Someone really loves Big Daddy Lautner

Dear Big Daddy Lautner,

We got this e-mail related to you last Friday when we featured you on one of the new Breaking Dawn Part 2 Posters:

How dare you old ass hags disrespect Taylor’s father like that by putting him on some damn poster. Are you bitches mad because he makes more money then you yeah that’s what it is. Or the fact that your husbands are lazy ass men that don’t do shit for a living.

Dear director of the Daniel Lautner Fan Club,

You’re right. It was so disrepsectful to feature Rob on a poster along with Big Daddy. Daniel deserves his very own features. Like this one we did a few years back of Daniel outside of his favorite restaurant:

or that time we artistically represented what Big Daddy dreams about during sporting events:

Or that one where we shared how Taylor & his dad demanded a tricked out trailer:

Or that time we superimposed a fish filet sammy over Taylor’s head:

We were wrong to include the infamous Daniel Lautner with that terrible Robert Pattinson. We hope you’re able to forgive us & are convinced of how much we really do love our favorite Twi cast member’s dad (well, tied to Dick Pattinson, followed closely by Mr. Stoner Stewart)

A couple of broke old hags with lazy ass men for husbands

It’s been awhile since we’ve gotten a hater good enough to share. This one really gave me cheer on Friday afternoon! Hope your holiday weekend (in the US!) was grand! XOXO -UC

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter, The Store

  • Sue G.

    I can’t believe Moon got married to a lazy ass husband and she didn’t tell us!!!!!

    • TeamJacobEdward


      Seriously Moon.  Secrets are no good here.  It’s like we’re back to ribbons over eyes.  We just took a giant step backwards in our relationship with you. 

      I’m so sad now.

  • MarbleNutSlut

    I read the title of this and said, “Someone?! Don’t you mean EVERYONE?!?”

    • Luludee

       IKR? Aren’t we the Daniel Lautner fan club?

      • TeamSeth

         I didn’t realize his name was Daniel until today (isn’t Taylor’s middle name Daniel? I guess that makes sense). But I still feel like I’m part of the club!

        • Luludee

          A quick google search reveals that yes, Taylor’s middle name is Daniel, which I did not know until today. We both learned something new today!

          • TeamSeth

             We can thank Sj_Nuiph for the Taylor middle name trivia tidbit. When she went to some event to check him out (and saw Big Daddy instead–IKR!) she blurted out to me (via email, we live on completely different continents and hemispheres) his middle name. #normal

            Also normal that I always read her name as Sj_Nymph.

          • Sj_nuiph

            *sigh* I’ll never forget the day Dan whisked past me on an escalator *sigh* damn those security guards.

            I do my best to be nymph like but tone it down around actual nymphs, don’t want them to think I’m disrespecting.

          • Luludee

            I read her name that way too! 😀

        • Luludee

          It does feel kind of strange to call him Daniel. I’m pretty sure that if I ever saw him in real life, I would yell out “Big Daddy!” and then be really confused when he didn’t immediately look around to see who is calling for him.

  • Great.  Now I want McDonald’s for lunch.

    • Sisterpenguin

      Only if you get a Big Daddy bobble head in the happy meal

    • MariaCecilia

      Watch out. Too many of those and YOU may be the next Daddy Lautner-look-alike to be featured on LTT.

      • You’re right Maria, I’ve worked too hard to keep my girlish figure into my late 30’s to now let it slip away with too many Big Daddy Happy Meals.  Thank you for keeping me accountable.

  • JodieO

    You evil hags!  How dare you sully the deliciousness of a fish-o-filet (going back to the classing misspelling) sandwich by putting it over Taylor’s head! You smell!

    • celestialchic

      I believe the term was “ass hags” not evil hags.  Next time somebody ticks me off I will def use that!

  • Sj_nuiph

    I’ve only just noticed how the Olive Garden sign features a huge picture of grapes. Olives and their fans everywhere are outraged. And grapes the world over have been disrespected.

  • twiprof

    wow….just wow.

  • MariaCecilia

    This is SO interesting from a sociological point of view! Twilight actually is like a complex religion: you just never know which one of your comments will suddenly offend someone!
    Maybe we should try to break Twidom down into different cults? That way we could declare each post “Daniel Lautner-sensitive” or “KStew-sensitive” or “Robsten-sensitive” or “Nonsten-sensitive” so that followers wouldn’t have to have their sensibilities wounded needlessly?

    Okay, I hereby declare myself the founder of the Copstache-cult. NO disrespecting Charlie when I’m around!

  • BrookeLockart

    I’m not sure why, but whenever I see big daddy Lautner, Kelis plays in my head. 

    His milkshake brings all the fans to the yard…

    • TeamSeth

       He could teach you, but he’d have to charge!

      • TeamJacobEdward

        …and they’re like, it’s better than yours, damn right, it’s better than yours…. 

        Thanks guys.

  • TeamJacobEdward

    I’m thinking Kristen must have bonded with Big Daddy through the years.  

    And I’m thinking the scene the other day was a little something like this:

    Kristen has been deep into a character immersion of a very crude character that flies off the handle and swears a lot, where she insults people without knowing or caring if the insults are true.  Then she was surfing the web the day because Rob told her to look at his to see if she what the hell it is with official Twi pictures that make him look funny.  She did a search and LTT site came up first.  Being all ragy (is that even a word?) with this character she’s trying to get into, she lost it and got all protective with Daddy.

    Yes, yes, Kristen lovers are going to think I’m a Kristen hater.  Not so…  I don’t partcularly like her, but…

    • MariaCecilia

      Oh oh. I officially declare your comment “KStew-sensitive”. Zone out, followers!

      • TeamJacobEdward

        You don’t think they’ll find humor in it?  Not even the “I don’t particularly like her, but…” Eclipse line part?  *sigh*

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