The time I wanted Jacob (or maybe I was ill)

Dear Jacob,

Something happened yesterday. I was listening to the Breaking Dawn Part 1 Soundtrack on Spotify, chatting with my pal, Marah, when I had an epiphany:

I'm sick. I think I'm attracted to Jacob

Marah: this soundtrack is kinda sappy. I mean, i don’t know what i expected but yeah
UC: I like the latter half.. it’s just.. so….so poppy
Marah: i’m going to assume the christina perri was written for the movie
UC: the wedding scene. the first dance? It’s SCREAMING that. Also: I feel like i might be really attracted to jacob in this movie . that is odd for me to say. i will write about this tomorrow.
Marah: oh my god seriously???
UC: i have no idea why
Marah: that’s horrifying
UC: i mean.. i think i have a fever right now. so maybe that’s why I’m saying this… but I also think it’s cuz.. well, Edward is all married.. he’s not attainable… and Jacob is… I could reach into the movie screen, grab him & make him mine. this is very weird… I’m feeling very weird
Marah: but YOU are married! and jacob is… icky
UC: i think i definitely have a fever. right? like.. this is the fever talking?? i mean.. i think right now, looking at my Spotify account.. streaming Breaking Dawn… seeing Edward & Bella all cozied up.. with Jacob alone.. he kinda looks like Damon from Vampire diaries.. the odd one out… the hot one i want…and i’m pretty sure THAT’s why I’m saying this.. cuz.. I couldn’t possibly.. right? like.. i don’t want jacob, right?
Marah: have you looked at his face? he’s no damon
UC: i think maybe i’m just looking at his muscles. and they FOR SURE have him standing on a box, so he looks so tall. like he’s standing on a big ass box.
Marah: i think there’s no way to like taylor lautner. like we can assign rob depth or whatever and he kind of backs it up. like ok maybe he would be okay to talk to, but taylor…I can’t make a distinction between Taylor & Jacob. And what’s to like about jacob?
UC: i don’t mean I’m into TAYLOR. ew. that’s icky. I just mean jacob. I kinda want jacob right now. Or my fever does….and i know taylor IS jacob, but i’d like to forget that for a moment and live in this fantasy where jacob is someone like Damon or… i dunno some other dark haired bad ass… {even though I think Taylor is a good jacob. a nice jacob. i never needed to be attracted to jacob.) Maybe it’s Rob’s Insurance man clothes. I mean Edward’s


So…. is it my fever? (Yes it will be gone before I come snuggle with you on Saturday, Moon) or am I on to something here? I know there is a HUGE group of people on Team Jacob. I know there are  HUGE group of people on Team TAYLOR.  I’ve never been one of those people. But Edward seems so…. married. And a BIG fan of Brooks Brothers. And I guess… I just feel kinda bad for Jacob. I mean, I know, I know.. he gets the baby eventually (yuck rephrasing- when she’s a big GROWN girl) but in the meantime, he’s one sad puppy.

And I want to cuddle with sad puppies. Maybe let them lick my face. Maybe they can spend the night at the foot of my bed.

Wow.. I really DO have a fever don’t I?


So.. is it the fever talking?  Am I switching Teams? Am I just looking for something new? Has Edward lost his allure since he’s all hitched & stuff so I’m on the one I can’t have? And EW I’m talking about JACOB here… not Taylor. Let’s make sure to remember there is a difference (in my head!)

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  • Dionrenee

    It’s a temporary fever, I had it until I saw Robward last night on David Letterman, insurance man clothes, not so much, he was looking hot!!  

    • Anonymous

      Damnit!  I missed Robward?  *kicks foot*  I need to start paying better attention.  I was so much better with catching him with the other movies.  #TJE fail

  • FastForward

    Fever must be contagious. Funny you write about this today. I had a dream some nights ago where I had a lot of fun with Taylor. Just a short, funny, sunny make-out dream. Lots of laughter. Loved it. It happened after I coincidentally had to see Abduction (the film we wanted to see had not started yet, and few alternatives, so I got lucky). The kind of dream I’m wishing for with Rob for years now and never succeeded. There was the one dream where his mother wanted us to marry, and it was really embarrassing, but still, doesn’t live up to the Taylor dream. Funny thing is, before all this Rob thing started, I never was into younger men. Like, ever. Now I don’t even wonder. Dream still makes me smile. And all your fault, because you recommended Abduction here! 🙂

    • jakesgirl

      LOL!  Lets not even get started about Twi-dreams “up in here”!  I’m pretty sure that officially makes you Team Taylor!  Welcome to the Cougar Club…..**was never into younger guys either**  what else does that say about Taycob??

    • jakesgirl

      LOL!  Lets not even get started about Twi-dreams “up in here”!  I’m pretty sure that officially makes you Team Taylor!  Welcome to the Cougar Club…..**was never into younger guys either**  what else does that say about Taycob??

  • KStewBoy

    UC, thanks for another great alias name: BigAssBox
    I lurve it.

  • Anonymous

    You know me, I’m totally team Taycob. And it is just for those reasons: Edward belongs with/to Bella. Jacob is available and adorable. I see nothing wrong with it.

    • Anonymous

      However, thanks to netflix now streaming Vamp Diaries seasons one and two, I’m almost through season one. But I think I’m more team Stefan. Although in the last episode I watched, where Stefan goes all blood crazy at the party, I was more team Damon. Hmmm, tough decisions, right?

      • You may want to skip Season 3 Stefan, then. 🙂 But you’ll be happy with S3 Damon 🙂

        • Sisterpenguin

          Mmmm, Damon… You can tell I’m dreaming about him, it explains the drool…

  • Robsessedgirl

    I actually love the soundtrack. Maybe I’m biased, but I think it’s fantastic and I can’t wait to see how they incorporate these songs into the movie. as for the rest of this post, I’ve always been an Edward girl. Always have, always will be. I don’t mind Taylor, but Rob is my favorite. Rob is just incomparable. I might just get that shirt for the midnight premiere. it’s perfect.

  • Michelle

    I can see your point UC…our lil’ Jakey has grown into something you wanna cuddle…and well Edward looks OLD so there ya go. In the movie clips though he (Eddie) pulls the look together better. The stills and promo pics are HORRID.

    I think they HAVE to dance to Flightless Bird again. I’m thinking Christina will rock it over the wedding ceremony which is sure to be montageish (is that a word?) with words here and there that are audible. 😉 My thoughts anyway…LOVE LOVE LOVE Christina’s song and want to cry everytime I hear it. SO perfectly worded for B & E.

  • Anonymous

    Well, it happened differently — but I kinda agree with you UC.  At first I thought you were listening to Breaking Dawn audio book — probably since I am listening to (commuting) — in prep for the 18th.  ‘m in the middle of Jacob’s book right now.  I don’t know if it’s the voice of the guy who’s reading Jacob, but he makes Jacob sound sooooo much better (to me) than what I’d imagined in my head reading the books — and not so teenager’ish as Taylor (and taller).  Jacob’s sarcasm comes across so much better, more believeable on the audio version.  And being a huge Book Edward fan, this has been a difficult revelation to accept — I actually like Audio Jacob.

    As for the soundtrack — came home to it already auto-downloaded from iTunes and have been listening to it ever since.  And (sorry Bruno) conveniently skipping track #3 every time.  Letting the songs sink in and like everyone so far trying to decide where they’ll fit in to the movie.

    I know Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Twilight) has been a huge favorite — how do y’all like the Breaking Dawn version so far?

    • Anonymous

      Hi Cyn!!!!!  Haven’t said “hi” in a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG while (bad TJE) but I’m waving now!!!!  🙂  And while I have come to post less so I probably miss you more, I do think about you.  How you doing???

  • The Old One

    Yeah, Edward’s all grown up, got his dad slacks on, his soccer-mom Volvo out in the driveway–who else is available?  Jacob, of course!  And I’m working through the books again, and re-reading Eclipse, which was my least favorite, was kind of a revelation.  When the Eclipse movie came out, I was all, Love Triangle? What Love Triangle?  But actually, there it was!  Bella almost chose him, even though he was kind of manipulative.  And Book Jacob is NOT Taylor.  Book Jacob became a 25-year-old completely mature man when he started phasing (yes, the book did say that!) AND he was taller than Edward AND he was really self-confident in a way Edward was not, which was very hot.  So he’s definitely gone up a few points in my book, but Edward’s still it for me.

    • jakesgirl

      You totally nailed it!  I’ve been “Jakes Girl”, alpha wolf girl and creator of a HUGE wolf fan site since long before it was “acceptable”.  Book Jacob is totally IT, yes very different than Taylor, but Tay deserved to keep the role after the effort he exerted for it, and because Movie Jake would have had to been CGI’d!  Summitt and Melissa totally downplayed Bella n Jakes relationship on the big screen!  Reread the Eclipse kiss, alone. Bella sees her life with Jake, their 2 little dark haired children, Jake has to “peel her off of him”  and break that kiss.  If done correctly  THAT kiss should have been the MTV  BEST KISS award. Twilight fan fiction is so popular because half of the fans went looking for a different ending!

      • Bubs

        Yes, yes, yes !!!! OK, I may be the last comment here [’cause I’ve just turned on my computer and I’m in Australia] but as the saying goes…Who would you prefer ???? A man who’s been dead, longer than you’ve been alive or a sexy HOT native American.

         Taylor “nailed it” as far as I’m concerned- God bless him. You haven’t got a fever UC, you’ve just woken up !!!!

        • Anonymous

          Well, I’m sorry there Bubs but I am completely TE and I just don’t get Taylor/Jacob… BUT… YAY another Aussie on here so HI!!!

          • Anonymous

            Ummmm sorry that comment was so lame, Imma little tired *yawn…..

          • Sisterpenguin

            Yay! Go Team Aussie. Except I’m banished to the UK but on ya love!

          • Anonymous

            Yay Sisterpenguin!  Nice to meet you :-))

  • How’s Jasper lookin’ in Breaking Dawn? I went #TeamJasper in Eclipse.

  • Sagalvr

    Keep that fever going~Jacob’s amazing! A hot wolf-man who loves you unconditionally, is very funny and charming and would do anything for you? Why wouldn’t you want that in your life?

  • Jakesgirl

    Awwwww UC – your fever for Edweird is finally BREAKING…you’re coming around to reality (the way Bella should have)  **Jakes Girl renames movie Breaking Fever**  You’re simply regaining your pre Twilife health. Jacob or Taycob is simply the healthy choice!  LOL  **glad you’re starting to come around..hugs new wolf girl**

  • Sisterpenguin

    *sigh* Again it comes down to book versus film. Jacob vs J-Abs°
    Jacob yes please! J-Abs I want to make sure he’s finished his homework and cleaned his room (shirtless)

    (°thanks Empire mag). 

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm, ok you may be genuine. But take it easy, Book Jacob isn’t as used to the screaming hoards like Book/Movie*whore*Edward is, and I don’t want anyone scaring him away.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, you really do have a fever.  There is no other excuse.  You’re going to reread this tomorrow and go “What was I thinking”? and “I can’t believe I put that on the internet”!  Jacob (movie Jacob) is a baby!  I don’t care how grown-up he is supposed be in the books (25 – whatever!) he acts like a spoilt brat and whatever is going on in your head today is NOT REAL!  There is no comparison and a true Edward-lover (oh yes I mean lov-errr) just couldn’t change like that.  Well not me anyway…

    • jakesgirl

      You are PERFECT, just perfect for Edward….and so is your screen name. All is right with the world.

  • Anonymous

    LOL – a fever would be appropriate since Jacob is hot (I’m talking about the fact that he runs at about 108º) and therefore if YOU are feeling hot, they just kind of… go… you know?

    *laughs at my own joke*

  • Anonymous

    Nah, I can’t remember ever having an issue with Jacob in and of himself.  (but it’s been awhile since I read the books so, I might be just forgetting any aggrivations with him)  Actually I really liked him.

    But it still comes down to the fact that he and Bella aren’t supposed to be together.  Edward and Bella are meant to be together.  Plain and simple.

    I get what Stephenie wrote in Eclipse, in another world where vampires and werewolves didn’t exist, Jake really would be perfect for Bella.  But that’s not how it is, they do exist.  Therefore, Bella NEEDS to be with Edward.  And that’s why I’ve always been strictly Team Edward.  It’s not that I don’t like Jacob, I really actually DO like him.  He’s just not Bella’s “one”.

    If that makes any sense

  • OH my goodness. The War of the Wigs tee is the first LTT shirt I’ve ever wanted. Man, I don’t think I would get it in time though for the premiere.

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