The LTT Mailbag – A Grandma leaves me speechless


Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time to crack open the mailbag and see what goodies the crazies have sent us. Since we don’t have Intern Rob like LTR does to answer emails over there I guess I’ll be forced to. Instead of posting a letter from our super funny readers I’ve broken into our special “crazies” folder to bring you a little chuckle this Monday (ugh) morning…

I get that Bella is in love with Edward but still has feelings for Jacob.  Jacob is suspicious of Edward’s intentions.  Do you think Edward is hiding something more from Bella and Jacob?  I think Edward might not be everything that he says he is.

Edward on the weekends

Dear Suspicious,
If be not everything he says he is you mean he’s a tranny you would be right. Edward has been living half his life as a woman and performs at the he drag show nights at the Tool Shack in Port Angeles. And you know how he’s always skipping school any time it’s “sunny?” It’s not actually because he glitters, it was because he was up late watching the RuPaul’s Drag Race marathon on Oxygen while sketching new costume ideas with Alice. AAANNNDDD you know that whole glittering business? Well that’s no lie, Edward really does sparkle in the sun but it’s because he’s wearing Body Shimmer from Sephora not because of some vampiric side effects.

SO you were right, Edward really isn’t everything he says he is.

I think the 5th book should be called “The Bleeding Rose, The final Chapter of Twilight”
From – A Reader

Dear A Reader,
I think the 5th book should be called “Midnight Sun.” Get in line.

There needs to be more action that will make you jump out of your seat, more drama, adventure, romance, more sexy characters. Does anyone know when Stephanie will be signing books and where to meet her?

Dear Billy,
Maybe you and A Reader can tell Stephenie this at her book signing for: MIDNIGHT SUN. Whenever that will be. Keep your eyes on the prize people!

Ain't no thang just reading LTT/LTR/Robsessed/Twifans/ benefits site

Subject: A Grandma’s Desire
Just like all of the fans of the twilight cast My desire is to truly be able to contact them to let them know how we feel about our favorite actor or actress. And to thank Stephenie  Meyer,  for taking the time to write the novel  that sparked life into all our lives. Both women and men. I  happen  to be Team Edward. My desire is to see him in person. I’ve  been  tempted to catch the plane, come out there and share the ground  with my homeless  friend  just for the opportunity to see him, walk the runway or visit on the outside of a site  where he is working. Hoping to catch  sight of him. Sometimes the urge is so great  I’ve called  my  friend to tell  her im  on my way. I don’t  think  I would enjoy sleeping outside in the elements But  if  I knew  that I could see him , I would take the chance. I have little hope now that my friend have lost the car she was sleeping in. I was  counting on furnishing the gas and she would at least drive me around. I watched when fans put up  their tents and envied them, wishing I was there. My children and grandchildren  are embrassed   when  I  talk about Edward and my desire to see him in person. To  hear his voice, see his gorgeous hair. But I would be satisfied just to get a e-mail from him. I tried  to get to Chicago, when he was there its closer to my home. But I got sick. He was on the Oprah show. I sent him a birthday card  to the  show . Hope he got it. hope he e-mail me back, I will be waiting.
All my love,

She's got a used tissue in here for you

Dear Twilight Grandma,

Sorry but my mind is blown. You’ve seriously considered shacking up with your homeless friend in a CAR to stalk Rob? I’m gonna have to go ahead and say THIS is NOT NORMAL. We’ve done and said some weird stuff in our time but this ranks up there. I totally understand the allure of Edward or Rob or whoever you think he is but you’re a grandma. You should be watching reruns of Murder She Wrote, knitting weird sweaters and eating hard candies covered in pocket and tissue lint, not fantasizing about giving your homeless friend gas money in exchange for tracking down “Edward.”

Yes, friends these are REAL emails we’ve received! We couldn’t be more happy and scared each time we log in to our emails. Feeling frisky and want to write us a letter? Have a question? Have an observation? Rereading the Saga? Want to profess your love for Stephenie/Rob/Summit Entertainment? WRITE US!

Now don’t have a case of the Mondays,

I almost gave Edward a drag name but then I thought I’d let you guys create it… So have at it in the comments!

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