail. I have to come up with something creative. Like giving a friend cash and having her buy one for me. Once I have it, then he’ll never notice.

          • lilmisscan’tbewrong

            Yeah, mine’s a cop. So while he may not notice the credit card bill, he will definitely spot the new shirt and then go digging for evidence and demand a confession!

    • snowwhitedrifted

      They are bringing something from the store. It’s very appropriate for her. I got 2nd hand nervous when I realized that Stephanie will then own something I drew. *cue inner squeeeeeeee!!*

      • awesome! you will be connected forever! because LTT tshirts dont decompose. just like vampires. (ew)

      • I’m just messin’! That is really really cool and I cant draw so Im jealous. I got the “bears” t. Did you draw that one? 🙂

        • snowwhitedrifted

          Yes (drew them all). My daughter calls the bears one “The Mean Mommy Picture”. She might need one for preschool. :0

          • TeamSeth


      • unlikelyfangirl

        So cool. Can I ask which one? Mine arrived last week and I LOVE it! I do not own any other twi paraphernalia but I felt I must proclaim my LTT love proudly across my chest (where it belongs). Really nice design work!

      • TeamSeth

        Squee loud and proud on that one, girl! Your drawings rock hard. (the simplified Tweed Serious is in the mail! Thanks for changing it up for me, you’re the bestest)

      • Stacey

        They are really wonderful! You are a very talented artist. The other bloggers will be jealous when UC and Moon present Stephenie a gift with your designs on it!

        • snowwhitedrifted

          Awe, thanks so much, Stacey! It was easy to come up with visuals for all the funny stuff that is said on here and created by UC and Moon. I have never seen so many witty- non catty (snarky is fine) women in one place!

      • Lovintherain

        I got my Tweed Serious shirt last week, and I love it! I wore it out and about this week, and didn’t have to worry about any 1st hand embarrassment. My husband saw it arrive, said what’s that, I said a new shirt. He said cool. No clue. Love it.

        • TeamSeth

          Oh, which tweed one?! That was my thinking behind getting the tweed shirt. I’m glad to hear that it works 🙂

          • Lovintherain

            I got the plain tweed serious in cap sleeves. And, I even wore it with jorts….no fanny pack. Not a twimom. Swear.

    • we have some gifts! fingers crossed they get here in time!!!

      • oh & we’ll share which gifts after the gift giving occurs!

        • TeamSeth

          And by “after” you clearly mean live on the ustream cast you guys will be filming (if it has to be undercover, so be it.)

  • Aw, UC. Calm down. You and Moon have been writing this fantabulous blog for the past 1.5 years about emo teenage vampires and you can’t think of what to ask to the person who created those characters? C’mon, have some faith in yourselves girls!(Sidenote: Do I sound like an annoying overly optimistic person or what?) If it helps, go through the books at a glance and you might come across something to question about.

    Hand sanitizer is definitely a good idea in case Rob shows up. He told Access Hollywood’s Shawn Johnson (when she ran her hands through his hair for the third time in 2 years, lucky b*tch!) that his hair is all greasy and disgusting. So in case you wanted to check the hair for the “terrible infestation of nits”, it’s better to be safe than sorry 😉

    Finally, I gotta say that I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I would have gotten panic attacks if I were you and would have probably embarrassed myself in some way or other in front of her. BUT you guys aren’t as pathetic as I am, which is why you can write this awesome blog and which is why Stephenie wanted to meet you. Isn’t this fact enough boost your confidence?
    Remember this, we ALL are with you two in this *starts singing HSM tune ‘We’re all in this together’ minus sweaty and gross ZEfron.*

    Ask Stephenie to write about Kaure and how she filmed Edward and Bella’s skinny-dipping.

    • kitkat

      Thumbs up for the high school musical reference. Thanks to my little sister (and my own dorkiness) I am full of cheesy songs that I burst into way too often. (What time is it? Summertime!)

      • lilmisscan’tbewrong

        There’s nothing wrong with bursting into song at random times! I would live in a musical if I could. (Preferably Breaking Dawn-The Musical…..well, maybe not.)

  • Sj

    Dear UC – Fantasy pants, bleugh.. got sucked into buying a pair and wore them once. I couldn’t even bring myself to give them to the op-shop because I thought that would be just mean. The pockets were awesome though.

    Whatever Thursday brings (sedative ODs, shoe pride, the start of a beautiful friendship, earthquakes) it will be epic, you will blog all the glorious details (pretty please) and we will all love you & Moon. Just remember to breathe. And ask questions. And smile and laugh politely and appropriately. And wear clean underwear (bikini bottoms ok in emergency). Learn from Gil, take anti-perspirant. Check for earthquake warnings. Remember sunglasses in case you want to pull off totes cool biotches look. Yep, that’s about all I’ve got to offer in advice.

    Have fun!

    • Sj

      PS If Moon does fall into earthquake crater and you need me to stand in, can she do it soon cause it’s a long flight from here & I’ll pretty much have to leave now. Taxi to airport on standby, just letting you know.

  • Nadia737

    Steal a Valium from a friend’s nightstand-it’s what Rob would do:


    Seriously, You’ll be fine. And it doesn’t matter if you have a list of questions prepared or not-just go have a normal conversation with the woman-I’m sure the questions will pop in your head naturally. You are moon and UC after all! If anyone should be nervous about this interview, it should be Stephanie!

  • Ish

    Please dont mention midnight sun.

    Then she might give you brownie points for being the only ones who don’t, and allow you guys to have first read of final last edit (dribble slobber… have to stop as lost control)

    • eatmyjorts

      Please write ‘Don’t mention Midnight Sun!’ on the back of your hand with a sharpie. Ish is right, definite brownie points.

      • Ish

        better yet use Professor Umbridges Fountain pen!

  • chochang

    i’m not gonna say anything about the meeting coz i know u girls are gonna figure that out soon. or are probably going all crazy right now from all the pressure of having to figure things out.

    instead, lemme just direction everyone’s attention to UC’s wallpaper.. http://letterstotwilight.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Screen-shot-2010-06-15-at-12.00.22-AM1.png

    there’s someone wearing plaid.. could it be…? ..oh yes i think it could.

    • lostrosebrown

      You are VERY observant. On closer examination…plaid and a white t-shirt…huh, wonder what THAT could be?

      • chochang

        UC and Mr. Choice perhaps? or Rob and UC photoshopped in? either. 🙂

    • haha WHOA good catch.. that’s actually my desktop background courtesy of snowwhitedrifted our tshirt designer. let me find it….
      Twi Cast in LTT-wear
      Yep- that’s the Twi Cast wearing shirts from the LTT_LTR store!

      • snowwhitedrifted

        *confession* I needed some non-commercial decor for my (all girl) Eclipse dinner party, so I added some text and had that colage made into a banner through work (and it cost $9- cheaper than even some twi-magazines!). I’ll be sure to take pix for your 2nd hand embarassment pleasure.

  • chochang

    meanwhile.. (and i hope it’s ok to embed this here, madam UC), this is proof that MTV may be reading LTT. goodness! hearing Rob say “Leg Hitch” made my day.

    Movie TrailersMovies Blog

    • Michelle

      Agreed…and hearing HHH say “it’s a bit saucy for Twilight”…

      I died.

      I may love lil’ Davy more than the DILF after this…

      • lilmisscan’tbewrong

        Love Davey more than the DILF? Sacrilege! (But I might have to agree!)

  • lapushbaby

    As much as I hate sounding like the batty old matron that I am….when you go to the interview, you have to just Be Yourself!!! Because then of course she will love you, you are irresistible. Duh.


    And beforehand, watch that youtube video of the little girl Jessica doing her daily affirmations in the mirror: “I can do anything good!!!”

  • Allryans

    Deep breath. Just remember … You are the normal ones in the room.

  • Anon

    Ask her what the heck Esme does with all her time during the day when Carlisle is at work and the “kids” are at school?

    • Lovintherain

      Continuously redecorates the house, of course.

  • Sue G.

    Just be yourselves and you will make all of us proud. You two are by far the funniest girls around! Relax and have fun, and it will all turn out great in the end!

    Enjoy Stephenie!

  • chochang

    have you all watched this clip from MTV? Rob talks about the Leg Hitch scene..


    p.s. i felt like i needed to embed it.. so i hope that’s ok.

    • chochang

      arrgh didn’t embed. anyways..

    • Squee! It IS saucy, Rob!

      • chochang

        and raunchy! *wink wink*

  • I’m so thrilled for you guys I could puke FOR you! I will vomit for you on your interview day you you don’t have to worry about it.

    • Obava

      Good girl, Katie S- take one for the team!

    • TeamSeth

      Oh, sign me up! I already checked that one off the list today.

  • thischickrunswithvampires

    Go for the hug! The hug! Just end it before it gets awkward and she begins to pat your back, saying “o-kay…” and tries to pull away.

    I’d want to chain myself to her – “Thank you, thank you, thank you for dreaming up EDWARD!!!”

    I hope you two have an amazing experience. I can’t even imagine. Meeting the movie stars would be cool, but meeting the creator of it all – PRICELESS!!!

  • I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS to you two…you are so very lucky and you will do an excellent job interviewing Steph. I’m sure that you’ve had a ton of great suggestions for questions from your fans and even if inspiration hasn’t struck yet, I’m sure that at the very last possible moment before Stephenie Meyer walks into the room, you will find your voice.

    Or not. Actually, it usually doesn’t happen that way in real life, does it?

    I would get to cracking on filling in those blanks.

    (Seriously, you will do GREAT!)

  • Ashley (Blonde Alice)

    Ok. So. If you panic and can’t think of a question, you turn around like you’re coughing….grab the handcuffs….and handcuff her to you while saying “I’m NOT unlocking you until you give me an answer—and you know what I want—MIDNIGHT SUN.

    For realsies…she has the insights to the character’s minds. INSIDE of their minds more than Rob or Taylor.
    –Stephenie, would Edward still love Bella if he couldn’t read her mind? Or is it the mystery that he loves about her? He already can’t resist the smell of her blood…

    –Why DO the vampires sparkle? Is it really a “warning” coloration? Or does she just know that girls love sparkly bedazzled things and applied it to make the characters more appealing?

    –Sex scenes. (Ive read on the website) but HOW on earth is vampire sperm viable after 109 years? It’s not fair that the girls can’t change, or get pregnant, but the guys can still reproduce? What would the function of that be other than to mate with humans, which they clearly haven’t before Edward and Bella. (Maybe it was just for the story)

    –Isle Esme? IS it a real place and can you have the interview there?

    Ohh. P.S. You guys HAVE to bring her something silly. She needs a Quileute Jortspack shirt, a quop kilatway shirt (sp), seeing as how she’s so team jacob!
    Make yourselves silly and funny and stand out just like we know you! She’s experienced too many serious interviews in her day. A little LTT will shake up her life, and hey, maybe even convince her how much the fandom needs her to finish Midnight Sun!

    Maybe you guys want to take my jorts to have her sign? Haha.

    You’ll be fine 🙂

    Ash xo

  • Sonata

    I like the little smilie face at the bottom of the page. 🙂

    Let the other websites as the ‘serious Twilight questions.’ You all ask what we “really” want to hear– like:

    how badly does she want to poke her eyeballs out with a dull fork everytime she has to answer, “Well, actually, it all started from a dream…” or “no, I don’t have Midnight Sun locked in a vault in my house.”

    We want to know what she was smoking, snorting, shooting or popping when she wrote Breaking Dawn.

    Did Carlisle swim the Atlantic or ride on a boat when he came to America?

    What is her secret fanfic account that she writes under?

    Why do the Cullens fly commercial? seriously.

    Why, if she is a stay-at-home-mom loving housewife, does poor Esme not have any more lines or a backstory in the books (I think she is the only one who doesn’t).

    Why doesn’t Alice play the lottery?

    • TeamSeth

      Oh, but I know the answer to the last one! They play the stock market instead of the lottery. I think Edward says that in Twilight… or something, it’s how they explain how they have perpetual money.

      If they always played the lottery and won, people would stop buying into it and so there’d be no money left to win (or go to education!), OR it would draw a lot of attention to their family if Alice kept winning over and over.

    • TOTALLY ask her the fanfic question. I’ve only read two – one I couldn’t get into AT ALL (don’t even remember what it was called and it made me feel all icky b/c there was no story, just icky sex (not that sex is icky, just this sex was) – I read for about five minutes until I had to go listen to NPR to regrow the brain cells that had just seized up and died) and one was really good (Wide Awake, the censored version) and am resisting getting sucked into more. Of course, if I knew what SM wrote, well then, I could justify the dishes piled in the sink and the kids still in p.j.s at 2 p.m.

      UNRELATED – I’ve been reading here for about year and commented for the first time when UC and Moon announced the BIG NEWS about the SM interview – now I can’t stop commenting!! (Believe me, the four or so comments I’ve made in the last month or so are a LOT for me.) So, what’s the deal? Will I ever be able to stop? Am I now an LLT-er? I never thought I’d EVER be a regular visitor to a fansite – what has happened to me???

      Thanks to everyone for making me feel normal – cause I’m pretty sure what we’re all doing here isn’t normal, even if we are.

      • TeamSeth

        I noticed you yesterday and wanted to comment on how cool your name is (no sarcasm involved, i really do love it), but it was already late and I didn’t think you’d see it, so I didn’t comment.
        Anyway, no, I don’t think you’ll be strong enough to stop. 😉 (hopefully not, because “I had to go listen to NPR to regrow the brain cells” is pretty hilarious and I’d hate your comments to be taken away)

      • Stacey

        I love your name too!

        I just started writing last month and I only read the Twilight books and watched the movies in March. I don’t think you’ll be able to stop. I have just been doing it more and more. It’s a nice distraction from cranky toddlers, babies and work.

        What can I say? Everyone here is so funny and cool, that it’s like, “my own brand of heroin.” Oh boy, I completely just went there.

      • Luludee

        No Cool Name, LTT is your life now.

        Keep commenting!! 😀

    • Ezzie

      Your questions are great, I hope they ask a few of them. I especially like the fanfic question, but I’d also want to know her opinion of fanfic not written by her: has she read any, what does she think…etc.

      We all know the basics and we all want a fun interview, so I hope they get creative in their questions. Oh, and they have to provide a play-by-play of everything! Video would be good, too!

  • I love your freaking out! I feel bad, don’t get me wrong…and I am totally loving you both this week in support, but this freak out, made me feel like less of a freak for my freak outs! And I am not even meeting Smeyer! I just naturally am this way all the time, esp about travelling. Welcome to my awesome world. Klonopin is to on your left, vodka (or gin for you) is on the right. STOCK UP, it’s gonna be a freaktastic ride!

    PS you both will be great, organic, natural and awesome. I have no doubts. I also know this pep talk would not work on my freak out, so I will now stop typing

  • snowwhitedrifted

    When in doubt, bring baked goods. They are a great ice breaker.

    …and listen to a good “pump up” song before you see her.

    She already likes you guys because you’re cleverness makes her laugh. It’s always more easy to open up in front of funny people (just look at the shizz we say on here because you guys make us feel like it’s “a safe house”). I bet you’ll be more at ease than you think.
    Can’t wait for the breakdown!

    • Pump up the jam, pump it up, a little more…!

      *having a Technotronic moment*

      Join me!

      • snowwhitedrifted

        That song reminds me of the Doogie Howser episode when he is sort of dancing to it, in his big goofy tennis shoes. He was going to go to a dance or get it on with Wanda or something.

    • Luludee

      Can Marky Mark help?

      Good Vibrations!

  • TeamSeth

    Honestly, all you need to do is say, “You’re welcome for the laugh lines, lady.”

    And don’t be like me a drink a bottle of wine the night before… BAD IDEA.

  • Bring cupcakes. I have yet to meet a woman that cannot be tricked into friendship with cupcakes. You can always include 1/2 grinded xanax into the recipe to ease the atmosphere. Rob would approve.

    You ladies will do great! I’m sure the questions will come spontaneously.

  • The Old One

    May I suggest a glitter lube instead of sanitizer handshake to break the ice?

    I just know Steph has a wicked sense of humor under that calm exterior, and you guys are going to bring it out. Can you take a recording device, cuz you know you’ll never remember everything that is said and won’t be able to take coherent notes! No wait, of course you will, you’ll be so calm and collected!

    The one burning question for Stephenie: Did she actually write “fully realized” love scenes between Edward and Bella, and then edit them for the final draft?

    Oh, and I can’t wait for the movie, even if I probably will wait to buy it when it’s in the bargain bin. You know Julie and Julia was about a blogger and the object of her fixation Julia Child. “UC and Stephanie (and Moonie)-The Movie” — Steph can play herself. Who will play UC and Moon? Anna Kendrick as UC and Carey Mulligan as Moon? She can do a California girl accent, right?

    Just have fun, and know we’re all so second hand jealous!

  • itsallhappening

    Good luck Ladies – you will do so great…you don’t even need questions, just bring the LTT flask and it will be an amazing interview! Stephenie needs a good laugh and that is why she rigged the drawing so you could come share some funny with her!

    Have the best time, can’t wait to read all about it.

  • Ladies, I have to admit that I am actually more interested in SM’s life than Rob’s or Kristen’s or whoever. In that light, ask her how fame and fortune have affected her life. I’m curious. Does Nacho get jealous of her writing (fantasizing, let’s be honest) about superhot dudes, or does he just count his lucky stars that their retirement is all taken care of and enjoy the ride? Do crazy people stalk her and show up at her ward (church congregation) and try to ask her inappropriate questions during Sunday School? Does every guy she ever dated at BYU claim to his friends that he was the inspiration for Edward (not that she’d know that)? And, Midnight Sun aside, any chance we’ll get more of the whole saga? There was a whole lot in BD that could easily set up more books – Jacob and Renesmee creepiness, something about some South American Vampires…right? Wasn’t there? I read BD about a year ago, only once and now I can’t remember many of the details, but I do remember thinking there were a lot of avenues SM could take with future books.

    Also, does it make her sad that no one seems to care about The Host?

    • Stacey

      I had forgotten about The Host. I think a question about it would be good. For instance, “Is Ian Somerhalder still going to be in the movie?”

      That would be a huge favor for me. Not that I am going to stalk him or anything. (I already did that when I was in college)

      Nacho and retirement…hee hee…good one!

  • Its no irritable grizzly…

    White collared shirt, tan sweater over it is the way to go ofcourse.

  • JodieO

    What if I PUSHED Moon into a big crater in Cali? Then would you pick me to go with you to do Rob? I mean Steph? Err, I mean.. *interview* Stephenie?

    Not that I would ever do such a thing..

  • j9necessary

    Soooo excited for you and Moon! Just thinking about it makes me want to squee…..I may have to break out the Depends (for when my mother-in-law visits and forgets to bring her own supply)! Don’t worry about what to wear…Steph doesn’t seem to have much fashion sense from what I can tell (judging the pix I’ve seen of her and the clothing she wrote for Bella to wear)! I’m sure whatever you finally decide to wear and ask her will be great and we (your LTR/LTT) chicas will be proud of you both!

    Go UC and Moon…(fist pumping, jumping up and down and generally whooping it up) WOO-HOO!!


  • TeamJorts

    I can’t wait to read your write up, even without prepared questions you’ll do fantastic! How exciting! Good luck!

  • Owning It

    Obsessing over the outfit while procrastinating on the ‘homework’ — truly a girl after my own heart!! I have no doubt that you do your best work under pressure, and you will ‘dazzle’ and entertain Ms. Meyer as much as you have all of us loyal readers. All the best to you and Moon on this incredible opportunity, and we all are so looking forward to a full breakdown of your trip!

    • Owning It

      Of course, after choosing my new avatar picture, I realize that nothing says ‘Good Luck’ like KStew flipping you the bird! Perhaps I should reconsider my photo choice…

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