Buttcrack Santa Gifts

Dear LTTers-

Have you noticed that this year it is getting harder and harder to find Buttcrack Santa gifts? I was at Hot Topic the other day (a sentence I never thought I would ever say OR think OR type!), trying to find the perfect Buttcrack Santa gift for my sister and I kept coming up with dead ends! There was just nothing I felt was worth dishing out $30 or even $14.99 for! Good Twilight gifts are becoming harder and harder to find!

Buttcrack Santa first made his appearance at Christmas of 2009. Being avid LTT readers, my sister and I both got the giggles (yes we are 26 and 29 and we still get the giggles) when she found one of “those little bottles” in her stocking with a tag “To: Team Seth, Love: Buttcrack Santa.” Our parents and husbands stared at us blankly, waiting for an explanation. There really wasn’t a good one. We both looked at each other, turned to our judgemental group and said “its a Twilight thing, you wouldn’t understand.” And with that, the Buttcrack Santa tradition was born.

But, Buttcrack Santa gifts aren’t just for the winter holidays! This special breed of Santa can make an appearance any time of year. Buttcrack Santa made an appearance in June, right before Eclipse came out and delivered me a wonderful Eclipse watching package- complete with LTT shirt, my own jorts, a replica Bella ring and other Twilight nic-nacs! Then, last Christmas I received a wonderful “Team Jacob” t-shirt, which from the looks of the orange price tag, Santa got a very good deal on!

Unfortunately, BCS was too drunk to remember my sister’s gift last year. So this year, I am bound and determined to find the best possible BCS gift for her. This search has been hard though! The stores aren’t stocking Twilight stickers, candy and key chains like they used to! Even Barnes and Noble let me down. So, my quest drove me to the Internet, where I found some real gems.

For example, did you know that for a mere $39.99 you could be a proud owner of this set of sparkling Twilight title themed Christmas ornaments?

Or, if Breaking Dawn was your favorite, you could receive these “honeymoon” themed ornaments from Buttcrack Santa this year! Now, these seem pretty easy to make, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to go to the craft store and buy a bag of fake white feathers, so my search continued.

Buttcrack Santa gifts don’t have to be holiday themed either! In fact, they are better if they are something you can use year round- like a bracelet or other fun item for your house. A good bracelet at Hot Topic can cost you anywhere upedward (see what I did there?) of $14.99, but on etsy you can find so many other varieties! Like this “Edward” handmade beaded bracelet!

Or this replica of Bella’s graduation present!

I prefer my BCS gifts to be a little more subtle however, which is why I bypassed all the wonderful creations on etsy and hopped on over to my local 5 Below. This was my last ditch effort to find the perfect Twilight gift before I hit up Michael’s to buy some feathers and a silver paint pen. Thankfully I hit the very small jackpot there, but I can’t share what I bought or Team Seth will know her gift ahead of time! I will say this: the gift is a small token of Twilight love and vampire appreciation and cost below $5 (hence the name) which is absolutely perfect for BCS’s budget. These gifts don’t have to be big or expensive, just something to give us a little reminder of the joint love of something that gave us many laughs and good times together and some great inside jokes. Buttcrack Santa is the little bit of Twilight holiday spirit in all of us LTTers.

I hope the spirit of Buttcrack Santa has inspired all of you to start your own BCS gift exchange! And although good Twilight gifts are becoming fewer and farther between, I can only hope this tradition with my sister continues for years to come!

Happy Holidays and Little Bottles to All and to all a good night!
-“Rachel B”

Rachel is right! We used to find SO many GREAT (ahem) “Buttcrack Santa” gifts every year- Etsy was FULL of the best, and now…. they are SO few & far between! I mean, there is the “Harry’s World Famous Fish Fry” Moon sent me for our 3 year anniversary (for real), but nothing Buttcrack Santa would REALLY be proud of. Have YOU seen anything?

You know who sells the PERFECT “Buttcrack Santa” gifts? (I bet you’ll never guess) We do. In the LTT/LTR Store. Stock up for the Holidays. All of them!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Anonymous

    ***tears*** I want a Buttcrack Santa gift.
    *sniff* I love those little bottles….

    • MariaCecilia

      You’re a big girl. Your deserve BIG bottles now!

      • TeamSeth

        Big girl blouse! (or whatever it was that SisterPenguin said.  Is that a British thing or a SisterPenguin thing?)

        • Anonymous

          Definitely a British thing. Possibly more English than British (just ask the Scots)

  • Anonymous

    Oh wait! I forgot to not waste more time today, so I will show you my favorite Twi-swag: http://www.etsy.com/listing/60040757/we-go-together-like-teen-girls-and

    I have it framed in my kitchen.

    • lol thats hilarious!

    • TeamSeth

      soooo much better than your friend’s Valazquez print!

  • Anonymous

    With a simple turn of the cover you can have it both ways…
    If only it came in kingsize! 

    • Anonymous
      • Anonymous

        Oh sweet jebus that’s awful.
        I miss the Nordstrom’s swag.

      • oh my…is this real life?  every 11 year old in the UK probably has that book!

        • Anonymous

          It would explain a lot

      • Anonymous


        and there are reviews posted!

      • MariaCecilia

        Okaayy – that right there is definitely the book people SHOULD be burning….

    • I love the description too! “Its the toughest, nail-biting decision of all Twilight fans, choosing between…” ahahaha

    • Bubs

      I’d still like a basic Team Jacob one but my husband might ask too many question….darn.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the idea! Everyone is getting buttcrack Santa bottles!

  • MariaCecilia

    Hey, if they’re REAL Buttcrack Santa-gifts they are supposed to be cheap and cheesy, right? Well, I guess I’ll just stick to home-made jewelry and make replica of Bellas jewelry with plastic beads, paste tiny photos of Edward in lockets and look for Bella-themed clothes at the local H&M..I can still never outdo the sheer cheap cheesiness of the official BD calendar *gag*. I am seriously considering making my own clip-and-paste pictures and inserting them in my calendar aka the lovely picture you found us the other day of Edward+Bella+Jacob. Hey, I can draw better than those calendar pictures! Seriously.

  • Anonymous

    For a fleeting moment I thought I’d found the perfect gift… but alas it’s sold out. And it would have gone so wonderfully with Bella Swan’s new perfume “Immortal”. 

    Talk about setting the mood in a room. Lighting it with images of Edward and Bella and scenting it with… “la tua cantante”… which apparently seems to smell a lot like citrus and wild chamomile.

    –Bella Swan’s Immortal Twilight Perfume–


    –SOLD OUT: Twilight Luminary Lamp Nightlight–

    There’s still hope for those who prefer Robert Pattinson, his Luminary Lamp Nightlight is still available.

    • TeamSeth

      I met a girl once on a double date thing who found out I was really into Twilight and then midway through the conversation she said to me, “I need to tell you a secret.”  We went away from our boyfriends and she took off her shoe to show me her new tattoo. She said, “I haven’t found anyone else who will ‘get it’. I’m a singer, so it’s not weird to have for me, but, you will ‘get it’.”

      The tattoo was a script of “La tua cantante”  I almost peed my pants laughing.  It was phenomenal.

    • Anonymous

      Lord baby J. 
      Give me a calendar, some scissors and a light bulb – we is gonna be rich

      • Anonymous

        Yep… you can make a sweet $18 a piece (less cost of supplies). And I’m thinking by photocopying the calendar images, it will give them that classy “velum” look when you light your lamp.  😉

        • Anonymous

          We could make our very own LTT lamp of classic photoshop images. Image the silhouette of an alpaca emerging from The Olive Garden lighting up your room…

          • MariaCecilia

            OK, so do you ship stuff to Europe? Can it get here by X-mas?

          • Anonymous

            Hmm. Six days with Royal Mail? May need to hire some vamps to swim it over. 

            Imagine the extra cash the Volturi could make if they opened a transport company: they already have subjugated staff (no strikes), no need for rest stops (of ANY kind), easy to avoid border control…

          • Anonymous

            I want one.

          • Anonymous

            Well, I usually begin my Christmas letter:

            “Santa, I can explain….”

          • Anonymous

            I just snortlaughed.

            Now I want to tear down my tree and do a glittery apple, alpaca, and Italiano theme.

  • Teamseth

    I’m so excited!!!!!!!!!!  Unfortunately, Buttcrack Santa was too late this year to get his gift into the box of everyone’s gifts I just shipped to mom and dad’s house.  So… :'(

  • TeamSeth

    Next time I’m in Forks, because that happens pretty often, I’m going to dedicate about $100 to stocking up on things like mint tins shaped like state of Washington license tags that say funny things like Spider Monkey and pins that say Vampires YAY!

    • MariaCecilia

      So now I have to go to Forks to shop for this cool stuff. Bummer. There goes my “Comic Con 2012 Travelling Fund”.

  • Anonymous

    Props for the subtlety of her homage. As for the permanency… maybe it will stand the test of time aaaand maybe not-so-much. Either way, I like her alibi

    • Anonymous

      Huh? Oh Disqus… this was meant to be in reply to TeamSeth’s “la tua cantante” story.

      • Bubs

        Yeah, what is with all this “Collapse Expand” stuff ??? I’m lost. Would it be possible to go back to the old format ? I understood that [most of the time :-] ].

        • MariaCecilia

          Yeah, “collapse-expand” makes me think of my bitchy ballet teacher (not cool) or the Lamaze course I took before delivering my firstborn. Not pleasant memories, you guys!

          • Disqus is being Dickqus these days…

    • TeamSeth

      I liked her alibi too. She is hilarious and awesome and makes me wish I lived in the same city as her. Alas. And apparently I went on a really awkward date with her uncle (wtf!) and no one knew this strange connection until he showed up at drinks one night and I was there (with Mr. Seth).  They’re the same age (she and her uncle).   La tua cantante!

  • You guys are hilarious!  Yes, Timmy – Buttcrack Santa IS real!

    • Anonymous

      Oh my lordy. It looks like an Edward from a soft porn version (and all woolly)

  • sweetinator88

    hahahaha i want one of those little bottles too!

    and okay, i don’t know if you gals at LTT made this up or if you got it somewhere, but when i saw this i immediately thought of LTT and started cracking up:




  • Alli

    eu amo o robert…

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