Unicorns: Where've ya been?



Dear Unicorns,

Oh where oh where have you been? Are you in unicorn land poking all the hottest female unicorns with your horn? It’s been so long since we’ve come across one of you reading Twilight to your son on a plane or wearing an Edward Cullen T-shirt to the gym. We miss you. Come back & visit us. Be like these guys:

Not Proper Twitiquette (but possibly okay during a Unicorn Drought)

A few weeks ago, I was at the local grocery chain, doing my weekly shopping. On my way out the door, I crossed paths with what I could only describe as a walking cry for help. A middle-aged, nerdy, rather-greasy man walked into the store, displaying his Twi-love for all to see. He wore a black Edward t-shirt, complete with quote, “What if I’m the bad guy?” His wife, walking in beside him, strangely had no Twi-gear on (unless she also keeps her Edward pin affixed to her bra). As you discussed, THIS is not proper Twitiquette. -Ldawg

Jacob’s into cars n’ stuff

Onto my Unicorn-in-Training story. After many months of plotting, I was finally able to convince my hub to just give the first book a try. Oh, it took many discussions on the merits of a teen, vampire romance as a metaphor for first love, forbidden fruit, all the rest. And a promise of some…erm…reward at the end if he finished it.

So, it was slow-going at first, but to my surprise, he actually seemed to be enjoying it; to the point when at night if I tried to talk to him in bed he told me, “honey, I need to read a bit.” Wow! Occasionally I’d get questions like, “What is Bella’s problem? One day she’s mooning over Edward, the next she’s pissed at him!” I even got, “Are they going to do more with Jacob in the others books? I really like how he’s into cars and stuff.”

When he finished the book, we had a truly meaningful discussion on it, and although he told me not to get my hopes up, he said he’s actually interested to see what happens next! Am I a lucky gal or what?! –Ldawg

Read more after the jump

They can fly!

Me – Wanna watch a movie?
Irish – yeah Oceans 13 is on tv – I haven’t seen that yet
Me – hmmmm
– I know what your going to say….
– Do you want to watch Twilight
– No i don’t want to watch that pile of dung
– It’s not a pile of dung, I want you to watch it so you know what I’m talking about
– you only watch it to perve – I find that disgusting!
– no i don’t grinning – I just want you to watch it so u know what I’m talking about
– I know what it’s about, Edward falls in love with some chick, then he says “what am I” and she says “Vampire” and then they fly through trees and go blah blah blah and then a pack of vampires tries to get them, but they don’t so Edward wins… and then in the next movie that fella turns into a wolf and I guess they fly through more trees. -Irish’s gal

Figure of speech

He had listened to me ramble on about the story line of the books while I was reading them, so he somewhat understood what I was reading about.  After watching the MTV movie awards with my friend, and screaming like a 13 year old the whole time – because let’s be real, that was like a 3 hour Twilight fest – I told my hubby I wanted him to watch the trailer with me. He obviously did not want to, but I swayed him with “Well you’re seeing this movie at least once with me in November, so you may as well know what it’s about!” So, he gave up and sat down on the couch to watch it with me. He was quiet for the whole thing until he sees Jacob running and morph into a werewolf. He then goes,

Holy shit! He actually turns INTO a wolf?! I thought that was like a figure of speech or something.


Bob the Macho Man

My friend, we’ll call him Bob, is a macho I-don’t-read-books-ever-especially-not-Twilight kind of guy, and he surprised me with a text the other day saying how he was really bored and saw his sister’s copy of Twilight laying around and decided to pick it up. Mind you, I had to pretty much drag him to see Twilight in November, although he did come out of it saying it was a good story.

A week after the first text saying he started the series, he texted me:

Well I finished the Twilight saga. Such a good book series.

I asked him if he was grossed out by the last book?

It was interesting to say the least. Jacob was pissing me off though until he imprinted on Nessie. It ended awesome tho. Makes me sad that I’m not immortal

He also said:

I do believe she should write more books. However I won’t read them right now. I read too much lately and another love story might do me in.

I asked him which book was his fav:

I would have to say Breaking Dawn. New Moon was my least but Breaking Dawn’s got everything in it. Love, suspense, all questions answered, fairy tale ending that makes your own life feel like shit. I mean, really, it’s not even a contest.

He went on to say:

I don’t know what I’m going to do with my time now. The book made me feel like life is so short though and fragile and that we have so little time. That’s reading into it- haha- but it does.


Oh My Stars

EastFriend’s Man: Anything exciting happen today?
: Um…oh my stars, Stephenie Meyer mentioned UC & Moon’s site on her own site today.
Her man
: Stephenie Meyer? The Twilight lady?
: Yes. Isn’t that amazing?
Her man
: Why hasn’t she mentioned them before now? They’ve been around for a while…she’s late to the party. Didn’t we know they were cool a long time ago?

Obviously EastFriend’s man is our new fav. #1 because he knew who “The Twilight Lady” was and #2 because he’s right. Steph was late to the party.

Searching for a Rob-icorn of my own,

Wednesday Goal: Go find the guy my dear friend, Jen, told me about- It was the lightening round on “Who wants to be a millionaire” (you know where you have to answer the fastest?) Question: Put the Twilight books in order. Only THREE out of TEN got it right. The winner? A dude. Yep. A real live Unicorn with a chance at willing a million dollars. Do you think he was wearing his lucky Alice Cullen wife beater? Get us a picture of him, preferably modeling his Rosalie whitey-tighteys. GO!

Read all about Unicorns here (are you new? Prob a ‘lil confused? Read our first Unicorn sighting here)

We love your Unicorn stories or stuff your guys say about Twi! Share them in the comments or e-mail us (oh- We’re like 3-4 weeks behind on replying to e-mails, so we PROMISE we will, but you might need to be a lil’ patient! SORRY!)

-If you’re new, our FAQs are a good place to start!
-If you’re like a sweet girl who e-mailed us yesterday with her Twi-virginity story, looking for new Twi friends, try The Forum BestFriendShips have been made there.
-If you just wanna laugh your ass off, go to Letters to Rob (hopefully Moon didn’t write one of those tear-jerker posts for today!)

Rob-icorn image by the brilliant Will at NewMoonMovie.org & EclipseMovie.org

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