Tuesday Twilosophy: My confession

twilosophygreenDear Twilosophy 101 Classmates,

Sometimes we like to put aside the funny & have real talk about the deep, meaningful issues of Twilight- because there are so many. Twilight is serious. Just like Tweed. So Twilosophy must be taken seriously. In fact I made an image to accurately reflect the seriousness of Twilosophy.

Moving on, I was recently chatting with The Quad:

EastFriend: You know what I think, “Don’t have sex till you’re married, kids!” But… I wanted Edward and Bella to do it. I was literally breathless during those parts of the book…dying…

And then I threw my copy of Eclipse across the beach when she kissed Jacob. And admitted to Edward that she loved Jacob–“but I know whom I love more.” I kid you not, like a 3 year old having a tantrum, I flung that book across the sand, in disgust…going, “STUPID BEOTCH!” I then sat there for a good minute before picking it up and beginning to read again. Love me through it. (And yes, that copy of Eclipse–I have 3–still has sand in it. No lie.)

UC:  I wanted her to get it on with Jacob for a quick second.

WestFriend: UC……I could kick you for that remark.
I am with EastFriend…I literally threw my book across the floor too. I did. I yelled in agony too. I said, “Oh no she did NOT!” and then told my family I wasn’t crazy. And then kept reading.

EastFriend: Ewwwww. You did not! I  mean, yeah he’s cute and warm and cuddly and semi-sexy. But not for one minute did I want her to even put her lips near his. Nope. Not at all.

UC: I didn’t want it. until he DID it. until he kissed her. Then i wanted it. Then i was mad. And felt ashamed. Just like Bella. I AM Bella, clearly. Minus the bad cover-up mullet-wig.

I’ll confess, and this is hard for me knowing the ridicule and scorn I’ll receive from my beloved readers (it’ll be like any time KStew makes a fashion decision without the help of a stylist or how TammyO is treated in her real life that causes her to be so cruel on LTT), but I wanted Bella to kiss Jacob back!

My kind of shirt

My kind of shirt

I did. I wanted the kiss to happen. I wanted it to be hot. I wanted there to be tongue. I wanted there to be grinding up against each other (Clearly I needed to get laid that day) And I wasn’t disappointed. Until I remembered Edward. And how I had been thinking about how I wanted HIM to grind up against me Bella a chapter earlier. And I felt torn. And confused. And unsure of what to do. So I re-read the kiss part and tried to ignore those feelings for a few more seconds.

I’m not alone right!? There are other Team Edward members who think it would be fun to dabble in a little Team Jacob action from time to time, right? RIGHT!?I mean, I know Bella agrees. She liked that kiss- she CRIED over that kiss. And she’s the biggest Team Edward fan around!

Well, I did a little asking around in hopes that I would find an underground community of avid Team Edward members who occasionally had a little daytime fantasy about Jacob:

TooFarGone: I didn’t want Bella to kiss Jacob, in fact it kind of makes me sick when I think back to that part of the book. Mostly I just was super annoyed with Bella for being such a hussy, leg-hitching with Edward in one scene and then making out with Jacob in another… MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND WOMAN. I’ll probably love the kiss in Eclipse for just what it is – someone making out with super-smoking-hot-and-finally-legal-in-all-states-including-Georgia Taylor Lautner.

Forget TooFarGone! Who needs her?

Brooke: Perfect timing since I just reread Eclipse. I HATE BELLA in this book. I really felt for her in New Moon, and I understood the friendship with Jake. HOWEVER, once she accepted Edward back into her life, she needed to see let go of Jake. He had stronger feelings for her than she him. It wasn’t right for her to lead him on.

When Bella kisses Jake in the woods, she is cheating on Edward. She committed her life to Edward and accepted his proposal. She CHEATED on her fiance. She is a selfish bitch in this story and I wished that Edward would have been more upset. What made me feel even more sick was Bella being hysterical with Edward after she sees Jake to tell him she’s made her choice. How could she make Edward doubt that she made the right choice? I do not accept that she was in love with Jake. When you are going to spend FOREVER with a person and you are willing to give up everything for that person (or in normal people terms, get married) you shouldn’t be feeling those types of strong feelings for another person. If you are, you shouldn’t be getting married or becoming an immortal. Her feelings of hating herself are completely justified at the end of the book, but yet she brought that totally on herself. Edward shouldn’t have been so accommodating to her.

Can you tell that I’m a scorn woman? I need a hug.

Remind me to stay out of Brookie’s way. NEXT

Moon: No way in HALE do I want Bella to kiss Jacob in Eclipse (the book) cause she has the face Edward in the tent after and that pretty much breaks both of their hearts! AND MINE!! I want to slap some sense into her stupid head in that book because she acts like a lunatic without a brain. She’s made a decision to be committed to Edward but then “all of a sudden” is kissing Jacob. She makes it seem as if it was unavoidable and she had no choice but to kiss him. Yes you have a choice Bella and you chose wrong!

(the end)



NOW if we’re talking the movie version of Eclipse…. HALE YES there better be a kiss in the movie version of Eclipse if not that will be the biggest box tease in the history of film. If I’m being honest I want them to kiss in New Moon but will settle if we get a hot one in eclipse. I mean hello you can’t not have them kiss in the movie.

Don’t you love double standards!?

Sigh….am I really alone? Kristin? Please!?

Kristin: Oh yes, I wanted them to kiss.

YAY! I KNEW I could find someone!

Kristin: (Not done yet) because I wanted her to completely feel icky about it afterward and them not feel the spark…sigh. I was pissed however that Edward was all but saying that Bella should just go with him because he didn’t deserve her…whatever. EDWARD, you are..uh..EDWARD, stop with all the insecurities. I digress. I will say that something wasn’t right, and I called it during New Moon when they told about imprinting (Or was that in Eclipse? they all run together sometimes) and I noticed that even though he loved her, wanted to be with her, they never said that he imprinted. I was all: something is fishy here….

Something IS fishy here!! I am …. ALONE!? I don’t do well alone guys… First of all I sing to myself. Secondly I’m a little paranoid. Picture this: Buttcrack Santa in a boat at a fishing wharf singing to himself. Now replace Buttcrack Santa with a slightly more attractive female (only slightly more attractive though- he’s a pretty good looking guy, you gotta admit) Now picture that girl singing “Mama said you gonna have to make a kitty meowww” alone. Paranoid. That’s how I feel right now.

Please tell me I’m not alone! PLEASE!

Who’s there?,

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