Dreams about Twilight and other fun things to share

Alice & Bella: BFFs

Dear Twilight,

The other day I got the best Facebook message from one of my very favorite people in the world: Mexi-girl (she was one of the very first friends I talked about here on LTT, and I honestly forget if that’s what I named her way-back-then- but it’s gonna stick now. She dated not one but TWO guys from Mexico so she deserves the title. That or “Mexi-slut” Whatever. But anyway- cute side story: Way back when when I mentioned her it was because she was meeting her new boyfriend’s sister & she hoped SO TERRIBLY they’d connect like Bella & Alice. I don’t think they did. BUT she did marry the guy (he’s not Mexican. I know you were wondering. We’re all a little disappointed) Oh- I FOUND the letter I posted from her. and I called her LL? WTF? I was wayyy lame back in LTT 2008 Days)

Anyway- sidenote over. Mexi-girl-formerly known as LL sent me this message:

I know you’re in the dirty Jerz, but i need to tell you about my dream. It’s the 6th edition to the Twilight series, and I just know it’s going to be a hit…You’ll have to pass it to Stephanie.

Opening scene: I’m at my parents house, but my parents are not there. My brother Bill is. We know the bad vampires are closing in fast. Kurt (oldest brother) gets home right in time and we lock the door behind him. He’s got some whore-chick with him dressed up in a cheerleading outfit (not sure why) and it’s clear from the beginning that she’s the nonessential character that will be the first to die. We start to collect all the water we can, filling pots, pans, bottles knowing it’s our only weapon against them (again, not sure why…shrug) But they’re outside now, and they’ve cut off our water supply, damnit!

Where the hell is Edward? He was supposed to be here by now to save me! I’m sending him nonstop mental messages and getting flashes of him moving realllllly fast through trees like he tends to do. Now the bad guys are in the basement and Bill happens to be down there too because he was trying to get the water turned back on. I have no choice but to lock him in the basement with them and save the rest of us upstairs. Damnit again! The cheerleader bitch was supposed to be the first to die! WTF? That’s when I wake up, because things are getting twisted.

Never got to touch Edward’s stone cold face, never got to have post-vampire-killing victory sex and break the bed. Overall, a total let down of a Twilight dream.

As amazing as her Twilight dream was, that is kinda the second side-note of today’s letter. Because what happened NEXT is what really needs to be discussed. She asked me:

Um be honest….Have you had a Twilight sex dream? Was it with Edward or Jacob?

And I had to admit………

I have not!

Do you think adding this to my bedroom wall might help me with my Twilight dreams?

Currently I’m working on two web-design projects & literally every night I have dreams about how to optimize SEO and where I should put the “a name” anchors. How in the world, after almost THREE years of blogging about Twilight and Edward and Jacob (almost) daily, have I not had a sex dream about one of them? Not even Emmett or CHARLIE or anything. And forget SEXUAL dreams, I don’t think I’ve even had a “Walking around Forks High naked and running for my life on a never-ending trail and really really really close to not passing a test and therefore not graduating on time” NORMAL dream involving any of the Cullens (or Blacks)

I have, however, had sexual dreams about church Elders at my church growing up (don’t make me say it again). There was that one with UPS guy we had for a couple years at work. My neighbor has starred in them not once but TWO times (not cute. at all) and then there have been the ones about women (is that weird? Moon wouldn’t answer me when I asked…) but NOTHING about Twilight.

I feel jipped. I feel like I’ve dedicated so much time to the saga the least it could do was give me a little something back, ya know?

I know we can’t control our dreams, but I really want to try. I mean.. I think I do… It would be pretty nice to be breaking headboards with Edward while my head is safely on my pillow. And I wouldn’t mind living out the one time I had that fantasy about Jacob in Eclipse while I’m getting some R&R.

So to the Dream gods or to my brain or my subconscious or whatever: Give me SOMETHING tonight PLEASE! Cause if I wake up with one more good idea on how to best optimize the 4th least important page on this website, imma go Jackson on you (that’s throw you against a piano and attempt to suck the life out of you- that is until we make love on the broken piano keys. I’ll still be in my dream-state)

Love,
UnintendedChoice

So your time to confess: Any sexy Twilight dreams? You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone. And +27 points if it was with a 2nd-tier character like Sam Uley or Harry Clearwater!

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