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Breaking it Down: Meeting the Meyer, special hugs and SLOW CLAPS!

Dear LTT-ers,

Up until now it’s all seemed like a a dream. We really didn’t meet Stephenie and she really didn’t answer our questions, and we’ve just imagined all of this… but I think it’s now finally starting to sink in. At least now we’re starting to remember more and more of what happened. We even started breaking down some of the questions we asked Stephenie last Thursday and her answers (FINALLY!)…

Pretty much exactly what I looked like

Slow Clap or The Fraser Clap?
: I keep thinking of things that happened on Friday and then wondering if I’m making them up because or if it was for real. Like… when she told us she reads LTT every day- was that in a hushed tone like she was telling us a secret (or she was embarrassed) or does everything sound hushed when you’re so beet red after a Best-selling author tells you SHE reads what YOU write?
Moon: i dont know, i couldnt hear anything after i totally embarrassed myself with my semi-tard/brenden fraser clap (REMIX!) when she said she read us every day. i was 2nd embarrassed for myself
UC: you clapped? did you give us a slow clap & I missed it?
Moon: i did some sort of weird hand clap, grab i remember
UC: haha… i’m picturing you like Lumiere from Beauty & the Beast, how he shakes hands from side to side.
Moon: yea maybe i stood up (higher) and gave us a slow clap… then slowly everyone else got up and clapped because if we learned anything from the 80s, you cant resist a slow clap!
UC: right- no one knew what happened. It didn’t matter. When a slow clap starts, you don’t question- you just join in
Moon: you slowly stand and stop eating your muffin (twss) and you clap

*Begins Slow Clap*

UC: OR maybe it was  like Michael sheen when he claps his hands together when he says “Ah Beller is alive and well”
Moon: i defs quoted that when we talked about what a rockstar micheal sheen was
UC: haha… Beller is alive & well, Stephenie Meyer reads LTT *Slow Clap*
Moon: and then someone got their head and arms ripped off but i blocked that out. i went and got a slice of melon and a piece of bacon instead.
UC: there was BACON? were we at the same event?
Moon: you have to bring a sacrifice to lay at her feet when you meet. it’s just the rules
UC: i have no recollection of you sitting next to me eating a disgusting pig
Moon: yes there was bacon!!
a YUMMY pig
UC: oh dang- I vaguely remember an omelet bar too
Moon: bacon is a “gift from the gods” like jacob in new moon! TWI NERD QUOTE OF THE DAY! WINNER!
: but my 1/2 a strawberry seemed much more appetizing. Dude I’m a VEGETARIAN like the Cullens. That’s nasty
Moon: if thats the case im hanging out with the bad vamps!
UC: You get Bree & Fred.
Moon: ef that vegetarian nonsense. BACON is where it’s at
UC: I’ll take Edward
Moon: AND they have riley aka xaiver

Yea, we want to special hug him too

The one where Stephenie might want to special hug Xavier
: oh yes- let’s discuss that… how Stephenie is a major fan of Xavier and his hotness
Moon: duuuuude arent we all?! but she seemed like a special fan… who wants to give him special hugs… get in line BIOTCH!
UC: right- I’d say there was a special place in her heart for Xavier
Moon: she talked about his casting tape right?? and how she gave killing off riley a 2nd thought after seeing xavier
UC: I saw it in her eyes- I mean. I saw it bounced off your hair, which was in my view of her eyes MAD FACE yes- I think so. I have no idea. Did we make that up? Did this interview actually happen?
Moon: hey we’re besties, we gotta sit next to each other. I can’t help it if Stephenie Meyer wants to sit next to me at brunch!
UC: she said he sent in an audition tape to the casting lady and she nEVER looks at videos through the way Xavier sent it through- but she did… ? Therefore, I’m pretty sure Stephenie was hinting that everyone who is anyone should bombard the casting agent with videos- guaranteed placement

Forgive us Stephenie, we have sinned... impure thoughts... about Edward Cullen (your new wallpaper!)

The one where we get all Biblical
Moon: so anyhoo because we were fashionably (read: frantically trying to find the room) late there were only 2 seats left and where were those?!
UC: and I, being the lovelier of the two, let you sit next to Stephenie. I took one for the team (mostly I’m just gonna use this for when we meet Rob. I’m on his lap, bitch)
Moon: please bitch i raced around to get that one
UC: i know.. you shoved me pretty hard. i have a big bruise
Moon: the elbow to your throat knocked you out for a few minutes but you came back around when i pulled out the Rob smelling salts (GQ pictures I keep handy just got moments like this) BUT can we just talk about how we sat at the RIGHT hand of stephenie. it’s biblical
UC: SO Biblical!
Moon: the right hand of the father or mother superior as it were we’re freaking John!
Moon: i wont guess which one of the fansites was judas 😉

Follow the cut for our EPIC first question!

This interview begins with a choice...

If Eclipse begins with a choice, then this interview definitely does!
: THEN she finally addressed the elephant in the room…. why UC and I had left our Pattinson Pants at home, obviously. OK ok no she talked about that unfinished AWFUL story that shall NOT be named. But I’m glad she started with that cause i think it helped break the ice
UC: but who needs to mention that old piece of crap cause no one cares about Midnight Sun!! it sucks more than missing the sale at Newton’s Outfitters
: But what doesnt suck was our first question. At least we thought it didn’tthough we debated using it at all
: White Yorkie threatened to de-firend us if we didn’t use it
: and then we’d be out of the know about new action figure releases so we HAD to use it cause we GOTTA know when that new Harry Potter figure comes out

UC: it would be tragic if we were to miss that news
besides how could we start an interview with Stephenie Meyer other than by asking her to play a simple game of “FUCK, MARRY, KILL? or in our case the Eclipse version of “Leghitch, Imprint, Hunt!”
: Best Game ever! Let’s play right now: Since Stephenie said she COULDN’T choose between these three (Seriously? SO EASY) You do it: Edward, Jacob, Bella
: So I would… leghitch jacob – if he’s anything like Taylor that’d be interesting at least once (HAHA suck it chris hanson!!) and well i cant be having annoying teenagers around for longer than that… Imprint Edward – DUH. if anyone says otherwise they’re cray cray in the head!
UC: Dang… Can I F*ck Edward after I imprint though?
UC: Hunt Bella- duh
Moon:  HUNT bella. gotta get rid of the competition in Forks… do the job, james didnt finish nor victoria. OR riley. or those usless volturi!
: what is wrong with them?
Moon: srsly. does it take a human to finish the job? just cut the brakes on tyler crowleys van again HELLO! Do it on a day Edward is out hunting
UC: Done: How to Kill Bella
Moon: whats about you?
UC: Oh I agree– but on the condition I can Eff Edward after imprinting
Moon: well thats apart of marrying, right?! or imprinting as it were
UC: yes then dude… best answer done. That wasn’t so hard. We need to get Stephenie drunk on Sparkling water next time and make her choose at Jorts-point

Nothing gets between me and my korts!

The one about Korts and HP
: dude remember when she asked about jorts!! that was right around my tard clap moment and i explained jorts/korts and sworts
UC: NO remind me… seriously.. i forget EVERYTHING… ohhh yes
UC: when we first met she told us she wears them in khaki right? And if they count? and we said – oh no.. those are korts? i feel like we’re making this up. But no.. we’re not.. this happened…
Moon: i want to just imagine for a second stephenie running around phx in korts
UC: hahhahahaha
Moon: making a target run
perhaps wearing her shirt from twifans holding our sigg water bottle… it IS phx, you gottta stay hydrated
UC: Didn’t I then word vomit that our biggest hope in life is for one of the wolves to say “jorts” in an interview… and that we feel like they’re getting close? or did I imagine that?
Moon: yea you DEFS said that! i wish i had turned on the recorder in my purse so that we could have these embarrassing moments recorded for all time
UC: i know!!!
UC: your slow clap forever embedded in the account of history. UGH. we suck! well, at least we turned it on during eating time
Moon: right might as well get the sounds of us chewing a piece of pineapple while we small talk about butter beer and the wizarding world of Harry Potter. Where we might add stephenie would much rather be than anywhere in the world
UC: Yes- that’s true… Someone get Stephenie Meyer to Harry Potters’ Wonderful Wizarding world.
UC: I feel like I showed a lot of enthusiasm when I asked what Butterbeer tastes like. i’m not sure I care I mean.. I sorta care, but I pretty much don’t actually care
Moon: i did. i wanted to imagine getting drunk of liquid butter

When Rowling and Meyer meet...

UC: I also think she needs to meet Rowling… how have they not met?
Moon: who knows. if that happened the world might implode or maybe spontaneous world peace would happen… extinct animals would flourish, the oil spill would stop, rainbows would happen every day
UC: If Meyer and Rowling met…
Moon: that needs to be a internet meme! like the “when Obama wins” one

The one where we pass notes
: so what the crap happened after that? After we asked her to fuck marry and kill someone, we kinda zoned out. how do you top that, anyway? so instead we focused on what she was wearing
UC: right- In my memory she’s wearing gray pants and a blue peasant top
Moon: they were denim
UC: but.. I feel like shes’ a Nordstrom gal… or Bloomies?
Moon: i know because i was staring at her leg as we passed notes back and forth under the table…
“does edwards curtain match the drapes, check yes or no”
“was bella that much of a horn ball in phoenix? check yes or no”
“do you want to go doorbell ditch rob’s place after the inteerview? check yes or no”
UC: “Did you really randomly pick us out of a hat b/c that’s a coincidence & everyone thinks you didn’t”
“Robsten or Nonsten- circle one”


Moon: and of course she wrote in “dont give a crapsten”… cause stephenie is NORMAL. that was a trick note we passed
UC: she passed the test- PHEW
Moon: THANK GOD… i was worried we’d have to leave on principle if she checked robsten and drew a picture of a fireplace and a bearskin rug next to it… or picked nonsten and drew a picture of emily de ravene and rob in bed
UC: i bet it’d be pretty accurate though- since she knows them and has talked to Kristen first hand about the love making they do in front of a fire- we could’ve used her drawing to create our tshirts

The one where we learn about her ex boyfriends
: finally it was back around to us…
UC: And we asked the question everyone was DYING TO KNOW… WTF is up with naming vampires Diego & Fred!??? “Were they old boyfriends!??”
Moon: byu mixer days!
UC: she laughed and said she tried not to include anyone she dated- and if she did, they’d all be “Daves.” She seemed to only date Daves… It sounds like there were a LOT of Daves too…
Moon: A LOT… in fact lauren Mallory’s character may have been fashioned after stephenie’s freshman year self
UC: I think she basically implied that
Moon: Well at least you know you can never say the wrong name
UC: Right- makes it easy to remember… I bet “Pancho” was a change..
Moon: Wait, was lauren mallory a slut or am i making that up??!!
UC: i think she was just a bitch and therefore we assume she was a slut

Diego, Raul, Cristiano, Pancho, Richardo... ya know...

Moon: from dave to pancho! AYE AYE Papi! she was probably bored of white bread utah and wanted some south of the border flavor. She is from AZ, after all! Shes like the female Utah version of boys who move to LA, only they’re boys and they like Asian girls
UC: Is Pancho even Mexican? Cuz I don’t know that he is… She only likes the ethnic boys- see ya Daves, Hello Panchos, DIEGOs & Rauls
Moon: EDWARD… oh wait
UC: googling pancho…
Moon: it didnt matter if he wasnt latino, pancho was enough flava for her

You may be Italian FACINELLI, but I am ambiguously Latin! I am Pancho!

UC: Pancho is in heaven here (to the right)

Moon: look at that smile!
UC: she’s got a great smile too- i noticed that when we were taking pics- she has a closed lip smile…i always wish i could rock that  b/c i have big buck teeth
Moon: i cant do the closed mouth smile either
UC: And googling tells me… his name is Christian…
Moon: Oh Well, anyone who goes by the name “Pancho” is south of the border in their hearts and that’s good enough for us!

Someday we’ll finally get all of the Stephenie Q&A’s out there for you but hope you’re enjoying the roll out as we reflect back on the big day…


So spill, who would YOU Ef/Marry/Kill or Leghitch/Imprint/Hunt?! Answer in the comments. What’s the best threesome you can come up with? Also complete the phrase “When Rowling and Meyer meet…”

  • I wish I could SEE all of this. I’m loving living it through you’re guys’ amazing breakdowns though. More more more!

    PS. Cristiano in this post? TOTAL WIN.

    • TeamSeth

      Indeed! I’m missing some Torres though…

      • Oh, Fernando. I die a little every time I see Torres <3
        To tide you over until the next Spain game:

        • TeamSeth

          Mmm… (that picture made me giggle cuz he looks all sad, and it reminded me of the magnet that says, “Why so sullen, Edward Cullen?” hehe)

    • SO glad you guys loved some cristiano and richardo! i was hoping you gals would get it!

      • BiteThatLipRob

        i know right?
        The only man who can replace Rob for me is Ricardo Kaka. Ronaldo, I dont care much for. He’s kind of a manwhore and since he’s joined Real Madrid, he isnt even much of a player…

    • Michelle

      Soccer players are too damn PRETTY… you guys need to start watching Australian Rules Football (AFL). Those are real men. And hot and sweaty. And sometimes muddy…

      phew! Did it just get hot in here?

  • CarrieCee

    Oh god to have been a fly on the wall in that room… Stephenie sounds amazing *waves* Hi Steph – can I call you that? Like we’re besties? Y’know, I feel like cos you met UC & Moon that I have met you vicariously, even though I have never actually met UC or Moon… Which reminds me, UC & Moon, I was thinking cos you guys are like, uber celebrities now, that you should do a promotional tour. You should come to Australia. You can stay at mine – although you might wanna give me advance warning. I have also promised Rob and Kris they can stay there when they’re here on their honeymoon *that’s normal* and may have also invited Nikki Reed. It’s ok, though, if you’re here at the same time as Nikki you guys can have the spare bed and she can sleep on the couch. Promise. xoxox

  • Xylem108

    Omg… I can’t stop smiling! You girls are genious! “Leghitch, Imprint, Hunt”?!?! Aside from being an awesome Tshirt…that is a perfect way to both delight and embarrass The Queen. I bet she would have played if the other sites hadn’t been there. That’s why for BD is gonna be just you ladies. Btw, bacon is so a gift from the gods…even if it doesn’t feel that way when you are on the threadmill. I am loving this!!! MORE PLEASE!

    • she played when i changed it to diego, fred and riley! though she had a hard time cause riley is associated with xavier now! 😉

      • Xylem108

        Ooooh… This is news. So by that sequence
        would she hunt Riley? She is right to have a thing for Xavier… That was a very rare case of character improvement through casting. Awesome!

  • Xylem108

    Omg… I can’t stop smiling! You girls are genius! “Leghitch, Imprint, Hunt”?!?! Aside from being an awesome Tshirt…that is a perfect way to both delight and embarrass The Queen. I bet she would have played if the other sites hadn’t been there. That’s why for BD is gonna be just you ladies. Btw, bacon is so a gift from the gods…even if it doesn’t feel that way when you are on the threadmill. I am loving this!!! MORE PLEASE!

    • Xylem108

      Oh noes! Been struck by the Tuesday double post hex! Ratz!

      • You said ‘Ratz’ but I read ‘RPatz.’


        • Xylem108



          “does edwards curtain match the drapes, check yes or no” Bwahaha! copper flavored colored pubes.

          • Aro

            copper flavored colored

            Ha ha ha ha ha! *dies*

            Well, aren’t redheads called gingers in the U.K.? Ginger is a flavor, no?

            Sorry Steph, please don’t read that, it was disgusting.

          • EC’sGrandpaCoat

            Ahahaha. Awesome.
            @Aro; yeah, go gingas! 😀 Hug a Ginga day was… about a month ago! I hugged 27 gingers. Does Eduardo count?

          • Aro

            Eduardo defs gets the special hug. Heh.

  • Oooh, so awesome.
    I was gonna choose a f*ck, marry, kill but I simply cannot…
    Per’aps I’ll ponder on this for the night?

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  • Unlikelyfangirl

    You are SO going to hell for the Last Supper photoshop. THAT was hilarious. I’m loving the “breaking it down” whilst recapping–so LTT.

  • Leghitch Riley (Or Xavier, or whatever…).
    Imprint Edward (duh).
    Hunt Tyler Crowley (You panicked? Idiot.)

    And when Meyer and Rowling meet… Swiftner will gallop around on a unicorn under a sparkly rainbow. Yeah, that would make my day.

    • Oh and a slow clap? You really must love me. AWESOME!

  • MrsKowski

    “When Rawling & Meyer met the solution for world peace & world hunger became crystal clear” or maybe it didn’t & I just think it did cuz I’m so easily persuaded by their well drawn out fantasies!

    Did somebody seriously ask her if she was a robsten or nonsten? No seriously?? It wasn’t you guys right? Please tell me it wasn’t you?

    • girl Heck no! That was our passing notes under the table joke!

      • MrsKowski

        thank god! had to check.

  • Tigerkitten36

    Ef = Jacob
    Marry = Edward
    Kill = Bella

    Leghitch = Jacob
    Imprint = Edward
    Hunt = Bella (Duh)

    Im sensing a pattern here…Jacob would be a good “filler” (twss) while Edward loses his mind and goes around the World. Such a Drama Queen, really! You would think that with his 109 years of vampire experience, he wouldnt be so dramatic. Sulky, brooding.

    OME its so exciting that you guys met up with Stephanie. ( Hi Stephanie – greetings from FL)
    Mad jealous and happy for you at teh same time.


  • celestialchic

    Leg hitch Emmett, imprint on Jacob and hunt Jessica. In that order. Emmett and Jacob for obvious reasons, but Jessica is a two faced hag – can’t stand that.

    If Steph and JK met, there would be spontaneous combustion from all the creativity and the world would simply end. 🙁

    Maybe he’s called Pancho bc he had a fat tummy as a kid, you know, like a “paunch”. Although thinkin he’s a latin lover is way more sexy, so let’s hope not.

    Loving the info so far! Keep it coming!!!

    • The Old One

      I liked it better when they were calling him Nacho. Cuz it reminded me of how Rob said “nachos” on Oprah.

      • Lovespelledbackwards

        My hubby calls Pancho, Oscar.

      • EC’sGrandpaCoat

        Yeah, love it. If I met him,(which I will!), I’d do what they did on “love actually” and point to random objects and be like “what’s this” just so he can say them as awesomely as he does.

        • robsfuturemate

          EC’s GrandpaCoat- that is my favorite part of Love Actually!! I would totally do that too! I love how the girls are like ” oh, that’s the same.” 🙂

    • I read in a SM interview that Pancho got the nickname from his grandmother when he was a kid and it stuck. Apparently there is no story behind it other than that.
      (I guess I need to be careful what nicknames I give my kids, as they might not ever be able to shake them. My littlest is named Betty, and I call her Shmetty all the time – though some might say Shmetty is an improvement over Betty…)

      • snowwhitedrifted

        * note to self, stop calling daughter “Toots McGee”

      • I call my Simon “The Slime”. Probably should rethink that one, too.

      • Stacey

        I keep calling the baby BooBoo. I better stop that before I become a stage mom and he becomes the big attraction at the grand openings of Burger Kings.

        • delilah439

          Dude. My cousin called her little boy Boo Boo, and now he is like 10 with a mohawk. And its just weird and almost uncomfortable. Cautionary tale.
          My great uncle’s nick name was Punk. Strangely enough it fit him well, all the way into his late 90’s….

      • same

        I had a great-uncle called Chick. At age 5, he played a chick in an Easter play. I didn’t learn his real name until his funeral. Dude was 80. That childhood sh*t STICKS!

      • Michelle

        My Dad’s cousin is known as ‘Bib’, which was a bit of a term of endearment from when he was born as he was the baby of the family (or with the north yorkshire accent – the ‘Bibby’).

        Still called Bib now. In his 40’s. A morbidly obsese man-mountain called Bib. Can anyone say “ridiculous”???

  • Nelle

    Wow. First impression. Pancho is hot!

    • aleisha

      Agree. This was the first pic I saw of him. Note to Stephenie (since she reads LTT): You go girl!

  • Milfy Goodness

    I love that “leghitch, imprint or hunt” was your first question! So brilliant. Do we have to limit ourselves to twichars? Or twictors? (twi actors – doesn’t that contraction have a nice sound to it?)

    I’m looking at my True Blood EW, so I’ll leghitch Jason, imprint Eric and hunt Bill. (keeping it vamp)

    A few more points:
    1. Bacon tastes good; pork chops taste good
    2. Lauren Mallory is only a slut in fanfic.
    3. I am slow clapping you guys right now.

    (see, much more mature comment than yesterday. Keeping my jealousy on the inside, like a karate man)

    • Aro

      Keeping my jealousy on the inside, like a karate man

      Oh. Ma. Ga. Was that a “Trading Places” reference?! You’re a star!

    • delilah439

      I was just going to say the same thing about Lauren only being a slut in fan fic. Can I just admit, I was kind of getting burnt out on twi-stuff, AND THEN I started reading fan fic. I stayed up ALL NIGHT last week reading a story, got 1/2 hr of sleep before a full day of work, and cant. stop. reading.
      My Ipad internet history is NOTHING but fan fic…… so sad.

      • MsLiss

        welcome to the dark side of all nighters reading ff cos you just can’t back away from the angst…..its a slippery slope.. but don’t worry you’re amongst friends and its totes NORMAL.

        • delilah439

          Thanks 😉 that does make me feel better. My hubs never reaped any “sexy time” benefits from Twilight et al, but FF, thats a WHOLE ‘NOTHER game.
          Can I get a “brown chicken, brown cow…” 🙂

  • superhumanmoron

    I’m waiting for the part where you guys have a sleepover with Stephenie and intricately braid one another’s hair.

    • snowwhitedrifted

      …and T.P. Robsten’s summer lair!

      • superhumanmoron

        And prank call Hardwick, naturally.

  • Stacey

    Wow. Just wow. Loving the Brendan Frasier clap. Leg hitch, Jacob/Taylor? What would Big Daddy say? I laughed so hard I spit out my coffee. It’s now all over my shirt. Thanks a bunch you funny girlies, not only am I obsessed with this site, but I’m ruining all my clothes! :0)

    I agree with Xaiver being so hot that Riley should live, and have a very special and not at all in the book part in Breaking Dawn. Bella’s vampire OBGYN? It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but his pretty will completely distract all rational thought.

  • Have I mentioned lately that you ladies are my heroines? (Not to be confused with heroin…) Jake f*cks, Edward “makes love” – so obvs I would Ef Jake, Marry Edward and Kill the whiny and indecisive third wheel AKA Bella.

    • sonata

      Bella= whiney and indecisive third wheel.

      *slow clap*

  • TheColdWoman

    First the photoshopped Last Supper, then Suck It Chris Hanson! You guys kill me! And with all this Twi-foreplay… You’re like Monica on Friends – one, three, a one-two, five… And I’m like Joey – let’s just do it already!

    • Lovintherain

      Suck it Chris Hanson!! Loved that!

    • That’s the most beautiful Friends reference I’ve ever heard. *bows to your awesomeness*

      P.S. I’m with Monica… it lasts longer that way.

  • frightenedflips

    “UC: and I, being the lovelier of the two, let you sit next to Stephenie I took one for the team (mostly I’m just gonna use this for when we meet Rob. I’m on his lap, bitch)
    Moon: please bitch i raced around to get that one”


  • sassysmart

    Trying to think on the FMK…but all I can think is, can you ask White Yorkie when The Last Airbender action figures come out? I have a 4yo that wants some and I can’t find any.


    • eloise

      I thought the same thing when I read about White Yorkie! My 4 yo also wears comic book characters on his shirts and plays with action figures. I guess according to WY my son is Normal.

  • Pinky

    Although I’m anxious to get the full story, I’ll live with the snippets. At least it gives me something to look forward to when I come into work in the morning.

    Great post! Did she seriously write in ‘don’t give a crapsten’? If she did, I love her more than my Jem and the Holograms box set.

    Leghitch=Jasper (minus the janky wig)
    Hunt= Bella-Ugh…Stephenie, we’re tight like Kimber, Aja, and Shana, but seriously…you have to know how completely useless Bella is.

    • dameironfury

      I just geek-ploded. That post was truly outrageous!

  • Sj

    So I’d get to eff Jacob more than just once…… right…? Want to clarify this before I commit.

    • Sj

      …and Edward would want an open marriage (at least on my part)…….

      Ultimate threesome would be sending Jacob in to learn from the masters Carlisle & Esme. Seriously, what else does she spend her day getting ready for?

  • SarahG

    Leghitch: Riley (why the eff not?) Imprint: Carlisle (cause I like ’em older) Hunt: Tie between Mike and Eric (cause they’re annoying as hell!)

    When Meyer and Rowling meet…there will be so much fangirl squealing that Bieber will (hopefully) self-implode.

    • Sue G.

      “When Meyer and Rowling meet…there will be so much fangirl squealing that Bieber will (hopefully) self-implode.”

      One could only hope!

  • Anna

    Leghitch – Bella
    Imprint – Edward
    Hunt – Jacob (clearly I am very team edward)

  • eatmyjorts

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! The Jorts issue was raised! I just did a little idiot dance sitting right here in my chair! Oh for that glorious day when a hot wolf says that word…

    That game is genius by the way:
    Leghitch: Jacob (duh…)
    Imprint: Jacob (double duh)
    Hunt: (using a sniper scope on Charlie Swan’s finest weapon (twss)) Bella so that she’ll run away & Edward, Victoria & all the hassle will run after her & I’ll be left in peace to do some quality leghitching in the Rez.

    Break some more down, moremoremore

    Oh. BTW went to visit another site that went to meet her too & they shouted out to everyone they met & the names under LTT WEREN’T UC & Moon ! Then I realised they must be your RL names…..Moon (I’m guessing from the Biblical spelling) we have the same name!

    • I think you’re confusing Moon’s name with MY name.. b/c I’m the Biblical one & Moon is not. She has a heathen name

      • eatmyjorts

        It all seemed so logical at the time… Hey name-twin! I like your spelling best. And did I mention that in one of the photos in the post yesterday that you have amazing legs?

    • The Old One

      I don’t remember there being a Bunny or a Noreen in the Bible. Could be wrong, since it’s been a while, though.

      • The Old One

        Oh, and it’s just wrong for Stephenie to know you by any other name than UC and Moon! Wrong.

        • Luludee

          For real. I would have a hard time calling them by their real names if I ever met them in person. :fingers crossed for BD premiere:

          • you wouldnt be the first and you wont be the last!! MANY people call me Moon to my face and im in a lot of phones as moon! im used to it! 😉 i call people by their username or a hybrid of their real and user name! its awesome!

      • eatmyjorts

        Depends on what translation you have.

        I have a special edition of UC & Moon Breaking Down the Bible Vanity Fair Style (Kellan has the other one), which runs to about 5000 pages. Definitely says Bunny & Noreen in the Epistle to Twilight section.

        • The Old One

          You’ll definitely have to give us some readings from your edition: “Without Twilight, I am nothing,” so sayeth Bunny and Noreen unto the multitudes.

        • Rob’s flaming dashboard

          If a LOLcat Bible can exist then why not a Twilight Bible? Ceiling cat thinks this would be awesome blossom.


          Also Last Supper photoshop FTW!

  • Fuck Paul. Marry Edward. Kill… Aro. He’s a creepy fucker.

    When Meyer and Rowling meet, Rowling makes Meyer sob with her awesomeness. Not comparable. Sorry Stephenie! You know it’s true.

    This interview sounds fun! I’m not sure what you asked her though. I’m half asleep. I’m YAYAYAYYAYing anyway.

    • StotheP

      Oooooooh. And now I’m picturing an interview wherein Rowling, Meyer, and Suzanne Collins of The Hunger Games combine to form something like a Captain Planet of young adult fiction. And wherein I punctuate every question by vomiting on their shoes.

      • Vomit punctuation! That’ll be the next big thing. Trust.

  • KinkyKiss

    LoL I would effff Tay/Jay then imprint then marry him …
    That boy is just … anywho

    Seriously, in your wildest dreams,
    Did you EVER picture this happening?
    I can’t even imagine how great this is!
    I totes need a RL LTT friend

    • eatmyjorts

      I read ‘anywho’ as ’embryo’…Damn my gulty conscience.

      • eatmyjorts

        Guilty. Obviously of many things.

        • Sj

          Guilty? Conscience? On LTT? Never.

  • ICanHandleIt

    I think we all better get a check up after this week ’cause we might go into adrenal failure! Seriously so AMAZING! I’m totes wearing my LTT fan-girl shirt all week!(in private. I can’t out myself duh.) (thanks Snowwhitedrifted!)

    Leghitch-Carlisle-(all that experience!)

    • NotWutheringHeights

      Leghitch- Carlisle (but not PFach, even though we love him, but HOT Carlisle from the book or the graphic novel)

      Imprint- Edward (and that can be any old Edward you like… they’re all tasty)

      Hunt- Leah (what a sulky, whiny, ‘no one imprints on me cause I’m broken’ biotch)

      And if JKR and SM had a little tete a tete they’d write a(nother) novella, wherein Renesmee (totally freaked by the wolf ogling her since infancy) dumps Jacob and runs off with the young wizard Albus Potter.

      • Aro

        Phew, graphic novel Carlisle is damn…damn. I stood there in the bookstore going, “Get a grip Aro, get a grip. It’s a DRAWING!” One thing to squee over a fictional character (er, not that I do that) but an illustration? I had issues over that one :-/.

    • Luludee

      What?! You have to where your LTT shirt in public!! That’s the whole point! We’re incognito except to other LTT-ers!

    • You’ve always had a thing for Carlisle. Totes agree with NWH, book Carlisle FTW!

      • ICanHandleIt

        ha! I always have had a thing for Carlisle. I admit it! And…I am wearing my LTT shirt in public. I just pretended that I wasn’t going to, but going to in RL anyway. Fan girl PROUD!

  • c hope

    So glad you gals got this interview! I mean seriously your name picked out of hat? that pic of the hat and the names was a set up to make other sites not feel so bad, but she already had your tickets booked! LOVE these rants, you gals rock!

  • Sue G.

    “she was probably bored of white bread utah and wanted some south of the border flavor.”

    Who wouldn’t like a little, spicy Mexican!

    And as for “Ef/Marry/Kill or Leghitch/Imprint/Hunt”

    I’d Ef Jacob….might as well try it once.
    Marry Edward….all the effing I’d want ;o)
    and Kill Bella…..then I could have Edward AND Jacob!

  • StotheP

    Fuck . . Paul. Marry Edward. Kill Jacob.

    I may have more daydreams about the killing than the fucking or the marrying. The kind ones involve a vet and euthanasia. The awesome ones involve Edward inviting his cousins Bill and Eric down from Bon Temps for a puppy picnic.

    • eatmyjorts

      *gasps, faints, regains consciousness, calls ASPCW, faints again*


        No one likes Jake! Except you and 4millionish other people but THAT’S IT!

        I feel an epic Bloods vs. Crips style smackdown on the horizon. 😉

        • NotWutheringHeights

          Bring that shit on!!!!

          If you go down in the woods today
          You’re sure of a big surprise.
          If you go down in the woods today
          You’d better go in disguise.

          For ev’ry vamp that ever there was
          Will gather there for certain, because
          Today’s the day the vampires have a wolf picnic.

        • eatmyjorts


          I am UP for the smack DOWN. But before we get into that shiz I have to go to work & win some drug crazed teens back to the light side…LATER WOLFHATER.
          P.S. Pls kill me now before I channel my inner adolescent any harder.

        • Sj

          Must. Not. Downthumb. Fang. Must. Not. Will dig out old smackdown gang jacket instead. Besides, I haven’t worn pink stonewashed denim in forever.

        • StotheP

          Daaaaaaaamn, Gina. This sounds scurry. Can we at least incorporate a Sharks v. Jets dance number?

          *snaps fingers*

          Also, someone crafty can make us some Pink Ladies-style jackets. Except out of marble-hard, sparkling silk.

    • *busts in on picnic*

      YES! Except Bill can’t come. I’m still mad at him.

    • Can I f*ck Eric and still marry Edward? OR Can I marry Edward and have Eric (and possibly Bill, and that new guy Alcide from the pics I’ve seen of him – now THERE’S a werewolf) on the side?

      Actually I want to marry Edward and have my way with everyone in Bon Temps in an alternate universe where it’s not considered cheating.

      That’s right, I like to have my cake AND eat it. It’s CAKE!

      • StotheP

        CAKE for everyone!!!

        Right, then. Fuck Bon Temps, marry Edward, and kill Jacob. Final answer. A consensus, though. Not a group answer. ‘Cause that just sounds like an orgy. And that’s weird. 😉

        • eatmyjorts

          (standing on a chair, somewhere in England) Boooooooo! Boooooo! Boooooooooooooooooooooo!

          • eatmyjorts

            And no, I’m not calling for Seth. I’m calling you out!

          • StotheP

            Le sigh. I know. It’s a polarizing position to take. I just . . . I’ve never been able to accept the Jacob as soulmate/Edward as . . MORE than soulmate??? theory.

            It’s twisted my heart against him. Sad but true. Well, that and the forced kiss. And the manipulation. Accck! I should shut up now. I love you all. Don’t hate me.

          • Sj

            *From somewhere in the antipodies* – BOOOOOOOOOOOO! (My couch is brilliant for jumping up & down on in outrage Jorts). *sniff* And I try to be so nice bout bloo…um vamps.

      • Stacey

        I heart Sam. He turns into a sweet puppy. And collies are cute! I am such a dork.

  • Vi

    “when rowling and meyer met…” i think this question is moot. in my head they have already met, talked and plotted about how cedric should die, and then be reborn as edward. and then they gush for hours about how hot rob is.

  • Pancho….as in Pancho Villa, the Mexican revolutionary?

    How very bad ass of you, Mr. Meyer.

  • FacePunch

    I can’t believe both of you had brunch with Stephenie Meyer. Brunch with Stephenie Meyer. Gawd. So surreal!

    That Last Supper ‘shop is… divine. 😀

    Pancho FTW! It’s no “Big Daddy,” but it IS an awesome nickname, gotta admit.

    Can’t wait to read the rest of this! And I want to give Xavier a special hug, too. Those pixx… GAWD. He really gets me rile(y)d up. 🙂

    • FacePunch

      My first thumbs-down! I feel so… so, honored….


  • operarose

    Leghitch Carlisle, Imprint Jacob and Hunt Jane (as should probably be the fate of nearly all screwed up, power-hungry political types.)

    Am I the only romantic one who doesn’t want to break up the E+B team? Besides, Edward can be so moody. Not my thing.

    When Rowling and Meyer meet, the house elves will be freed, the Volturi will meet a swift end via an “Expelliarmus” spell, Renesmee will attend Hogwarts and become somewhat less creepy, and Leah will finally be happy because she’ll hook up with Neville.

    • Sj

      Leah and Neville. Thank you for my daily dose of weird, how the hale am I supposed to get work done while wrapping my mind around this because it’s there now and won’t go away.

      • NotWutheringHeights

        It could be worse.

        It could be Seth hooking up with Luna Lovegood!

  • FacePunch

    Just noticed the Lisa Frank unicorns! Haha! You guys are crazy. They were almost my avatar, but I’m not THAT gay.

    Loved the F, M, K thing you did! Hahaha! Here’s mine….

    Leghitch: Edward (but only if his own personal “The Vamp” is in effect)
    Imprint: Taylor (err… I mean Jacob)
    Hunt: Beller! (not hard, she would stumble and fall after 2 seconds)

    Har har!

    *does Moon/Brendan Fraser goofy point-clap*

  • RWats

    “You can’t resist a slow clap”…
    wow, dying of laughter. hahahahahahahaha 🙂

  • Alice_NaA

    I love you girls for even breaking down your own interview with the goddess!

    Booo I’m jealous at the closed lip smile too. They pulled 4 wisdom teeth and 4 regular ones and they still had to push my teeth forward (horse-style) so they’d fit in my mouth. Teeth Freak of the day award.

  • *Looooong slow clap w/ proud smile & small head nod*

  • Leghitch: James. That deep, husky voice and that smile of his when he’s about to kill Bella… DAYUM.

    Imprint: Jake. All because of the little o/s I wrote and the image of “two black-haired children” in Eclipse. (That was Eclipse, right?)

    Hunt: Victoria. Cause although she’d be a cool bestie, she’d be all over my ass after that steamy romp with James.

    • whyamidoingthis

      I share your fondness for James. Definitely on my “fuck” list. Yes, I said “list”, as in plural. Too much deliciousness to limit myself to one.

  • lapushbaby


    This just gets better and better!!

    When SMeyer and JKR meet, the piles of money falling out of their purses will create a small dent in the earth.

    • operarose

      Nice. Together they could probably BUY the Earth.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        …and plug the oil leak with the cash.

        • lapushbaby

          That is genius!!

  • Shameless_Hussy

    When JK and Stephenie meet, Stephenie is going to thank JK for killing off Diggory so we can have the joys of leghitch, tweed, and bad hygiene to swoon over. In response, JK will bitch-slap Stephenie with a crucio and pull a little of her hair so she can make polyjuice potion to finish Midnight Sun…

    • YES! Polyjuice=Midnight Sun!

      • sonata

        ahhh, Hale. (Jasper, not Shannon).

        I am so Team Stephenie that it’s not funny. But I’d kinda like to see JKR take a stab at MS.

        ahhh, Hale again. forget that. JKR needs to get her butt writing more HP.

        Can’t decide if I want more Hogwarts or Forks. crapola.

  • theC

    EF = <3 Edward <3 (over and over and over….)
    Marry = Alice (for killer wardrobe and lots of shopping!)
    Hunt = Jacob (animals are meant to be hunted)

    Steph and JK together could solve the world's monetary crisis alone!

    ps…imprinting is disgusting….just saying.

  • Ok, so I’m not really “down with the kids” (I AM 35, after all…wait, should I admit that? what if I’m the oldest person here???), and I want to know: what does FTW mean? TWSS?

    Also, Nonsten?

    • FTW- for the win!
      TWSS- That’s what she said!
      Nonsten- people against “Robsten” (rob & kristen)

      • It all makes so much sense now. Gracias.

        • snmlamb

          I assure you…you are not the oldest here! I’m not saying I am, but I know you aren’t:)

        • The Old One

          I have a theory as to who it is. Hint: see screen name/avatar.

          • TeamSeth

            I’m taking this moment to ask the question I’ve wanted to ask since you started commenting (or I did, whichever came first): What is your avatar of?!

          • The Old One

            It’s a CAT scan of a mummy. I was going to photoshop an apple between the hands, but I’m pretty lazy.

          • Avatar=Shroud of Turin?

          • TeamSeth

            Wow! That’s more incredible than I ever would’ve guessed!

    • rpisthenewps

      As long as we’re admitting to being old (I’m 35 too – what am I doing here???) and abbreviationally-challenged, can someone please explain jorts? Obviously something to do with the cut-offs (that’s what we called them in the 70’s) the wolves wear?

      • Jorts= jean shorts. the shorter the better. They are SO redneck, SO hipster & totally what the wolves wear. Since Moon & I have an obsession with all things hipster (give us a man with a ‘stache and we’ll be happy) it’s only appropriate that we always discuss it!

        • Rob’s flaming dashboard

          Like “Barry” in Kei$ha’s Tik Tok video? My dad is called Barry and it freaks me out every time I see that vid (which is A. LOT. because my kids looove it) because when she gets in the car after singing about the “dudes lining up cos they think we got swagger get kicked to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger” yeah That Guy is the antithesis of my 70 yo papa.

          Um what was my point here? UC does your dream man actually resemble the guy in this video and not Robert effing Pattinson as you would have us believe?

          • The Old One

            I like your name, Rob’s flaming dashboard.

          • Rob’s flaming dashboard

            Thank you @ the Old One!

            I was just a humdrum dashboard until Rob came into my life and suddenly – I went on fire!

        • delilah439

          How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?

          You probably wouldnt know it, its a really obscure number…

        • rpisthenewps

          wow, jean shorts, you shouldn’t have…….now I feel first-hand stupid, it’s so obvious. Well then, I guess we must be pretty hipster in this little corntown in Northern IL, because I didn’t even know there WAS anything besides jorts. We even wear them to sleep in.

      • TeamSeth

        Speaking of, when the Beav and I were in Forks this weekend, we saw a woman in jorts. Like the UF kind where it’s not a cut off but sewn that way. We both squeed a little.

    • applecart

      There are others even older than you hanging around here (like myself) & it’s perfectly normal!

  • 3hboyshouse

    Leghitch: Emmett, he kept Rosalie going for decades, so I am thinking this guys got some stamina.

    Imprint: Rob, I mean Edward.

    Hunt: Marcus, cause he was always bored so we might as well give him something to do.

    If SM and JKR meet then…wow I just saw stars and fireworks. Srsly, how do they not know eachother already! I thought all famous people knew eachother. 😉

    • snmlamb

      If we assume all famous people know each other…does that mean they assume we all know each other? Just wondering, since I’m not famous, so I don’t know.

      BTW, this was an actual thought, not at all being a smartass…I didn’t say it was a smart thought.

  • TheColdWoman

    Leghitch: Emmett (I’m up for some house breaking – beds are for amateurs), Paul, Daniel Cudmore
    Imprint: Riley (provided Edward and Seth do not kill him)
    Hunt: Yorkie, BooBoo Stewart

    Can I split between real people and fictional?? Well, too bad. I did.

    • TeamSeth

      Daniel Cudmore! I <3 you hard! (sorry I'm so rambling today, major hangover/3 hours of sleep) I love Cuddley. Aww!

  • carmeljtb@yahoo.com

    err… girls, why’d u post that picture of the soccer players? didn’t u get the memo? Robert is bothered by the world cup u know..

    oh and i still hate u by the way..

    (and, of course, by hate, i mean LOVE.)

    p.s. the guy on the pic w/ cristiano.. is that kaka? sorry, i’m a football (not soccer) retard.

  • snowwhitedrifted

    So funny!
    “You may be Italian FACINELLI, but I am ambiguously Latin! I am Pancho!”

    Love it and the Last supper Stephesus.

    Leghitch: Robward
    Imprint: Aro (I’d like to see those eyes glaze red when I serve up the bacon)
    Hunt: Jessica- she looks like slow prey

    • TeamSeth

      When I read Stephesus I immediately thought an animatronic dinosaur. Like something from that TV show Dinosaurs. “I’m the baby, gotta love me.” Wow. Just wow.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        Ha ha ha- like Stephasaurus?

        Stephesus (Stef-hee-zus) or (Stef-hay-zeus… in honor of Pancho/ Nacho).

        • Stacey

          That’s what my daughter calls George Stephenpolis from ABC news. (spelled that the wrong way)

        • TeamSeth

          Like stefa-sus

      • snmlamb

        You got a thumbs up for the “Dinosaurs” tv show reference…you are WIN

  • Luludee

    Girls, you know that Stephanie “whispered” to you that she reads the site every day, for the very simple reason that she didn’t want to make the other sites jealous or feel bad. 😉

    Leghitch: Jasper
    Imprint: Edward
    Hunt: any newborn or “bad” vamps…maybe specifically Jane. She seems quite vindictive and more overtly evil beyond just being a monster.

    • Luludee

      Um, can I also leghitch Char-I mean Felix?

      • TeamSeth

        Save some for me.

  • There were vampires named Diego and Fred? Did i miss something?

    • Luludee

      They are from the Bree Novella.

      • Rob’s flaming dashboard

        Avoid fan fail! Seriously, read The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Ideally before you see Elipse. You’ll be glad you did!

        • Rob’s flaming dashboard

          Oh no I failed too! E CCCC LIPSE not Elipse. D’oh.

  • snmlamb

    Why does everyone wanna kill Bella? What about the huge fail that is Reenneessmmee? DUH.

    F- Edward (because I don’t think he’d be good in bed…too much to teach him, but I’d wanna try it once)
    M- Emmett…because he knows what the hell he’s doing and I’m all for new furniture.
    K- The half vamp/half Bella child.

    • I put Renesmee to kill.

      • snmlamb

        I’m sorry! I didn’t see it! I also just did a find for it and still don’t see it! What time did you post it, I’d like to “thumbs up” you!

        • eatmyjorts

          Me, Sj, DJ & probably MoonJenn (hope I’ve made no assumptions here) will see you there. And we’ll be wearing War Jorts. With lycra (spandex) to accomodate our ninja moves. Take that you spangly jacketed fops!

          • eatmyjorts

            Oh total reply fail. That was at those cowbags fang & StotheP etc waaaaaaaaaaaaay up the page. Sigh.

          • Sj

            *Stretching in prep. for ninja moves while checking out lycra under war jorts look*

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