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New Moon Nudity

Dear guy who I had to look up on imdb because I forget your name Jamie Campbell Bower,

Welcome to the Twilight world- where you make a joke like “just took a dump on Rob Pattinson’s face” over Twitter and twihards all over the world take you seriously and call in UNICEF to intervene in what they think is a humanitarian crisis. OR You say this in an interview:

and end up getting all media & news reports to start discussing the “nudity” in New Moon surely giving Stephenie Meyer a heart attack that her ‘save it for marriage’ textbook called the Twilight saga is causing a scandal big enough to rival Nikki Reed’s sad attempt to prove to the world she is over Rob Pattinson by hooking up with the nastiest Greek shipping heir billionaire she could find. Then busy directors like Chris Weitz up to their eyeballs in post-production woes like editing 200 hours of half-naked guys on film have to waste their time and make a statement about the joke just so crazy fans will calm down, moms will agree that their 12 year olds can see the movie again and will reluctantly cancel their plans to show up at the movie theater with 12 of their closest friends in the sluttiest JC Penny has to offer with a wad of one dollar bills to throw at the movie screen. And you get forced (I’m assuming by Summit, who we love to blame) to tweet this:


Just an FYI, us “normal” fans can take a joke. We never thought it was true and we promise to never be offended at the thought of naked Robert Pattinson. However… I am really disappointed that it was all a joke, and here are my reasons why:










Legal in Georgia

Big Daddy

Big Daddy



Maybe we’ll have better luck in Eclipse?

Phew- It’s a hot cast. That’s what made me decide to post this. And the additions to Eclipse are hot too. Which new hottie is your fav!?

Follow that guy from New Moon Jamie Campbell Bower on twitter!

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Moon gets sappy on Rob over at LTR

pics found on Starpulse.com and fanpop.com and google images


    “Legal in Georgia”

    LMAO ๐Ÿ˜€

    • maygirlg


      Oh and ‘Just Kidding’ – hilar’

      • people thought i made the sicknast bella’s womb, so i figured i’d make sure they knew i was kidding about wanting to see HIM in the buff

        • maygirlg

          Aww..UC, you are the BEST.

          Of course, Moon is the BEST too.

      • JellybeanRainbow

        and …. puppies ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Dani

      I love this site! xD
      “Legal in Georgia”
      All I’m sayin is, I live in Georgia. And I know how to appreciate Taylor’s.. talents. >>

    • Sharpie

      I just practically peed my pants from laughing so hard at the “Legal in Georgia” caption!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Hermes

      DITTO…. “Legal in Georgia”…. Brilliant!
      Puppies was pretty good too.

      Yeah, I bet old Stephie M. shit a brick when the kid mentioned “Nude hot tub scene”… he was joking .. but honestly. Wouldn’t you have loved to have been the fly on the wall when the ” Summit ” PR people went into overdrive to cover for that one!!!
      funny funny funny.

      P.S – A guys “peen” shrivel’s and hides in cold water. There would have really been nothing to see. So I don’t know what the drama would have been all about .


    • I know, right! LOL! I really just snorted just now.

    • Nora

      Yeah, that was the one that made me LOL, too… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Agree with Andrea – Legal in Georgia – LMAO!!!
    And just kidding ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Seriously, I keep having to remind myself that there will be lots of legal eye candy in NM besides Rob. The whole wolf pack (minus Taylor) is hot goodness!
    And also, Xavier Samuel? I can just tell that will be yummy in Eclipse.

    • i know. i wanted to include him, but forgot he’s just in eclipse

  • ROFL! Ahaha. Send yourselves and Tay here to Australia, it’s legal at 16 in all but like, 2 states ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I seriously cannot believe that people though JCB was for reals! Maybe I just have a similar sense of humour?? Did anyone here really believe him??

    Jayde xox

  • “Legal in Georgia” actually made me LOL… in my office!
    *dodging strange looks*

  • Katie S

    I wanted to believe him so bad. Your “reasons” for wanting it to be true are perfect. I love you for making me laugh every day!

    “Just kidding…”


  • dazzledtodeath

    I almost spit tea when I saw “Just kidding” under Michael Sheen’s pic.
    I thought you were trying to be nice by including him.

    That’s a good-looking wolfpack, but Rob has destroyed any possibiity of me finding another man attractive.

    • Katie S

      “Rob has destroyed any possibiity of me finding another man attractive.”

      Agreed! Especially that photo. That bastard…. beautiful bastard… (holla?)

      • Proselyte3


    • He definitely raises the bar.. *sigh*

    • I’m not that nice

    • Jen

      Agreed. Since Rob came into my life, there’s no room for any other hotties. It’s seriously disturbed. It’s like how Edward feels about Bella. I can recognize the beauty, or in this case ‘hotness’ of others-but they just hold no comparison.

  • JodieO

    UC, you absolutely kill me. Just kidding! No, really, you do. I’m going to work without doing my hair again because I was too busy laughing at your post. My priorities are in perfect order.

    Also, is it just me, or does Jamie C Bower look like Toni Collette’s long lost love child?

  • achc

    I LOVE JCB. I love his sense of humour. He’s so serious and believable when he jokes about NM nudity, so I can *kinda* see how some people could’ve believed him, but, come on…. As if there would be nudity. Pffff. We can only dream (Kiowa Gordon – RAWWWWR).

    And the boy was SO told by Summit. That must not have been pretty. Poor boy.

  • sassysmart

    I am so happy I shared that Taytor-Tot is legal in Georgia! HAHA!!!

    And yes, those are all perfect reasons for wanting nekkid scenes in the movie!!

    You know that dude you had to imdb? Yeah, he is playing the young Grindelwald in HP-Deathly Hallows. TOTALLY looks like the sketches and how JK describes him. It’s like she saw him on the street and said “there is a dude that could totally be beautifully evil that Dumbledore will love…all for the greater good!”

    • Holly

      Taytor Tot!

      Bwahahahahah! Love it.

    • YES.. you’re right…. i knew that… and he DOES look like him!

  • ItsLauraHoney

    I swear to the Gods of Schmexy Men Everywhere I’d give my first born and my left tit to catch a glimpse of Kellen, Peetah and Jacksper in their birthday suits.

  • Ya know what? Michael Sheen is a phenomenal actor, of the highest caliber. Not only was he in the Academy Award-nominated Frost/Nixon, he also has a leading role in the most highly anticipated film of 2010. That would be Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” (not Eclipse!).

    So is he hot? Yes. To me he is most definitely enjoyable-looking. Have you SEEN Underworld and Underworld: Rise of the Lycans? Oh my stars, as Lucian he is sexy as all get out. Plus the love he has for his daughter makes him very attractive. Have you seen his Tweets about her? PRECIOUS! Sheen is the real dope deal. He’s totally legit. His presence in New Moon (and in Breaking Dawn) ups that film’s credibility factor exponentially.

    Really…pecs and a chiseled jaw aren’t “it” for me. I’ll take superior talent anyday.

    Is he smokin’ hot as Aro? Heck to the no! Because Aro is not supposed to be hot. Duh.

    I also dig the wolf pack. Don’t know if any of them can act, so that remains to be seen. Summit, for all their drama and insensitivity of late, is not stupid. They’ll pimp that shiz out all over the place by the time fall rolls around. They know how to market a movie…with hot Indian blood, of course.

    p.s. Peter’s gained weight. Don’t tell me I’m the only one who’s noticed it.

    • achc

      Yeah, he has (Peter). I feel horrible for saying this, but have you seen the pictures of him arriving in Vancouver yesterday? Yikes. The hat and sunglasses do nothing for him either.

      Still love papa Cullen though!!!

    • peetah has packed on some poundage yes.

      i love your love for michael but DUDE.. i don’t want to see his… thing

    • Proselyte3

      Leigh Anne…why the crap are we not in the same area code? We need to hang woman.

    • Susan

      He may have gained some… But daaaang… when I met him a month ago and got a hug… It was Fiiiiiiiiine ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Glad someone stepped up for Michael Sheen. I will soapbox it for Peter, though. Extra poundage or not, he is still hot. As for Billy Burke, why can’t they work in a scene where someone catches Charlie showering after a long day of work? Just sayin!

      You definitely had me at “Legal in Georgia” – LMAO!

      • Jen

        After seeing Billy Burke in person, I agree. He should be added to ‘the list’.

        • Katie S

          Agreed. For real.

      • themoonisdown


      • patticat

        Yeah can we start a Team Billy? He is hot for an older dude! I would give him one (but don’t tell Rob)! just sayin……

        • patticat

          or Team Charlie for that matter! lol!

  • *JR*


    “Legal in Georgia” “just kidding…”

    you would think I’d know by now not to drink anything while reading this blog.

  • allryans

    JCB is my new Twilight Saga hottie #2. What an effie cutie he is. British wit notwithstanding.

    I cannot understand how anyone thought there would be Volutripeen in New Moon. In the immortal words of Cher, Dion and Ambular: AS IF!!! Plus, Aro and Marcus = anti-hot. Although the thought of a flashback Volturi Roman Bath scene with Carlisle is freaking rocking my anticipatory socks, so that shit better be for cereal.

    I don’t know what Summit is so worried about anyway. (Full frontal male nudity + TwiFans) / Sexually Frustrated Meyer Readers x the sq root of pi = INFINITY $$ of Twilight Revenue Buckage. In other words, the mathematical equations for including sparklepeen (or hotwolfpeen for that matter) in any of the movies is exponentially in Summit’s favor. Give the CAS what they want! Everyone wins.

    • lapushbaby

      Hey, that is some tricky math there…but I think you are for sure on to something.


    • sassysmart

      (Full frontal male nudity + TwiFans) / Sexually Frustrated Meyer Readers x the sq root of pi = INFINITY $$ of Twilight Revenue Buckage

      I’m not sure that is an equation even Will Hunting could figure out.

  • Jena

    “Nikki Reedโ€™s sad attempt to prove to the world she is over Rob Pattinson by hooking up with the nastiest Greek shipping heir billionaire she could find.”

    I โ™ฅ this! LOL!

    My fave of the “newsies” is Xavier (Riley), he is all kinds of yummy! I also think the guy playing Sam is hot. The rest of the wolfboys do nothing for me

    • Pinky

      I wasn’t feeling Sam at first, but once I heard him speak. Dear Lord…I can’t wait until November!

      Oh yeah and Xavier is totally hot. Excellent casting.

      • Susan

        I totally know what you mean about Chaske/Sam! I really couldn’t picture him as a very good Sam, but when I saw him and Bronson (Jared) they were perfect! Definitely hotties! Even though Chaske is 15 years older than my 19 year old self… But he doesn’t look that much older! haha

  • Pinky

    This was friggin’ hilarious. I swear one day I’m going to have an aneurysm from trying to withhold my laughter at work.

  • “Legal in Georgia”
    “Just kidding…”

    Oh, I just about died! And, hey wait a minute! I may or may not have bought my slutty clothes at JCP! Bitches, they got some good deals!!

    • i felt bad writing that b/c JCpenny is trying so hard to be cool these days.. and i think it might be working. their commercials show some cute stuff..

      but still.. it’s called JC Pennys!

      • I will have you l know my first job was at jcpennys when I was 16 and the man who started the company James cash penny ( that’s his real name) was a great man and great Christian! He lived off of 10 percent of his income and gave 90 percent to the poor.
        But he’s dead now and I’m not a fan of the “Arizona Jeans Co” but that’s just me.

        • themoonisdown

          dang it you beat me to the Arizona Jeans Co punchline. DAMNIT always late to the party

    • lapushbaby

      Dude, I am with you on the deals! I may or may not have bought 2 skirts there recently for $4.97…. (but I’m a fogie, so I’m allowed in there)

  • amylouwho

    Annddd Once again I am LMBO at your post!!
    Did you guys see Petah’s arms in the Twicon pictures? He is lookin’ smokin’ hot!

  • I love Peetah! I think all those guys nekkid at once would probably cause sensory overload. Rob alone would be the death of me for sure.

    Oh what a sweet death it would be though…

  • jazzled

    lmao @

    ‘Legal in Georgia.’ And ‘Puppies’. But you knew that. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • HeyyyBrother

    I started over at LTR this morning and left my first comment ever on that very thought-provoking post… And then swung over to this one and DIED laughing. At work. In a cubicle. So the opposite of discrete.

    “her โ€™save it for marriageโ€™ textbook called the Twilight saga”

    “the sluttiest JC Penny has to offer with a wad of one dollar bills to throw at the movie screen”

    Are you for real with this business?! I love it!

    This post and ALL of the comments that came before me are absolutely hilarious. Thank you for a good morning laugh. Love this place and will continue to come back again and again.

    • yay! you’re christening too! glad to make you laugh!

    • allryans

      I’m assuming “HeyyyBrother” is an AD reference, for which you totally win. YAY for first posts!

    • themoonisdown

      we had to have two sides to the coin today. make you sad and make you laugh your face off. good job UC!

  • Hahaha, LFMAO!! When I got to the picture of Michael Sheen, and read the text “Just kidding..” I laughed so loud the kids jumped!

  • Holly

    I have been laughing too hard for five minutes to calm down enough to type a comment.

    This is the funniest f*cking post ever. ‘Legal in Georgia’ ‘Just Kidding’ ‘Puppies’….You own me, UC. And now I’m going to read it again.

  • Yeah, couldn’t help myself… Tweeted this to @jamiebower, ha.

    I do LOVE that this got everyone so riled up because they couldn’t take a joke! He so he can deliver a line but can we please deliver the TwiHards some common sense in an attempt to lessen these worsening cases of 2nd hand embarrassment!?

    • i saw your tweet! amazing!

      • Haha, oh heck yes! Then private nudity could occur, nudity that wouldn’t have to be shared with anyone… Not that I am devious or anything…

  • sft

    Oh my LTT hilarity is dangerous! I was just scrolling today’s post while doing my hair and when I saw Michael Sheen in there I nearly dropped my curing iron on my lap because I bursted laughing!

  • Proselyte3

    Oh UC, you are ON today chick! That was LOL, stinkin funny! You and Moon are taking us through the full spectrum of human emotions today. I blame summit, annnnnnnnd Rob’s parents.

    • hahaha…. add the Pattinson family to the blame list!

      • Proselyte3

        Damn Straight!

    • SaritaPagita

      I think that the thumbs down is from CPattz or DPattz! I bet they read LTT/LTR daily!

      • Proselyte3

        Hahahaha! No, it’s from Patty the dog. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • LOL…The captions almost made me pee myself…Michael Sheen “Just Kidding” *dies* Hilarious! Also made me think of Bryce Dallas Howard and how she has three names, and Jamie Campbell Bower is named after a girl, a soup can, and a place in New York..oh wait, that’s The Bowery…my bad. Great job UC!

  • Cyn_TR

    That would just be epic!! Every time Taylor comes on the screen Big Daddy should be behind him… shirtless of course! I think this would bring even more screams than Taylor alone!

  • Jenn

    FAVORITE.POST.EVER!!! Esp. Michael Sheen.

    My co-workers are wondering why I am sitting here laughing to myself…

    • magenta

      I have the same problem โ€“ every morning. But my colleagues finally get used to it.

      Think thatโ€™s NORMAL.

  • lapushbaby

    Luckily my coffee is still brewing, so it was not spewed on laptop. Such the epic funny today!

    When I do ruin my laptop with spewed fluids, should I send the bill for the new one to Summit, or Mr and Mrs P?

    • Proselyte3

      Both, and possibly S. Meyer…why has she not had to shoulder some of the blame???? I mean…I HAD A LIFE!

      • lapushbaby

        Excellent point. I even had a pretty great life that involved a lot less time on the computer. I’m sending SMeyers the bill when I need glasses soon, because I swear my eyesight has gotten worse over the last 6 months. Frigging Fan Fiction–you’ve ruined my eyes!!! My eyes!!!!!


      • Proselyte3

        Carpal tunnel, early onset blindness, insanity, what am I missing?

        • lapushbaby

          Familial neglect? Therapy for the children later?

      • magenta

        Youโ€™re so right. What has S. Meyer done to us?

  • Jaybird

    I am all kinds of hot for “Big Daddy”! You kill me UC! Love the post! I wonder what kind of rating NM would get with all that nekkid hotness!? Oh, Oh, I think I should start a fan fic with all the nekkid wolves!!

  • Oh my gosh. I have never laughed this hard at a post in all my months with you guys. I dont have my contacts in so i had to squint to read “legal in georgia” and i started kicking my legs in the air like a little kid being tickled. Then I saw the michael sheen pic and was filled with confusion until I saw the caption. I wish you would warn me so I could have made a “fan reaction video” for this post Who are we kidding SM would LOVE to see some nakie vamp action. She always wondered what it looks like down there. Cold to the touch smooth and hard … as marble… She would say no to it publicly and then beg summit to let the scene in… THEN she would do the ol’ switcharoo and blame it on summit.
    Hell I wouldn’t mind everyone in the movie being naked the whole time. Except Justin Chon. He can stay clothed.

    • patticat

      oh and Mike Welch too! keep it on!

  • brilliant as always ladies… how you keep coming up with ways to top yourself I’ll never know! ha ha ha!

  • Are you sure it’s not real, cause it is in the movie in my head bitches! Me, Eddie in the Van and My Demetrie getting it on…Naked as can be.

    I realize I am making no sense…too much coffee

    PS “sluttiest JC Penny has to offer” hahahhahaha

    • lapushbaby

      “Eddie in the Van”–I snorted.


  • Bellasnemisis

    Love it!!

    You forgot the caveat to the “legal in Georgia” statement. He’s legal in Georgia IF you are related to him.

  • la vie est belle

    Funniest. Captions. Ever. Michael Sheen and “just kidding”. Its mean, but its a good thing we know how to laugh at a joke here at LTT.

    It was all about the Wolf Pack for me this year. Vampires were so 2008. But then I saw Riley. So now its Riley and the Wolf Pack for me.

    • achc

      Yes yes YES!

      Riley + Wolfpack= occular heaven

  • Alice

    i laughed SO hard when i got to Michael Sheen.
    i think i may have snorted….

    as for taylor, i’m glad i live in texas. =)
    i can liquor him up and then have my way with him and it will all be…well kind of…legal.

  • jazzled

    Haha, just got your tweet about who I’d like to see nude (besides Rob of course). I’d answer, but I actually think it might be insulting to your intelligence/observational skills, since most of you guys already know anyway ๐Ÿ˜€

    And btw, I just have to say, I have a friend who has been positively rhapsodizing over the hotness of Michael Sheen, who I have never been bored enough to google. Your picture almost made me jump in alarm. LOL Talk about….NOT what you were expecting. Sheesh.

  • Holly

    I so needed to read this post again after spending time over at the oh so “heavy” LTR today.

  • LMAO
    I love the Legal in Georgia and the just kidding.

    Seriously some people can’t understand dry humor and sarcasm, Why would anyone believe someone who basically was taking a piss(Brit humor) on the reporter.
    I bet Jamie had a laugh when that interview was over. He probably had a bet going to see how fast that news story would come up.

  • RobsButtonsBabe

    hmmm i think i’ll go with kellan if i had to choose one and it not be rob! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • achc

    Just saw your tweet too.

    My answer: Kiowa Gordon

    yes yes YES YES YESSS. Love him.

    Other than that, obviously Rob. Duh. But since we’re not allowed to pick him, I’ll GLADLY settle for Kiowa. Nomnomnom.

  • Kary

    I died laughing at “Just kidding”!
    But come on, he’s not that bad….
    Good thinking leaving Rob for last, it’s like a little reminder you know…puts everything back in perspective =)

    And as for the tweet….not Rob?
    Well, probably Peetah (he!) or Kellan

  • alyssabender1

    Hahahaha you guys always have the most amazing picture captions.

  • Pingback: Peter talks Eclipse fight training and the Twilight cast Team-Twilight()

  • Jena

    How in the hell did I miss Big Daddy in this post? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • achc

      You’re not crazy, he was added later on!


  • Colleen

    I love the fact that I am not the only one who refers to Jackson as “Jax”. But this post was totally wicked. Loved the addition of Big Daddy Lautner.

  • Alejandra

    UC that was the funniest thing, EVER!!!!! My roommates ran into my dorm to see what had me in hysterics. LEGAL IN GEORGIA and Just Kidding, lolololololol! You are a genius!

  • Jamie

    If I had to pick one of them to be naked in new moon it would be pretty much an impossible choice.
    In order:

    The Wolf Pack =]

  • themoonisdown

    SERIOUSLY?! SERIIOUSLY??!! ON FIRE today my friend!

    my exact message to UC as i read it:

    DUDE slutty JCPenny outfits!

    youre killing me!!!!!!!! i love it!

    fave newbies: xaiver (HELLOOOO nurse), kiowa, and the nerdy wolf who’s nama ei dont know.

    PS thank you for including big daddy!


    Dear guy who I had to look up on imdb because I forget your name Jamie Campbell Bower,


    Legal in Georgia!

    Hit the nail on the head. What a dilemma they’ve created for us non teen Twihards! Hopefully he’ll be legal by the time we get the see that fiery kiss in Eclipse.

    P.S. I could actually visualize the grey JC P outfits and the dollar bills flying in the air. Hilarious!!!

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