How to Tweet, our letter to @Twilight

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Dear @Twilight (the official Twilight Twitter account),

We gotta hand it to you, when you first launched the account yesterday you were off to a blazingly good start. I mean you did all the stuff you should: you had Chris Weitz submit the first tweet, kinda like breaking a bottle of champagne on the bow of a yacht… only this was more like breaking a bottle of Bud Light on a Ford Festiva, but I digress. Then he shilled out some tidbits like official run time and a news bit about the 1st scene being shown on ET next week. All stuff we didn’t know and loved to hear… But to be honest it reads A LOT like a corporate Twitter (HIT IT) and that’s just no good for us fans. While I understand the necessity of it being so-called “professional” may I suggest adding a little PIZAZZ to your tweets, you know just add a little life to what you’re saying… LTT style? We’ll even be so helpful as to rewrite your initial ones and instruct you on the various types of Tweets so you can just sub them out…

So to begin, (I need my laser pointer and Twilight “business” documents folder) there are 6 types of Tweets:

Types of tweets

1. Informational
2. Twitpic
3. Exclusive
4. Oh crap we’re in deep shiz
5. Retweet
6. Reply
   

The Informational tweet– involves relaying some type of message or link to information your followers might be interested in. These can be the most bland and probably need a little creative license to spice up… take for example:

Original:
From Chris Weitz – At sound mixing stage… introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble.4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

LTT-ed:
CDublious in da house @ sound stage introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble . Not that u will notice it next 2 their bare chests 4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

another example…

Original:
Kristen’s on the cover of Allure – http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz What do you think of her pics?about 5 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Our lead actress pontificates about stuff in a mag & makes us reconsider this casting 4 the umpteenth time. Check it http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz

Follow the cut to read our tips for @Twilight

The jokes write themselves people. CW makes it TOO easy for us!

The TwitPic Tweet – involves tweeting the link to an image. Since we can only assume you’ll never twitpic anything juicy like say a secret makeout sesh between Justin Chon and Mike Welch at the premiere afterparty or a picture of the room number of Robsten’s room in Vancouver I’m gonna say you need to rely on adding the funny to the text that accompanies your pics. For example take this seemingly normal pic of our fave DILF, director Chris Weitz give him free reign and see what he comes up with:

Original:
http://twitpic.com/lafux – From Chris Weitz – The sound mixing stage!4:16 PM Oct 12th from TwitPic

LTT-ed:
http://twitpic.com/lafux C Dub here: i totes got her blinking yall, cause I GET YOU! The stuttering/blinking. Trust me, it wasn’t that hard 4:16 PM Oct 12th from TwitPic

The Exclusive Tweet – This involves information/pictures/gossip that NO ONE else has aka the stuff you should be doling out on the daily. This would also be a good time to work in some sort of endorsements or sponsorships to make some extra moola.

"Untitled Sports Movie" I mean exclusive TWILIGHT pic

Original:
http://twitpic.com/lbc1p – A Twitter exclusive!about 22 hours ago from TwitPic

LTT-ed:
http://twitpic.com/lbc1p Exclusive! Edward stands next to a Ford Taurus looking totes photoshopped w/a qtip head oh and those other 2 actors r in it about 22 hours ago from TwitPic

And viola: Ford Taurus, Qtip and Adobe Photoshop sales skyrocket. See what I did there?! Trust us Summit, we know what we’re doing!

The Oh crap, we’re in deep shiz Tweet: This is reserved for those times where the shiz has most definitely hit the fan. Either Cathy was caught with a very young castmember at a TGIFridays Happy Hour or something like Robsten love texts have been leaked. We usually try to turn this kind of tweet around and make it (surprise) funny or at least acknowledge the ef up with some sarcasm.

Original:
Due to overwhelming demand, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON soundtrack is being released this Friday!about 6 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Some assclown pirates leaked the soundtrack early (no surprise there) so we’ll be releasing it this Friday in an attempt to try and save the sales #s

Edward doesn't like downloaders!

Follow up tweet:
FYI Edward will never love u if u download the soundtrack 4 free. FYI! Choose wisely. He can read minds. Don’t even THINK about it!

Retweet Tweet: Someone tweeted something interesting to you and you want to share their genius with the rest of your followers. Ok, so you haven’t quite figured out how to pick out the “genius” from the mundane but we’ll let it slide on your 2nd day of tweeting. We would have reworked the RT with a little zinger comment at the beginning. Witness:

Original:
RT @Saawariya119 @Twilight She looks awesome on the Allure pics. Her eyes are fabulous.. she´s so versatile.

LTT-ed:
By versatile u mean bitchy? RT @Saawariya119 @Twilight She looks awesome on the Allure pics. Her eyes are fabulous.. she´s so versatile.

OR

we can’t think of a PC answer so we’ll just RT this RT @Saawariya119 @Twilight She looks awesome in Allure pics. Her eyes are fabulous shes so versatile

Remember this Summit? Bet that was good times at your office that day!

Reply Tweet- this one is a reply disguised as a RT. So when folks like RobstenLatino ask you questions you can reply to them with a saucy response using all your wit and charm. Ok, ok we’ll teach you wit and charm in another letter. Chiggity check this:

Original:
Yup! Pretty psyched. RT @RobstenLatino @Twilight new moon is number one trending topic! did you see that? 🙂
about 5 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Wait, theres a RobstenLATINO? Shouldn’t that be Robertosten? RT @RobstenLatino @Twilight new moon is number one trending topic! did you see that? 🙂
about 5 hours ago from web

So that’s your crash course @Twilight! See with our simple ideas how easy and FUN it really can be? We’ll be keeping close tabs on you the next few weeks to see if you put any or our tactics into practice! Happy Tweeting!

A Tweet a day keeps the fangirls away!
Themoonisdown

PS We’ll talk about who you’re following on another day!

So any tips for @Twilight? What do you think of their tweets so far?

Are you following @Twilight on twitter? DO IT! Also if you’re not you really should be following LTT/LTR!
What are the 5 signs a woman in your life is addicted to Rob/Twilight? Check it at LTR
Share your twitter tips in the forum!