So I’m a superfan…

Dear LTTers,

I mentioned yesterday that I’m going to be 2nd-hand embarrassing you all today (Saturday) in Philadelphia for the MovieFone Twilight Night featuring Jackson Rathbone & some wolf (his name is Bronson- is he the one that says “Burn?”) I can’t really talk about what I DO know (which isn’t much) but I am allowed to tell you this, which I promise will be the most embarassing thing you’ll ever hear me say:

I am the Twilight SUPERFAN

of the Philly event.

Ever since I heard about it I’ve been having nightmares about what MIGHT happen. I mean, are they going to CALL me a “SUPERFAN” in PUBLIC? Do I have to yell out which Team I’m on immediately after they say I am the biggest fan of all time? What if I accidentally say “TEAM BIG DADDY?” Since I really have no idea what this event is gonna be like, I came up with some potential things I could see moviefone, in conjunction with Summit, wanting their SUPERFAN to perform:

  • Participate in a Face off with a 12 year old- WHO IS THE BIGGEST FAN where I want to win, because of COURSE I’m a bigger fan than she is, but also don’t want to because the prize is a Jacob Black doll. And they want the winner to make out with it.
  • SUPERFAN Twilight Trivia- What if I know all the answers? Should I pretend I’m stumped by a few so I don’t look like a major dork?
  • What if they force a Burger King crown on my head? Will I ever live that down while my friends look on? And more importantly, will Big Daddy even want to meet me after he hears I  supported the BK?
  • What if there’s a tshirt making contest.  Once they see me hold a puffy paint stick, I know they’ll quickly give the artsy part to a 15 year old, but what if I have to MODEL all the entries? Walk down a stage, strutting my SUPERFAN self while I wear a white Hanes T that says “TEAM PATTESTON?”
  • What if I have to talk to Jackson & he asks me what my favorite 100 Monkey’s song is ?
  • Will they bring this girl on stage assuming we’d be bff’s? And present her as a gift? Can I laugh?

She's a SUPERFAN- like me

  • What if I have to sing a 100 Monkeys song without crying?
  • Will I have to say 5  facts about Bronson Pelletier or else they throw a sippie cup full of blood on me?
  • What if they pull 3 dark-skinned guys on stage and make me pick out which one Bronson is?

Don’t worry- I won’t be sporting a SINGLE Twilight accessory or piece of Twilight clothing- well, I will have my Forks, WA rape whistle that @brookelockart gave me as a moving gift last week since I moved near the ghetto. And the ONLY way that’s coming out of my purse is if I get so nervous before hand that I run to the closest bar (like 12 feet from the event) and down a couple shots. Then we might hear my whistle blowing while I yell, “I’M YOUR SUPERFAN BITCHES” and flash all the poor 13 year olds, just there to find out who the hell Bronson Pelletier is and what he has to do with Twilight.

Make sure you follow us on Twitter as I’ll try to tweet from the Wolf, Vampire, SUPERFAN limbo line, or something

Doing my best to not 2nd-hand embarrass anyone,

After the jump, our LTT_LTR store SUMMER COLLECTION is here!

Our amazing Tshirt designer, snowwhitedrifted, emailed us yesterday calling this our “Summer Collection.” I WANT THEM ALL!

These will be available (minus the crazy twi-hard- she slipped her way in there (TWSS)) SOON (if not already) in our LTT_LTR Store!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • LOL! That is hilarious, UC! Good luck! You will be fab (duh).
    And Jackson’s gonna be there! I love me some (clean-shaven, freshly-showered) Jackson!
    And OMG these new designs are ahmayzing!!!! Seriously, SWD, you are wicked talented!! 😀

    • Twi-Mom (not like on “O”)

      IKR, he was looking HAWT Thursday night. Dare I say that I might like him better than Rob when he is cleaned up! Let the thumbs down begin.

  • Bea

    I’m trying to get up the nerve to even GO to the event here in Atlanta… the 2nd had embarassment might kill me… if it didn’t my husband’s teasing might.

    • Bea

      So I just checked the info for the Atlanta event and I quote:
      “Twi-toos! (limited supply)
      Twilight mini-makeover (limited supply)
      Blood red carpet photos
      Fanged photo booth
      Face painting
      Moon pie making with Young Chef’s Academy”
      Umm… I’m second hand embarassed by just the flier. Maybe I’ll just watch the DVD at home.

      • Sue G.

        Moon’s making pies with the Young Chef’s Academy?

        • Bea

          Exactly my thought!

      • TeamJorts

        Twilight mini makeover?! I wonder if that’s a true makeover with a hideous wig and everything…..

        • Twi-Mom (not like on “O”)

          You get to pick one of the crappy Summit wigs, bad pancake makup and choose from Alice’s Painters smock or Horse Blanket. Men can pick to either be Tweed serious or go for the jorts and shirtless look. You then get to take a pic with Cardward and leg hitch it.

  • Nelle

    UC- represent! And never be ashamed that you know all the trivia answers! That’s totally normal!

    P.S. Jacob’s body temp is 108.9. Don’t forget the .9.

    • Xylem108.9

      I heart you for this! I forgot about the nine. My name was incomplete. Problem fixed. I love the Jacob love so early in the morning.

      Also UC, be sure to have knee pads. I just have a hunch. 😉

      Sooo when do we get our SM fix?

      • Nelle

        Heart you right back!

      • Xylem108.9

        Twitter Message from Jayde17:

        “Fanfic has ruined me. Your comment on LTT asking when we were getting more SM stuff?? I totally read it as S & M… lol. I blame MoTU.”

        Uhm, Jayde, The Queen will be pleased to know you associate her initials with such darkly vivid erotic fantasies of Fifty. Damn it, Jayde! now I’M thinking about it.

        • Blushing so furiously, I could put B’s blush to shame.
          Sadly, I read words wrongly quite a bit and think “bloody hell, why the eff are they talking about THAT?!”… and then I realise I’ve read it wrong.

        • robsfuturemate

          Xylem, I always read S & M when I see that! Every. Time.
          And then I always put Rob behind it. Or on top….or whatever!

  • Nelle

    Oh- and wish I could be there. I live 30 miles from Philadelphia but I am 90% in the closet because I am way too old for this!

  • Moon’s “I Love Dick” t-shirt could be taken several ways (twss) and I may have just giggled like a total moron and drawn weird looks from Mr Cledbo thinking about the ways.

    UC – you ARE the superfan.
    Also, Bella is a Virgo #importantfactsyo!

  • eatmyjorts

    Listen up UC (name twin)…I WANT you to shout out Team Big Daddy, I want you to win the Jacob doll & tell them it’s for your blogbuddy EMJ to leghitch, I want you to shout ‘too easy’ on the major character questions & turn tables & ask them ‘What is green?’, ‘What is the correct term for jean shorts?’, & the like to weed the weak from the herd & leave only the truly weird or funny able to speak up.

    Dammit woman, this is one of our best chances to break some screaming normality into the heinous farce fest that these things are likely to be….& to edge the goal of ‘jorts’ being everyday speech to the wolfpack by the next movie a teeny tiny step nearer.

    I also want you to be kind to the nervous teenagers…I know this is all a lot to ask. Somehow slam the crazy & love the rest. I have faith. In you, as well. I will try pep talk you via twitter today.

  • eatmyjorts

    P.S. I love the new shirts SWD! I’m just nervous about buying one as whenever I buy a shirt with something on the front my 34J’s stretch it weirdly. The Breast Cancer target was a lozenge on me, even in the biggest size…1st hand humiliation is a concept I am very familiar with.

    It’s my birthday soon, I may take the chance.

    • Luludee

      When you finally take the plunge, if you get a fitted T, you might go up a size from what you’d normally get. My shirt squishes the girls a bit; but I’ve only tried it on so far and haven’t gotten it worn in yet.

  • natashadushi

    I am so going to buy Big daddy’s t-shirt hahahahahaa.
    Good luck UC!!!

    • eatmyjorts

      But have they made one in his size, in his honour, to pass to Taylor next time he comes round to Moon & UC’s lair for tea, or whatever it is that they & the cast do these days….? Send the Big Man a Big T-shirt, I’m begging you.

  • UC, please don’t be ashamed about being a superfan. Here’s the deal: I randomly posted a few twilight trivia questions on on moviefone’s ultimate twilight trivia challenge. And guess what? They chose one of my questions.

    Can you say L-A-M-E?
    (In case you’re wondering, my question was “What was the name of Rosalie’s friend?” Ans: Vera.)

    So, compared to THAT, you’ve got little to be 2nd-hand embarrassed about. Oh and Bronson was the cute wolf. Does that make me a perv?

    Make sure you tweet A LOT!

  • Sue G.

    “I am the Twilight SUPERFAN of the Philly event.”

    Of course you are! No surpise to us!

    •SUPERFAN Twilight Trivia- What if I know all the answers? Should I pretend I’m stumped by a few so I don’t look like a major dork?

    NO WAY! Show them how a smart, confident woman can still like Twilight and that the fans are not all 12 year old screaming kids!

    Have fun and make us proud!

  • Sj

    UC- So, to be picked as the superfan you had to nominate yourself or did Moon throw you under the bus and scamper? I’m calling you out , I don’t think your embarrassed at all and are secretly dreaming about Jackson being so blown away by your knowledge he’ll hire you as his character development coach for BD.

    So to achieve this end I suggest:
    1. kneecap the 12yo- that Jacob doll is yours.
    2.Answer every question correctly acting out any appropriatley related scenes.
    3.Don’t worry about the BK crown, your friends will already know you are a dork because you ARE the superfan, and you can keep it as a XMAS present for your least fav. relative.

    As for the rest, I’d suggest another 3 or 4 shots to take care of it

    PS. If you shout out to Big Daddy and wink directly into any camera I will worship you forever.

    • Sj

      SWD – thanks for taking care of my summer wardrobe, they’ll all go so well with my jorts.

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  • There is actually a real reason why I am doing this & I’ll explain when it’s all over! But you’re right- I WILL win that trivia contest .

    Two free fish-o-filets coupons donated by big daddy l coming my way!!

    • eatmyjorts

      The REAL reason? Have you & your new bff Stephenie dreamed up some scheme? Are you wearing an earpiece with direct feed from Twicentral? Or are you just looking for an excuse to come out of the closet & announce that you’re Team Wolf now? ‘Oh, he was so cute in real life I couldn’t resist! Hi Bronny baby! Mwah’.

      Pleased let the reason be totally minxalicious….

    • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

      I know I’m not read up on all the back LTT, but did it come out that Big Daddy’s REAL son is in the McD’s fish-filets commercial with the talking bass fish on the wall – the mid evolve silent bob character?

      • Sj

        I certainly hope you’re on UC’s phone a friend list for tonight.

  • Stacey

    If they make you wear the Burger King crown, please please take a picture and post it!

    Ohh… Call out, Team Buttcrack Santa!

    And then, give Jackson a little tap on the tush for me.

    I am living through you tonight, lady! Also, sneaking around the house tonight to follow you on Twitter and avoiding watching Patriot Games for the 100th time!

    • Oh, yes! A “good game” tap on the tush. You know the one *wink*!

  • FacePunch

    Wow, Jackson will be there! How cool! You can tell him how awesome it is to see him without having to hear his band play! LOL!

    Bronson is the wolf (Jared) that says, “This chick runs with vampires!” in NM… the funny one, and he’s a cutie!

    Have fun, and we will all be feeling second-hand embarrassed vicariously through you. 🙂 Trust us, we’re used to it.

    You TWILIGHT SUPERFAN! Hahahahaha

    • Xylem108.9

      Is it wierd that in the films and in the trailers I know exactly which wolf is which by the color of their fur, but now in this discussion I’m suddendly confused about them in their human form? Maybe if the color of their jorts matched their fur it would make it easier to identify them.

      Somehow that just sounded like a carpet matching the drapes joke, which was totally not my intention.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    If they ask you facts/trivia just don’t mix up what really happens in the stories and movies with fanfic… Like don’t call Edward, “Edward Wallbanger” or any thing or talk about Edward taking Bella on her desk. You’ll confuse and maybe scare the 12 year old baby chicks.

    Wait that could be really funny, maybe you should throw in a random fanfic fact to confuse everyone and give us a good laugh

  • whyamidoingthis

    OMFG, you are SO hilarious.
    I can’t wait to read about it later!

  • FacePunch

    Gawd, I read this yesterday and it’s a bit long, but it is SO funny! Just thought I’d share! 😀

    • eatmyjorts

      I am crying tears of pure mirth…’kitten biscuit perfume’. Thanks for posting this FP, I’d never have seen it otherwise.

    • Stacey

      Thank you for that! I am sending you virtual hugs, because I laughed so hard! Nicole Eggert was there? Umm… Why?

  • TeamJorts

    Hysterical! I wonder how many pre teens you’ll make cry with your superior knowledge? If they make you sing a 100 Monkey’s song just pull an Ashley Simpson and jig around like a crazy person, Jackson will forget you didn’t know the words.

  • Obava

    Don’t forget your sparkly LTT flask, and HAVE FUN! We love you!!

  • Robjunkie

    Hahahaha! I’m laughing already. With you, with you. And at the hilarious suggestions above. This is too much, in a totally 2nd hand embarrassing, yet AWESOME way. When is starts, you have to shout out LET’S DO THIS!

  • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

    OMG! I love you guys . . . my sister-in-law bought me a New Moon t-shirt ($1 clearance but) that she knows I won’t wear so “we” could match when we went to see Eclipse. She even said “but it has Jacob on it, see”. Yes, his . . . head is quite large, I do see. I guess she wasn’t fooled that I was only defending Jacob since she is continually annoyed with him taking away from her Edward time.

    I’m so second hand embarrassed that she will be anywhere near me to blow my casual cool cover waiting in line to get seats (isn’t that WHY I BOUGHT TIXS AHEAD OF TIME TO AVOID THIS!!!). She keeps looking at me with worried eyes asking why I keep trying to back out even though I’M the Fandango fiend who bought the tixs so we wouldn’t get sold out.

    She is even dragging my niece who HATES all things Twilight (hence the name) and anything remotely “in” to keep her coolness factor in check. Oh wait, maybe it has to do w/the noises her Mom makes when she kisses and strokes her Edward magnet that I made her from the old BK burger box (which my brother will never forgive me for, but no puffy paint needed girls though I did consider for just a moment to add sparkles – I cringed just typing that). But my main fear . . . . being caught on anything remotely recorded . . . is there a phobia for being caught on youtube, because I sooooo have it.

    • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

      PS You are keeping the SM nuggets for the long cold Breaking Dawn winter ahead of us right?

      PS after PS I once slipped and said “Oh, that’s Jared” when someone was looking at a New Moon calendar and couldn’t figure out who the other wolf boy was . . . sad, but true. The key is just keep walking or find the need to go to the ladies room immediately following the slip.

  • Leah


  • Brooke Lockart

    Best of luck UC! Let’s hope that the Forks, WA rape whistle brings you some good luck, you superfan, you.

    Btw, Jasper/Jackson actually looked pretty hot in eclipse. Didn’t notice the wig as much. However, I maybe be slightly jaded as I got a Jackson finger gun point, right before the movie started. Hee

    Can’t wait to see you in LA!!!

  • Luludee

    Oh this is going to be great. I have no idea how this works. Will it be taped so that we can watch it at a later time? If so, you should defs slip in as many LTT jokes as you possibly can!
    Don’t be nervous! You know you have all our support; YOU met STEPH and now you’re bff. Girl, you got this!! Just have fun!

  • lapushbaby

    Do us proud, UC, do us proud!!!!

    I hope you are wearing one of the LTT shirts!!!

  • Bella_NaA

    Oooh, LOVING the new t-shirt designs! I’m putting Big Daddy’s Filet-o-fish snack shack on my Christmas wish list. Is it Christmas yet? Oh wait…

    Make us proud UC! You’ll do great!

  • LegHitch

    Love the pattinson family reunion shirt!! Can’t wait!!

  • robsfuturemate

    So the other day I was looking at all the shirts trying to decide what to buy. I love me some “date night” shirt and the tweed serious with Rob but nothing was screaming out my name. Now today, total opposite problem!!! I love Dick (and might need a shirt to prove it) and of course the Pattinson family reunion is on my list! But the Hitch, Imprint, Hunt is hilarious and is perfect for movie and game nights! Oh, the dilemna!

    Thanks girls!

    • robsfuturemate

      typo! forgot the most important part of the “hitch”. The leg!!


      the end!

  • MyNieceIsaFanRIGHT

    The Summer Collection made my day! Hot Topic has some competition when this hits the runways-sidewalks-county fairs. Please don’t use the Jakeward model even if she’s cheap . . . to use . . . . for free . . . ok, I’m just going to stop now.

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