The Cullen/Swan Wedding Reception

Dear Bella Cullen’s Wedding Reception,

Having just got married, oh, last weekend, I’m “down with the kids” on this whole wedding thing. I mean, I even sported the Bella barrette before you made it popular (and don’t pretend Alice didn’t steal the idea from ME!

"I'm crying because I'm so moved you used my hair barrette just like Team Seth did with her mom's hair barrette in her wedding, which happened before yours."

I know Alice saw me make my decision to wear my mom’s hair barrette before I made it. Then she STOLE the idea. Right out of my head. She’s supposed to use her powers for good–or is that witches? Too many vampire shows.)

Anyway, back to the letter… So, recently TeamJacobEdward emailed me back from the slathering of wedding photos I sent her and closed the email with: “PS did Jacob show up and steal a dance before he attended you to Edward Mr. Seth?”  [Don’t you just love her for using the word “attended”? I know I do.]

Her postscript got me to thinking.

For the weeks leading up to the event, I joked about how I wanted Murray Gold to come and stop the wedding in one of those over-the-top elaborate, only-happens-in-the-movies kind of ways; profess his love for me after speeding from the airport, drenched in rain all The Notebook sex scene style… You know, that sort of thing.  (if you don’t know who Murray is, go here for an impertinent informational interview)  But when the day came, as NatteringYeahRobber predicted, I didn’t think about Murray at all! (which is actually *not* true since I played one of his songs in my ceremony, thus his name was on our program…Murray will live on at my wedding forever! *does the Vincent Price laugh* (which was ALSO at the wedding via “Thriller”))

But I didn’t think about him coming into the wedding and sweeping me away–or cutting in for a dance or even just surprising me by showing up. I was caught up in the evening, having fun and eating the delicious cheese ravioli, dancing to the great New Wave that our DJ dropped and drinking porters.

Unlike Murray at my wedding, we know Jacob DOES show up to steal a dance with the bride. Sure, it will be exciting and emotionally moving, if not a little awkward.  But do you really want that?

If I can't come, Bella, I don't want you to come!

Let’s think about it. We all know I’m a fan of Jacob and like him better than Edward—but not for Bella. Bella and Edward are perfect for each other. Jacob is not compatible with her (just her egg?) and thus it’s not a good match. So, in Eclipse when he was all “And maybe even then.” after Bella said “Right. Until my heart stops beating.” in that sweat lodge bedroom of his, she should have thought, “Okay, we’ve made our peace. He’s gotten my admission of love and some mountain top tongue action. Neither of us died in battle. Now it’s over. I’m committed to Edward 100% and cannot wait to live my life with him, forever.”  So, when Jacob shows up all shaggy haired and disheveled looking to touch the bride’s shapely body and virgin white dress with his grubby little rejected twice-over hands, do you really want that?

You don’t.

"Remember when Jacob showed up disheveled at our wedding wanting to dance with you? What a lame-o!"

You want him to just do the mature thing and not show up at all. To call or email Bella saying he won’t be able to make it and he’s truly sorry, but he’s just not up for it. He wishes her and Edward all the best and hopes that they can stay friends moving forward. (And to give him a call when her demon fetus comes of age, so that he can finally get laid.) You don’t want him to make some covert just-off-to-the-side-of-the-dance-floor appearance to say his piece before fursploding off into the woods!  Talk about an overreaction to the water for elephant in the room!

The reality is, you want to be a happy occasion that everyone remembers fondly as being fun and pleasant. Sure there’s always the ‘problem person’ (one of my groom’s party members showed up to the ceremony completely wasted. It was…lovely), but if you had the choice of having that or not, do you really want that?

You don’t. You just don’t.

With Kind Regards,
Team Seth

ps-Do you think they’ll play a modified version of White Wedding that says “It’s a nice day for a pale wedding!” ?? (fingers crossed!)

pps-Mr. Seth always say “grubby little hands”, that’s why I threw it in there. Not because Jacob’s massive sexy lingering hands are grubby. Ahem. DH shout out! (teehee, I said DH)

ppps-It’s good to be back! (Said in my Damon voice, as heard in every single “Previously on the Vampire Diaries” from season 1)

Congrats on the new husband, Team Seth!! May your first year of marriage NOT include a baby that eats you from the inside out!!

Team Seth makes some great points…Jacob kinda RUINS the moment there…. I mean… not gonna complain when I see it on screen. Pretty sure I’m going to cry…. What about you??? Did your or does your dream wedding include “Interruption by ex/boy that COULD have been?”

OOPS: Last week, like an idiot, I said if you want to join us for an LTT part in LA in a few weeks (specifically Sunday 11/13) E-mail Us and included the email address for my work. TWICE. So, no- a hot tub company is not looking to throw a Twilight party in a few weeks, but WE are.. so E-mail Us if you’re interested!

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  • Anonymous

    Why am I always the first person to comment? Am I the only one who ignores her kid first thing in the morning, gulping coffee behind a laptop? Yes? Just me? Okay, fine. 

    This is the reason Jacob can suck it: he’s an immature idiot. And I *know*, he’s like 16 or whatever, but I…am not, and his immaturity is irritating. Never mind the weird demon!baby, or odd plot devices: the reason BD is close to intolerable is JPOV. Who wants to be inside the head of a self-pitying teenager? Nobody. Not even the actual teenager. (I sure didn’t when I was 16. *shudder*) WTF, SM?

    P.S. Saw pics; TS looked **hotness** in her Bella Clip Wedding. If I had had airfare, I would have shown up all shaggy and handsy. 

    • MariaCecilia

      Err, may I please remind you MNS that the rest of the books are from Bella’s point of view, so technically they are ALL from a (sometimes self-pitying) teenager’s point of view? 😉

      • Anonymous

        Excellent point.

        Still dislike JPOV. 🙂

    • Sisterpenguin

      I think you’re blessed with fast internet and the right time zone. 
      For some bizarre reason my patients aren’t that thrilled with me chortling over the laptop whilst I’m supposed to attend to their pain. Why don’t they heal like wolves? Why?

      • KStewBoy

        I’m always seeing the new posts with zero comments.  And who am I to make the *ahem* first move?  All I can say is that if I were a vampire and some wet-haired dog showed up to paw my bride I would be glad that I paid the insurance premium on the hall.
        PS: ‘fursploding’, really?

        • Anonymous

          Oh KStewBoy! Do you not know the awesomeness that is Cleolinda?

          (ctrl f “fursplode”, but really you should read the whole thing.)

          • KStewBoy

            Thanks MarbleNS – I can see that this is an important part of the LTT Dictionary Canon.

          • Sisterpenguin

            Thanks for the intro – more chortling and a timely update on BD (if I hadn’t finished it again last week that is)

      • MariaCecilia

        Some of us are in a whole different time zone, as you point out, and have to wait for the 3 o’clock coffee break to have a decent chance to comment. Why can’t you update like, say 3 AM – then I would get the chance to comment before going to work and attending important meetings and…stuff? (Being a self-pitying teenager here..)

    • ladyofthemeadow

      Yes you are often the first person to comment. I may be one of the first to read, being up and early in my eastern time zone, but I like to get the creative juices flowing through a combination of avoiding work, drinking coffee, and reading other replies before I throw mine in for good measure. So while you’re ignoring your kid, I’m pretending I don’t have a shitton of work in my inbox. We’re in good company, no?!

      • Anonymous

        GO TEAM!

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Have you ever been subject to the humiliation that is a group interview? It is terrible. If I ever get thrown in a room with a bunch of people who all want the same job ever again, I’m just going to walk. No job is worth that sort of humiliation and shame.

        But I did learn one thing. Don’t go first. Because basically, a question is asked, and you’ll answer, and then everyone after you will say “what she said PLUS I’d also do this.” The person at the end of the line wins. “I’d do all of that (except dumb idea by third interviewee to automate the position) plus lick your knees as you are suspending yourself upside down in my hotel room.”

        (Sorry Meadow, that image is still in my head – and no amount of vegetable chopping can get it out.)

        Always best to go last.

        • ladyofthemeadow

          WTF, a GROUP INTERVIEW? Oh, so applicants don’t waste 6 hours of the employer’s time with 1 on 1 interviews? Instead, 6 hours of the applicants’ time is wasted on an ineffective interview? I’m outraged.

          Don’t fight the urge to purge, Nat. Just let those knee-licking, man-suspending images float up your skirt and through your head until they say they’re done with you. Save your epidermis too! 

          • natteringyeahrobber

            More like 15 people in one small windowless room. Oh, and I forgot, there was a psychologist observer there as well. So DON’T ACT CRAZY, or in addition to not getting the job, you’ll be getting booked into county mental ward.

            Maybe the psychologist could tell, via my negative body language (gave my best Rosalie bitch stare to every other interviewee plus the interviewer plus the psychologist, plus I broke a glass salad bowl when they asked me to describe how resolve difficult situations with clients) that my sanity would not last long in that environment.

          • Anonymous

            “plus I broke a glass salad bowl when they asked me to describe how resolve difficult situations with clients”

            *swoony eyes at you*

          • MariaCecilia

            From now on, I will be sure to keep a set of IKEA glass bowls on hand so I can make my point when I’m pissed off at work!

          • TeamSeth

            Knee licking? Wait… did you finally go into Grunter’s office to see why he locks it after walking past your desk and grunting?

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Upside down knee licking…you know what they say, there is a fetish for everyone. *

            *well, this really isn’t mine**
            **i mean, i’d be willing to try it***
            ***more than willing ****
            ****ok it is my fetish, i’ll own it

          • Anonymous

            your knee licking is my Bo Peep thing. I don’t judge.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            Disqus won’t let me like this (probably because I’m on an antiquated browser and work won’t upgrade). But I do. The image of Rob in cute light blue dress and a sheep staff in hand… I might need to borrow your fetish from time to time.

          • TeamSeth

            That made me inappropriate giggle at work!

            Me and the DH were discussing Bo Peep JUST LAST NIGHT! #creepy

    • Anonymous

      You’re just right on top of it!  We’re just slackers.  I used to be a LOT better…. That should be my New Years Resolution:  better commenting on LTT…. That’s a good resolution, right?

      • Stacey

        I feel like a super slacker this week…and last week…a little the week before…

        I owe you an email! :0) 

    • Anonymous

      One kid I ignored and commented first thing in the morning, on the East Coast.  Then we moved west and I added the second kid and you get to go first.  But commenting during naptime instead means I get to be entertained by you as well as the post.

      • Anonymous

        I aim to please. 🙂

    • ChillinWithCullens

      Alright ladies, COME ON – we not only want Jacob there, we need him there. We have all seen the footage of basically everyone at the wedding, and (admit it) they ALL look terrible, even Edward. We NEED Jacob there, because he is the only male present we can look at without spewing all over the sidewalk.
      Everyone else = nauseating.  Jacob = still hot.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks CWC to speak the truth

  • MariaCecilia

    All totally true.We all know that the whole Jacob-at-the-wedding and Bella-getting-pregnant crap was only because Stephenie never COULD make her mind up over the whole Jacob-Edward-issue, but kept getting cold feet. That’s why BD is twice as long as the other books too, because she kind of had to let Jacob get Bella too, while still marrying her off to the hotter guy.

    So, why couldn’t she and Melanie sit down and write the REAL story of BD, where they get married, get it on, get it on some more, make Bella into a vampire, get it on vampire style and whizz off to Italy to faze off with the Volturi? Jacob already had his own movie, ABSduction, or whatever, so he can stay out of this one. Happy end?

    • Stacey

      That would be a wonderfully happy ending! Mostly, since it has nothing to do with Jacob falling in love with the baby. Couldn’t get the mom, so he gets with the newborn daughter. That is one way to give Jacob a happy ending, of course I can come up with some that will not be made into snarky comments when the movie gets reviewed by the critics. Those are going to be crazy!  

      • TeamSeth

        Or he could just have really hot sex with Leah… forever.

        • Sagalvr

          Thank you! Exactly

        • Anonymous

          Oh he can always have sex with Leah while waiting to Renesmée to grow up

          • Anonymous

            I mean for Renesmee no to

          • Anonymous

            I like the idea of Leah/Jacob Friends with Benefits. BOOK FIVE, HELL YEAH!

          • Anonymous

            Well it’s never gonna happen in Meyer’s world cos you know you have to make love to the love of your life and stay virgin until that (not that i am not ok with this), so yeah i would really like to see how jake’s gonna fill his nights/days/hands while waiting for her…
            Cos seriously, Leah and Jake ? Damn ! angry and sexy wolves always make sparks together and they’re nothing but mammals so they gonna do it like they do it on the discovery channel

          • Anonymous

            Do you think we can get funding to do this movie? My kid has a bunch of wolf stuffed animals. Does anyone have a Barbie and Ken? We can be like:

            Barbie: Jake! I hate you! Let me stay with you! Jerk!

            Ken: Leah! You are pissing me off!


            *wolf stuffies growl around. kissing noises and that Discovery Channel song blares on the soundtrack*

            Naked Barbie and Ken: Woah.

            Ken: Imma go see my girlfriend. Grab the diaper bag.

            Barbie: I hate Rosalie.

          • Anonymous

            lmao hilarious ! we don’t need funding though, we can film scenes with the dolls and add scenes from a SyFy show for the explosion
            hahahaha just imagining the scene excellent !
            Thanks God for fanfictions !

      • If I were writing it, Jacob would skip the baby and imprint on Rene.

        Cougar dreams cme true.

    • TeamSeth

      Fly off to Italy to take on the Volturi…. PROPHASE ON!

  • Anonymous

    The show up would have been lame in real life, but it’s fiction so yeah it’s great, plus it’s totally coherent with the characters : Jacob stubborn and always doing what he is not supposed to do as long as it pisses Edward and Bella still not wanting to let Jacob go.
    I was so happy to have Jacob POV cos Bella started to get on my nerves : okay we get it Edward is marblelly beautiful and his body is angelike ! Now tell us something new ! I don’t have patience with girls obsessionally in love, so it was a relief for me to hear Jacob.

    • TeamSeth

      I always thought JPOV was necessary since Bella is just sitting in the house for 1-2 months waiting to die giving birth and in excruciating pain watching football games over and over again with Kell–oops, Emmett. So, she didn’t really have a lot “new” that was going on.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah I always thought that life with the Cullens should be a little boring…

      • Anonymous

        DAY ONE
        baby’s kicks have progressed from nudges to uncomfortable blows to the gut. Emmett is making cracks asking me, asking if I’m sure if I didn’t just put on a couple pounds. Edward looked like he wanted to bite off Emmett’s head. Rosalie seems to know when I have to pee before I do, either her hearing is that good or Alice isn’t the only one in the family who can tell the future. Otherwise my bladder is not holding up as well as I thought. I heard that happened with pregnancy. Oh how embarrassing!

        DAY TWO
        Baby kicked so hard it left a bruise. Edward knew even though I tried to hide it from him. He looks so tortured. He doesn’t understand I’ll be fine. Carlisle cleared everyone our to do an exam, Emmett made a jibe saying it was because of my smell; I knew they could smell my gas. I don’t know what is more embarrassing about the pregnancy, that or the bladder thing.

        DAY THREE
        Baby kicked so hard against my stomach I threw up., then my bladder and I wet myself. It’sofficial, I have no dignity left now. Edward continues to look tortured like this is his fault… Or Maybe it’s my smell. I should take a shower.

        DAY FOUR
        Alice is ignoring me, Carlisle and Jasper are researching the baby, Rosalie has taken her job seriously and acts like a guard dog, Esme sits at her desk all day, Edward snaps at everyone, the baby thinks I’m a punching bag, I can’t sleep, there is nothing to do except listen to Emmett make super sperm comments. This is what I’m going to be doing for an eternity?? Tell me it’s not true.

        … You have a point.

  • Anonymous

    But it was Edward that really wanted Jacob to be there, for *ahem* Bella.

    PS Photos TS PHOTOS!

  • Anonymous

    TS, thanks for making me very nearly spray coffee on my screen when I read:

    “We all know I’m a fan of Jacob and like him better than Edward—but not for Bella. Bella and Edward are perfect for each other. Jacob is not compatible with her (just her egg?)” 

    That was awesome.  🙂

    I can tell you that having some vaguely, semi-similar thing happen at my wedding, and I can tell you, that you really don’t want that to happen in RL. 

    And I did totally gush over the pics TS shared with me.  She was super beautiful. 

    • Stacey

      You did?!?! You had a “Jacob” interrupt you wedding to your Jacob Edward!?!? Storytime, lady!

      • Anonymous

        Once upon a time TJE got married to the wonderful Mr TJE.  It was a beautiful day and everything went perfectly with absolutely no drama what-so-ever.

        Or so TJE thought.

        After the wedding day had passed (as to not ruin the day for me cause he’s awesome like that) Mr TJE told TJE about something that had happened at the wedding reception.  Mr TJE said that a guy that TJE had known most of her life, never had anything other than strictly platonic feelings for and family is friends with TJE’s family (we’ll call him “Jacob” for the intents and purposes here–gosh this does sound a lot like Jacob and Bella).  –anyway–  It seems that at the wedding reception, “Jacob” came up to Mr TJE and said, “Congratulations, you just married the girl I’ve been in love with since the first grade.” 

        MR TJE didn’t know what to say to that, but was pretty much, “WTF.”

        Now whenever TJE sees “Jacob” she feels kind of awkward and weird.  TJE had known when she and “Jacob” were younger he’d had an unreciprocated crush on her at one point, but had never realized it was a continued thing.

        In case you were worried, “Jacob” found reciprocated love elsewhere and is now married (NOT to one of TJE and Mr TJE’s daughters!!!) with a couple kids of his own.

        The End.

        • Stacey

          Yay storytime! :0)

        • KStewBoy

          Guys can be such tools.

        • Sisterpenguin

          Beware the wolf in family friend’s clothing…

    • TeamSeth

      Hehe. I opened up this page today and read UC’s bonus question at the end and thought, “Oh, yeah, TJE totally had *that* happen to her. Let’s see if she retells the story!” 🙂

      And you’re welcome. I spent my coffee drinking in a really long meeting with technical issues on the conference calling and webex connection and so we time wasted about 14.6 minutes fixing that crap instead of having the meeting. Plus the 1:06:49 meeting time. (I was sitting by the phone, it has a timer)

  • ladyofthemeadow

    I confess. I had my own Jacob (well, TWO of them) at my wedding. By that, I mean two ex-bfs. Actually they did all my music. And they were best friends with each other. I know, it’s all too incestuous. I was young and had no judgement.

    Uncomfortable thoughts did cross my mind at the point in the ceremony where the officiant says “Does anyone have any reason why these two should not be joined in matrimony?” Thankfully everyone behaved themselves.

    I just hope Jacob looks better at the wedding than he did when he showed up at prom, when he passed along Billy’s warning to stay away from Edward (which she summarily dismissed of course, like any teen on the receiving end of advice from an adult).

    I would happily be Jacob’s date at the wedding. I’d wear a killer sexy dress and heels that would put Rosalie to shame. I’d be big about his dance with Bella (and grab Emmett for a spin on the dance floor myself). Jake and I would have to leave early before he got too angsty. He would rip off his shirt, show me some abs, and then we’d go blow off some steam in the woods. You know what I mean.

    • Sisterpenguin

      “I was young and had no judgement”? Sounds more like young and had fun…

    • TeamSeth

      “We’d go blow.”  Yeah, I know what you mean.

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Oh I know you know 😉 and for that, I <3: you

  • Anonymous

    Awwwww, congrats Team Seth! Just one pic? You can put ribbons over your eyes…

    And, best wedding blessing ever: “May your first year of marriage NOT include a baby that eats you from the inside out!!” I second that.

    Sorry Jacob, but Bella is for Edward. I, however, am still single and totally ready to mingle. 🙂

    • TeamSeth

      I third that sentiment on the hungry baby.

      • TeamSeth

        Hm. That would make a good Doctor Who title… The Hungry Baby. Then it turns out that all the babies are aliens.

  • Stacey

    Ahem…pictures, my dear friend Team Seth. (I am waiting patiently, but since this feels like the first time I’ve been on the computer in weeks I will pretend the email is on it’s way.) More importantly…CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you and Mr. Seth! Bella just wishes her wedding and honeymoon were as wonderful as yours! Plus no rapidly growing baby and addiction to eggs to ruin the honeymoon. Yay!

    Alice probably always steals the good ideas from other people and never gives the proper credit. Oh that silly Alice.

    • TeamSeth

      Actually, we ate eggs Benedict basically EVERY morning on our honeymoon. And EVERY morning I thought, “He he.”

  • Anonymous

    OMELE…TEAMSETH, you GOT MARRIED!!!! Overflow of joy coming from me right now!! I so want to hear all about it, send me pics PLZ to my gmail addy…..
    UC/Moon, I WANT to come to the party!!! I also want to kiss Edward, but neither will probably ever happen, but you never know!!! After all I am still sleeping with Eddie every night 🙂 Just sayin.. So want to hear where/when etc., can you send me a message (so I can keep it to remind myself, lol)
    Ohhh TeamSeth, so very happy for you..HUGE HUGS…XOXO

  • natteringyeahrobber

    For those of you who don’t know, Murray Gold is a were-seal. He has a lot in common with Jacob: he’s a 40something composer with a brilliant sense of oddball humor who lives in New York City. Only difference is that sometimes he morphs into a seal. He is somewhat less adept at cliff diving than Jacob, though. He makes up for it in other ways — he can clap, compose moody time-traveling music, and eat 45 servings of squid at the same time!

    I was sort of hoping he’d show up at TS’s wedding. In seal form, of course. No disrespect to Mr. Seth – but a girl does need a sexy final fling, especially with a were-seal, during her wedding. Did you know that seals can hold their breath for one hour under water? Imagine the possibilities…”Just going to take a dip in the ocean Mr. Seth, it will help calm my nerves….”

    Probably best he didn’t show though. Guess the only 5000 gallon tank seat on Jet Blue was already booked.

    TS: image source is – maybe suggest to @murraygold to use as his new Twitter avi?

    • TeamSeth

      I just peed my pants. No wonder Murray was so happy during the hurricane…he finally could dive out his penthouse window and go for a swim instead of taking that pesky walk all the way to the bay.

    • TeamSeth

      Aha! So Murray IS Edward after all. For one hour at least…

      But warmer. Much, much warmer.

  • I dunno, I kind of think every wedding needs *that* person!  Otherwise, what else will we have to talk about/make fun of when the event is over?  I mean, talking about *that* person after Team Seth’s wedding (the drunk when they got there person) carried us fm my parents house all the way to the airport and it is HARD to get an hour long conversation out of my mom!  Just saying. 

    In 10 years when you look bck at it you can always say remember when…. and have a nice little laugh!

    • Stacey

      Absolutely, those memories are the greatest! I am glad the wedding went great!

    • TeamSeth

      Hard to get an hour convo out of mom? No way, just ask her about Patrick’s wedding.

  • Nelle

    I had a “Jacob” at my wedding. A drive by. We were all outside doing photos. I’ll never know if it was just a coincidence. Haven’t seen him since.

    Hey- did I miss something in the book? Are all the Cullen women and Renee wearing shades of purple to the wedding? I mean I’m Ok with it. Purple’s cool. Just don’t remember it from the book.

  • LOL Team Seth “Let’s think about it. We all know I’m a fan of Jacob and like him better than Edward—but not for Bella. Bella and Edward are perfect for each other. Jacob is not compatible with her (just her egg?) ”

    This makes me reiterate my above point: instead of crushing on the bride, I say Jacob puts the moves on Renee who is probably 4 champagnes deep, drowning out the fact that she’s of age to be mother-of-the-brde. She’ll be wanting to explore the burly possibilites, what better way than going cougar with an underage wolf?

    • Stacey

      Could you imagine the possibilities of Renee getting drunk at the reception and trying to pinch Jasper or Emmett’s behind. Irate Rosalie, giggling Alice and of course Renee getting all flustered over their hard physique. It would be brilliant, so it won’t be happening in the movie. Oh well.

      • ^ this sounds like an episode  fake celebrity email theatre!
        LET’S DO THIS. 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Completely unrelated- WHAT on earth is on the wall behind Renee and Charlie in the pic where they’re doing Bella’s hair? It looks like a human print wall paper. Is that a vampire thing? We have deer print wall paper, and they have human print wall paper?

    • TeamSeth

      HAHAHA! I originally wrote that into the photo’s caption, but then it was just way too long to include. I’m so glad you noticed lol

      And no, I have no clue what it is. But it’s not as pretentious as Chris Weitz’s pretentious scene in New Moon when Carlisle takes the glass out of her arm. #worthwatchingthecommentaryforhimandPeterLambert

      • natteringyeahrobber

        Sigh. I love that pretentious scene with my bitter heart. The sound of tiny glass shards as they are dropped one by one into the porcelain cup. How he holds her arm, almost like a lover.

        Details, TS. And damn you CW.

        • ladyofthemeadow

          Ew, frosty fingers. Remind me to skip the internal exam.

          • natteringyeahrobber

            I wonder if he warms his hands up before exams? Maybe just runs them under a hot faucet? Or maybe the rubber gloves he wears protect patients from feeling his ice cold fingers.

            Then again, on a hot day, it might be nice to get shock of cold. Refreshing, even. I mean, on a day he forgot to put on his wig and makeup. Otherwise, just disturbing.

            I’m sure there is something addressing this topic in the about the Journal of the Vampire Medical Association. 10 out of 12 patients prefer rubber, 2 love getting the ice.

      • Anonymous

        This is going to be like the blanket/bag of chips thing in Eclipse. Stephenie mentioned that debate in the commentary. Except in this case it probably will turn out to actually be human print wall paper…

        • TeamSeth

          For some reason it makes me think of that “Stand in the place where you are.” etc. Which is annoying and I shall now go listen to “Rolling on a Burning Tire” and think about David Slade’s long haired dachshund playing with Jack Morrissey’s old corgi.

  • I know this is off-topic, but you guys have to weigh in on this.

  • twiprof

    Team Seth! I love your letter! Your writer’s voice just jumps right out of the computer…and girl, you are funny! congratulations to you and mr seth…may you both post at LTT together. Thank you for making me laugh today

    • TeamSeth

      Thanks, twiprof. I’m going to do a shameless plug right now for my novel that’s coming out next month… 

      If you like my writing voice here, just wait until you read my novel On the Cusp of the Earth! It’s an epic love story littered with espionage, war, the deconstruction
      of the mind, and oh yeah, there’s a sexy car chase.

      • ladyofthemeadow

        Can’t wait to see it! Plug away shamelessly.

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