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Twilight & Religion

Dear Twilosophy Class,

Moon & I have made enough DC Talk references & basically figured out a way to text-represent the motions to “Lord I lift your name on High” that you must have figured out by now that we have a Christian background. It’s true- we were brought up in Christian homes which immediately makes sense to a bunch of you, confuses another group of you and turns the rest of you off.

We make Twilight-related Christian jokes sometimes that we know only those who can relate will get. Which is a shame b/c they are REALLY REALLY FUNNY.

Anyway, I got this t-shirt from my Bro-in-law who once brought my husband a t-shirt back from an abstinence conference that said “Lights, Camera, NO ACTION” with a director’s chair on the front. And after laughing hysterically and deciding which activity at church I’d wear it to, I sighed and wondered why religion had to be brought into everything. Can’t I just enjoy a book about vampires without someone making it into a Jesus-eternity reference? Apparently not. Please enjoy my t-shirt, found in the bargain bin at a Christian bookstore:

"What would people think if they hear that I'm a Twilight Freak" (and yes, I am wearing jorts)

Yep. That says “Jesus is THE LIGHT of the world” in the Twilight font and “because of Him You can Live Forever.” What!? It’s not because of Edward biting me than putting a syringe filled with venom into my heart that I can live forever!? I don’t care WHAT your religious beliefs are, any religious group using Twilight to get “Down with the kids” is just as bad as Burger King Edward crowns, Twilight maxi-pads & Volturi credit cards.

Why does this shirt exist? Is it because an pastor’s kid got a little too obsessed with Edward that she started thinking about HIM during nightly prayer? And then her dad, the pastor, called up his old roommate from seminary who runs a “ministry” selling Christian pop-culture t-shirts? Or was it the spurred on by the Pastor’s WIFE who brought vampire cupcakes to the Sunday afternoon potluck for new church members? And later that night she suddenly wanted to spice up their 23 year routine “missionary position” with a little biting of the neck and headboard banging? (*Waving hi to my favorite Pastor’s wife who frequents LTT!*)

There’s a site I go to when I feel like getting mad at the super conservative elements of my upbringing that I won’t dignify with a link because it doesn’t deserve it, but in their review of Twilight they pointed out the negative elements including:

Buttcrack-Santa NEGATIVE? Not-uh. You did NOT go there. That’s enough to make me renounce my faith RIGHT there.

Mormons, a video & a quote you DON’T want to miss, after the jump!

Almost every time the media talks about Stephenie Meyer & the Twilight series, they mention her Mormon faith. Why? I had NO idea Stephenie was Mormon when I first read the series. Sure- Edward & Bella don’t get it on until they are married, but I just assumed they were her values & plus- weren’t the books for kids? Her sons are approaching the teenage years. She didn’t want to give any girls any good ideas to try out on the her & Nacho’s offspring! If I ever have kids, I’m locking them up from ages 11-28. I don’t know about you.

Before I met a bunch of amazing Mormon gals from writing these blogs, I didn’t know ANYTHING about Mormonism- and there is nothing that strikes me as Mormon about Stephenie’s books. So why does the media ALWAYS mention it? Stephenie wrote from her experience. She’s a Mormon. So what? She and Nacho waited until THEIR Isle Esme (Sandals Jamaica ’97 baby!) to get it on. I assume. I’m going to ask her next week (no I’m not) Just like I write from my experience & occasionally drop in an Avalon joke that only other Christians might catch (I can’t live a day without…… LTT)

Speaking of Mormons, this was sent to us LONG ago from Mormon-LTT Forum Mod who we love lots, Emmeloowhoo. You will die. I did:

I thought I had it all figured out- the whole Twilight & religion thing. Twilight isn’t meant to say anything about religion- Mormonism or otherwise. It’s a book about a girl who meets a boy who happens to be a vampire. They fall in love. They eventually get it on & made a demon child. What else is there to get?

But I was wrong, and when we received this email last week, I felt convicted:

Dear Sirs: I read the first book because I wanted to see what the youngsters were on about. I have seen the movies as well, as I want to be educated. I will not waste my dollars any more. I am saddened at Bella’s eagerness to give up her eternal salvation by converting to being a Vampire, all in the name of love. This message is dire to the population of our youth. I wrote Miss Meyer with the same above message in the hopes that she will reflect and change them message in the unwritten ending of the Twilight Saga. I also remember the quote: “Evil wins when good men say nothing.” youth. I am writing this to Miss Meyer in the hopes that she will reflect and change the message in the unwritten ending of the Twilight Saga. I also remember the quote: “Evil wins when good men say nothing.” Signed Donna Z Cetsh*

I have also written the following message under separate cover:

Subject: The Consumption of Human Blood and Flesh

I want the world to know how I feel: Quote: “I am worried about the complacency of the world about the consumption of human blood and flesh being taught through the Saga “Twilight” because it is a gross abomination to God who forbids it. It would appear to me that Bella, Edward, Jacob or Stephanie Meyer do not have a testimony of God”. Signed: Donna Z Cetsh*

What more can I say? God forbids Twilight….


No he doesn’t. That woman is CRAY-CRAY to the MAX.

*is not her real name but is her real letter

But what do you think? Do you think Steph’s writing is a secret ploy to make everyone who isn’t a Mormon? Or does the media just try to start something? What about YOUR religion? Do they talk about Twilight like mine does? Do you want to buy my shirt? I’ll sell it to you for $100.00 .

Business Time: Comment today! It’s the last day to be entered to win a tshirt from our LTT_LTR store!

Do you miss MidnightCyn? She’s a great commenter that I know many of you love and is unable to be on LTT for awhile due to a surgery she had yesterday. She wants to keep in touch, so if you want her email address, please email us!

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Voters will find that “My Choice” will appear under the group photo, and that should confirm the vote.

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  • natashadushi

    I voted for your friend yesterday on facebook. Good luck to her!

    • themoonisdown

      Texting mobile commenting from Bberry. Ignore me or don’t!

  • I think it’s just a media thing.
    I don’t see how her religion has anything to do with it. Like you said, UC, it was written from her dream. Nothing about religion. Yes, it’s mentioned but it’s hardly a massive plot point.

    • krazykidd

      I agree with you Jade…i too come from a Christian background but to be quite honest with you, if you have your values and morals and your strong in your beliefs Twilight should not affect you in such a way. I mean you have to know the difference between fiction and reality right? Some of these peeps take it to a whole new level though and they’re the ones that give other Christians a bad name.

      • Both this comment and Jayde’s kick asss. Just sayin

  • SarahG

    Dude!!! Tweedlosophy on a Friday!!! My heard hurts from so much serious conversation. All I gotta say is, I live in the Bible Belt, so yes I have seen that shirt. Where, might you ask? Why only the local gas station of course! Gotta spread God to everybody and what better place than a gas station!

    Please tell me someone has seen the one about Jesus friend requesting you on Facebook.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention Twilight & Religion | Letters to Twilight -- Topsy.com()

  • I’m an atheist and frankly, nothing in Stephenie Meyer’s books came off as religious to me. I think Stephenie really just wrote from her own experience and managed to capture teenage romance quite well.

    Imagine if Stephenie Meyer HAD written Twilight from a distinctly mormon point of view. Perhaps Bella would have met Edward in bible study instead of in Biology, and Edward can tell her many stories of the 37 missions he’s already been on. Ha! *hopes she’s not the only one that finds this funny*

    Other than that, is the fact that Europeans find all this realigious zealousness in America entertaining the reason why we have the image of being snouty? Just curious.

    • tuesdaymidnight

      Nah, it’s because you call soccer “football.” 😉

      Kidding, kidding. I find the zealousness entertaining, too. Though, when you live closer to it, there’s a point where entertaining becomes frightening.

      • That’s because calling soccer football makes total sense. There’s a ball. You kick it with your foot. Depending on your ability to kick it in the right direction, you’re good at football. You guys have a sport named football, in which you carry the ball around in your arms. Explain to me why on earth you’d call that football. It should be called armball.

        • lapushbaby

          I am calling it ArmBall from now on.

          I grew up in the US, but my parents are European and Atheists, so I just wanted to say, BellaNAA, I’m with you….My father finds it all entertaining, until things tip over into intolerance, then he becomes rabid.

        • Lovintherain

          We started calling it Throwball. It makes sense, and allows us to differentiate between it and real football.

    • i have no idea what snouty means. does that mean we view you as having pig snouts?

      i happen to love that Europe has no concept of the crazy Christian things because I get less embarrassed.. although you are missing out on a LOT of laughs!

      • Snouty as in, we act like we are sooo much cleverer and sophisticated than you are.

        It is indeed too bad that we don’t get any religious crazies here. It’d be great for some laughs! Closest I ever got to religious crazies was when I once saw the pope on Sunday in the Vatican. Everyone around me seemed normal. Except for the girl that wasn’t wearing shoes. In January.

        • The Old One

          Snooty. We say snooty. “Closest I ever got to religious crazies was when I once saw the pope on Sunday in the Vatican.” If you ended your thought there, I would be laughing so hard, but then you were talking about the girl with no shoes. Oh, right, yes, that’s crazy!

      • You need a great sense of humour when you experience it 1st hand. The first time someone stops you outside highschool to ask you about your soul, it’s fun to tell them you look lost because you just skipped Maths to smoke weed, not because you contemplate life after death. But it’s getting less funny as you run out of good answers after a week or two.

    • Edward’s 37 missions he’s already been on? That may be the funniest Twilight/Mormon reference I have ever heard!!! Total big puffy hearts from me for that one.

      I think we live in a society that wants to declare separation of church and state at the top of its lungs…yet ties everything possible back into religion. Makes no sense to me.

  • I love how this letter from “Donna” assumes that vampires are automatically evil. First crazy lady, vampires arent real, and therefore can neither be evil or not evil. Get over it.

    • oops I said “First” and didnt have a “second” points.

      Second, if she had actually read the books, she would know that the Twilight vampires are vegetarians and dont “consume of the flesh” of humans. Just sayin’

    • MariaCecilia

      Rachel B, I agree with you, but in all fairness to this woman, before you read Twilight, had you ever heard about a GOOD vampire? I mean, like, the concept of a vampire is a mythical creature that lives off human blood, yikes, how can such a thing NOT be evil?

      (“Vegetarian vampire”? Isn’t that a contradiction in terms? Do they live off carrot blood now? Oh, did you ever read Margaret Atwood’s “The Edible Woman” by the way? Speaking of carrot blood.)

      But we should not be surprised that people who are literal-minded and fanatical about something, be it a religious faith or other conviction, lack a certain sense of humor and proportion and may miss the finer points. Do you remember the outrage from some Christian sources when Harry Potter came along? Banned for encouraging kids to participate in Black Magic and whatnot? Please!

      I am a Christian, I have no problems with Twilight, vampires, werewolves, abstinence or non-abstinence, as long as it is a good read. Of course we can discuss the pros and cons of Bella as a female role model or her relationship with Edward as potentially abusive or not but it never takes the reading pleasure away. Hello, it is fiction and fantasy, people! I will leave the rest of the religion discussion for another time…

  • HeartForMichaelNeckForEdward

    I am a pastor’s wife (not sure if I am your favorite one UC-but I should be) and I love Twilight and LTT!
    Your christianese references totally crack me up!

    • ohhhh!!!! Beeks told me you are an LTT reader but I’ve totally missed connecting your comments to YOU if you have commented before!!! Squee!! Hi :):) And no.. I didn’t mean you, but I do now! I HAVE TWO FAV PASTOR WIFE READERS!

      • HeartForMichaelNeckForEdward

        I’ve commented a few times- sometimes I can’t resist. Keep up the good work 🙂

      • Proselyte3

        Pfft. 😉

  • yellow911t

    We Jews invented vampires in the Old Testament…notice how people like Abraham, Noah, and Moses all lived for hundreds of years? They were vampires.

    Also, this is what comes up when you google “Jews and Twilight”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Dyc3PhBLeo

    LOL! “Bella, we made bacon for you.”

    • LOL! Moses the vampire! He had special vampire powers, too. No?

    • Brooke Lockart

      This is why I am a bad Jew, I so didn’t know we invented vamps. I’m so ‘cited about these new bragging rights!

    • Just watched the video! Story of my life.

      I love the part where “James” says “You brought a Catholic” LOL!!!!

      and the challah bread instead of an apple on the book cover!!!!

      “I know what you are” “say it, outloud” “Jewish”

    • Come to think of it, I actually once invented a whole theory about Jesus being a vampire going into hiding with the Volturi. If you’re interested in my crazy: http://notanaddikt.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-think-im-on-to-something.html

      • The Old One

        There’s something strangely compelling about your argument.

  • Vampire cupcakes to the potluck! I would SO do this! Although, I’d say it’s already been done.

    I was raised a Christian too. Early on, a very conservative one. I still think religion, Christianity in particular, loves to get a foot in with any pop culture phenomenon. Why, I still can’t figure out. Can’t they come up with their own appeal?

    Vampires are fictional. Meyer is NOT condoning drinking blood/eating flesh/immortality because it is PRETEND! And any person who would be swayed to believe in such things just by reading these books was probably at least halfway there anyway. Jeez, people. Read a story, be entertained and leave it at that.

    PS. I can’t open the audio/video file thing. Won’t load. Just me?

  • superhumanmoron

    That shirt is win.

  • tuesdaymidnight

    Thank you! I’ve never understood why people feel the need to point out that Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon, either. Granted, most of what I know about Mormonism comes from South Park, one of my friends who left the Mormon church, and a conversations I had with a couple Mormon teenagers going to door to door with pamphlets (those boys knew the Bible forward and backward, I tell you). But, I think trying to connect Twilight to Stephenie Meyer’s faith is just too much of a stretch. Mormonism seems to have a stigma in our culture and a negative stereotype that is largely based on the now-banned practice of polygamy.

    If there are any moral lessons in Twilight, they’re fairly generic ones.

    And, if religious groups of any type want to condemn Twilight because Vampires are creatures of the damned? My only response is that SMeyer’s vampires aren’t *real* vampires.

    • MariaCecilia

      Hm, I thought the whole “Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon, that’s why she won’t let Bella and Edward have sex”-discussion was a European thing, because we are fairly secularized countries and therefore tend to make the connection “religion=no sex” and see all religion as alien and life-denying. (I am a Christian so I get that all the time..)

      Is it really a discussion in the US, too? I thought abstinence in teenagers would seem fairly Normal to y’all since conservative Christians appear to make a lot of noise and have their values upheld as the desirable ones in American society in general? (Even if a lot of people only pay lip service, I’m sure?)

      • tuesdaymidnight

        I’m probably not the person to answer these questions, but I do know that there is an ongoing debate about teaching abstinence in schools as a part of sex-ed curriculum. Of course, when I was a kid, they didn’t teach sex-ed at all. They just made us watch a movie of a woman giving birth in health class. *shudder*

        But, generally speaking, the way morality gets treated in the United States is… peculiar. Religion sometimes seems like more of a socio-political tool than anything to do with spirituality or faith.

  • Moonbeam

    Twilight isn’t about religion. I mean, think about it — this story resonates with girls in Indonesia, in Saudi Arabia, in Japan. Twilight is about how girls feel all the time, no matter what religion. We feel like prey, particularly when we’re teenagers. We long for and admire those men who don’t let themselves think of us that way. Men who want to protect us from the predators around us. And who among us hasn’t had a guy friend who liked us as more than friends, and we struggled to still be friends with him? It’s based in a universe that’s unreal, but it has very real themes. Sure it’s cool ’cause of the vampires and the werewolves, but the book is about the unique collective experience of females — in just about any society, and any religion.

    • Obava

      Nice and deep (twss!).

      You have actually brought up some valid points about Twilight I’ve not heard before 🙂

    • same

      This! Exactly! Please some one send this to Oprah’s’people! This is what “it” is about. We are not all Twimoms with weird red carpet things. The “it” to get about Twilight is that it resonates with people across the globe, regardless of race, socio-economic status, religion… It is universal enough to appeal to someone from Bangledesh and someone from Bangor, Maine. And the amazing thing about a lot of the fandom, and all of LTT, is how inclusive and welcoming we can be. We don’t care if Stephenie’s’Mormon, Methodist, Buddhist, Rastafarian, whatever. We don’t care who or what you are. We just have this cool story to share. Ok, shutting now.

    • Love this!

    • allryans

      Nice post!

    • persephone

      Holy tweed! I’m impressed. 🙂

  • Candy

    I love the message the books send! I love that Edward is a 100+ year virgin! Bella is a virgin at 18 – rare. It allowed another opportunity to discuss abstinence with my 3 daughters. I don’t worry about them giving up their souls for love – because vampires are NOT real!(ouch, it hurt to say that) Some people just want a reason to bitch. Now I’m feeling all bitter. grrrrrr

    • Jem

      I agree…also the reason for saving the virginity is not buried under a load of religious jargon but is actually relatable… even for atheists.

  • Tigerkitten36

    Isnt everything always come back to religion?

    I personally dont have much experience with churches but what I have experianced and learn things that have made me think what the …?
    I dont understand that video at all. LOL

    I was friend with a 7 day aventist years ago and I watch her go crazy and all tramp like once the parents released chains she was under. My husband worked at a church for a time and we saw/hear lots of stuff that would make you cringe. All in the name of God.

    Dont forget Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker with their lavish spending (gold toilets – anyone)

    My concerns with Twilight is the obsessive relationship between Bella and Edward with his stalking behavior. In RL isnt would not be considered a “Healthy” relationship. Young girls reading this is going to want an “Edward” in her life because she may think thats how’s its supposed to be.

    I think some of us ….ahem* older ladies (ones without a teen in the number) enjoy the story because we REMEMBER what it was like with our first crush, love but we have the experience to know better.

    • SarahG

      Dude!!!! (please forgive me, I’m saying that A LOT lately for some reason) My friends are in total agreement with you! I understand the point, but at the same time I want to scream at them that it’s fiction! I didn’t go around casting spells after I read Harry Potter or killing people Hunger Games style so I could “survive.” I know those books are fiction! My friends don’t even want to go to Eclipse now because they are so “over it.” I just think there is a line between being an “obsessed” fan and being and obsessed fan. I would hope I could enjoy the story for what it is and not take ANY of it too seriously including, but not limited to, thinking vamps are real and that Edward is exactly how a men should be.

  • chochang

    hello. i’m catholic (though not truly devout). i know it’s just a reference but sometimes, i find it slightly (offensive? disrespectful?) disturbing whenever we refer to rob, kristen and taylor as the ‘Holy Trinity’. i don’t know. or maybe i’m just picturing padre giving that homily on blasphemy a few years ago. arrgh. kinda the same way i react when i see people on streets using rosaries as fashion accessories. i mean, that’s sacrilege people and rosaries aren’t even supposed to be worn. aye~~

    it’s ok if u ‘thumb down’ me. i kinda feel like doing that to myself actually..

    • haha no thumbs down here! i’m sure SOME would find that sacrilegious.. I don’t… there are some things that we could say that I WOULD though (i cant’ think of a single example- it’s Friday) so I think it’s just all your experience….!

      • Sj

        Downsthumbing is totally against my religion. Unless of course it is a declared downsthumbing day in celebration of something, like KStew is a hobo day.

        • aleisha

          Downsthumbers suck.

        • Alice_NaA

          thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Obviously there were no downsthumbers those days.

    • ms.J

      Its OK sweetie, its just your Catholic guilt making a resurgence. No need for thumbs downing yourself – we’re all tolerant here 🙂

      • chochang

        hey thank u all! 🙂 yep i think it’s just pretty much the guilt. being catholic is difficult. so many tight rules.

  • Lovintherain

    Most of my running group was reading the saga at the same time. When we were all reading Eclipse we would talk about the books as we ran. One of my friends kept insisting that Bella would end up with Jacob because SM was Mormon and so she would never allow Bella to become a vampire- too much sin. This would never have crossed my mind…I was raised Catholic, but am not religious. I was just hoping for true love to conquer all.

    • TeamSeth

      Twilight exercise group?! This is quite possibly the most brilliant thing to happen, ever. I officially love you for this.

      Hey Beaver, put on your Nikes. Let’s do this! We can work up to a 5k for the summer…and wear matching I Run With Vampires shirts. (ps-Urban Race is tomorrow!)

      • Lovintherain

        That is a great plan! We did a relay for a marathon and called our team Run Like a Cullen. I also teach pilates and spin classes….and sometimes I play the NM soundtrack. Only problem is that I can’t stop singing while it plays.

        • TeamSeth

          You’re just working/stretching your vocal muscles! Isn’t that what pilates is about? Working and stretching your muscles…
          Also, if you switch to the Eclipse OST, you won’t know the lyrics just yet 😉

      • Slapping The Beaver (a Unicorn)

        TS, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a better idea! I love the ‘I run with vampires t’s’ idea, how perfect is that?

        • TeamSeth

          We can put ‘Cuz I’m fast. on the back 😉

          • thischickrunswithvampires

            It’s not because of my name, and I’m not a runner (yet…this could inspire me), but I love this! I so want this shirt, especially with the “‘cuz I’m fast” on the back. So good!

  • chochang

    may i just say.. the “jacob” in that mormon video reminded me of perez hilton.. hahaha

  • Obava

    You ARE my religion now.

    xo obava

  • Somebodyelse

    Love the t-shirt and the video!

    I for one didn’t notice any subliminal Mormon messages in Twilight. Just a media thing I suppose, trying to find an interesting angle on SMeyer.

    Anything that can connect millions of females can’t really have a blatant religious/political/ideological message, it just wouldn’t work. Twilight is based on experiences that are shared by everyone, because we’re all human.

    RE: “Donna”, worried about the ‘complacency’ of the consumption of human flesh and blood? What the effff??
    I want to be a vampire so much, I’m going to go chew on my arm. Om nom nom. =/

  • You can make ANYTHING about religion. Anything. Seriously.

    I have a deep respect for religious people. I went to church for years. Recently quit because… well, I’m lazy. And I SWEAR it’s like a cult sometimes. Freaks my shit out. I’m FAR too liberal to fit into this Bible belt I live in and I cringed when the pastor would diss my president. Can’t take it. Plus I live in “sin”. NOT their favorite person.

    I DO think Twilight has a not-so-secret moral of the story. Everything does. Most writers don’t just WRITE. They have something that they think is important and put it in their books. It can be antigovernment, religious, or even the type of soda to drink. It’s perfectly fine with me.

    Kids will take what they want out of this series. Who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t have been knocked up at 17 if I knew that a vampire was abstinent… HAHAHHAAH! That’s hilarious. I needed birth control not another damn restriction. Oh well, life is what you make it, regardless of the what the Mormon vampire author has to say. 😉

  • suzyb49

    Donna Z Cetsh don’t be so pleased with your own, like… self-reverential cleverness. Like, some girls like vampire stories. Not all girls, apparently.

    Sandals Jamaica ’94

    • TeamSeth

      I just read this comment again forgetting that I’d already read it. It’s so win. I laughed so hard (twice).

    • Heidi’sMom

      Oh my word, Funniest. Comment. EVER!

  • MelisSaa

    I have been lurking for a while now, but that video demands a comment. Hysterical!!! I am immediately forwarding a link to this post to all of my Mormon friends. They will L-O-V-E it!

    Growing up, many of my closest friends were Mormon. I think the majority of this country still views this religion as a cult since they have no firsthand understanding or experience of Mormonism…other than the missionairies that inevitably show up on your doorstep at some point. When I found out that SM was Mormon I was pleasantly surprised! I would never have guessed it having read the books and that is EXACTLY how it should be since these are a work of fiction.

  • Pfluffy

    Obviously the cray-cray letter lady. and others like her, just don’t get Twilight, at least how I feel about it. Has nothing to do with religion, but everything to do with first love and fantasy; whether your 13 and you can imagine what it will be like or your 32 and you remember was it was like. Throw in some vampire and werewolf lore to make it a little more interesting and BAM you have the Twilight phenom – then everyone want to throw in their opinion.

  • Brooke Lockart

    Please ask Stephenie if Bella was changed before giving up her V-card, would she be stuck with a hymen forever? (this happened in true blood, just curious).

    • Sj

      Brooke, Brooke, Brooke, there may be many here that would burn me at the stake in a totally non religious fervour, but I will always contend that Bells gave it up to Jacob just before the big fight in Eclipse. Go on, throw those matches…..

    • Sj

      Oh, just read your comment properly (oops, 3 hour car trip before logging on). This is a question that bugs me. Also, can vamps brush their marble hard hair if it is marble like and unchangable? I always imagine it as being clunky which is not sexy at all. UC & Moon, please ask SM, if not in the official interview lure her out for some unMormon-like cougaritas. I am so prejudice, I don’t even know if Mormons like cougaritas or not. Or should that be cougaritas with a capital ‘C’? I am so unknowledgable.

  • j9necessary

    Whateva’…. to each his own….don’t care one way or the other….media has the problem…not most of the rest of the world….well, then again there are some bat s*#t crazy people in the world who think that their religion is the only true religion!

    Cute pix of you though….your shorts look more like daisy dukes!

  • Carrie Jo

    UC, I was raised (and still am–by choice) a devout, conservative Christian. I think your Avalon/DC Talk/Kellan-in-youth-group joke are hilarious (and am sad the majority of your readers probably don’t get it!) I have to say that the pop-culture rip-off T-shirts are one of the many things that make me wonder how anyone could ever take me seriously when I tell them about my religious beliefs. (So, no, don’t want to buy your t-shirt! 🙂 )

    I have to admit that after reading Twilight and before diving into the rest of the books, I went internet trawling to find out Stephenie’s religious beliefs, b/c I was fairly sure she had some. It seemed very clear to me that she believed something–but I didn’t think she was trying to convert anyone by writing the Twilight series. I just assumed her worldview was leaking into her writing a bit.

    I was glad that there was the message of abstinence in the books–I read them while I wad teaching middle school English and had some serious talks with my 13-yr-old female students about it. While I lost my virginity on my wedding night (I know, *gasp* right?), I realize that it not normal for our culture. It’s nice to have something popular out there that portrays that as a realistic option w/out being pedantic, prudish, or unappealing.

    So all my novel-length reply to say, I think while the media makes a much bigger deal about SM’s Mormon beliefs than she does (at least in connection to her writing), I do believe that some of her background makes its way into the story. How could it not when it’s helped shape her life?

    As far as the Christian Twilight-haters, most of them should actually READ the books before bashing them so that they actually sound educated when explaining their issues with them (although since this is fantasy, I really wonder what problems they could have other than disagreeing Edward/Carlisle’s ideas of earning a spot in heaven). As a former-youth-grouper-turned-SAHM, I love them.

    • Michelle

      Love love love your comment. I, too die laughing at the DC Talk/Avalon references…but maybe it’s even funnier cause I still listen to KLOVE. LOL. I’m a Sunday School teacher, former youth worker, former church secretary and I’m at church every Sunday. My relationship with God shapes who I am…

      That being said…Twilight is a getaway. It’s FUN. I read it to see what the big deal was…I was SO pleasantly surprised to see the “morals” along the way and was truly confused when the Bible thumpers (don’t get me wrong, I’m a Bible believin’ girl!) say Twilight = Devil. So many wonderful things/messages in the story…I’m at a loss as to why all the “hate”.

      As for the t-shirts…holy mackerel. TACKY. But, I’ve thought they were tacky since the 80’s with the red t-shirt with Jesus Christ written like Coca-Cola. Sigh. Yeah, I love Him…but SO not wearing a t-shirt that at first glance says my fave drink. So weird.

      • superhumanmoron

        Confession: there is a LARGE group of Twilight fans at my semi-conservative church. I think those that equate Twi with evil are in the very loud minority.

      • HeartForMichaelNeckForEdward

        I work at a Christian school and another staff member found out that I was reading Twilight and said that the Devil is using Twilight to “Take the backdoor in my life”. I wanted to hurt her.
        Imagine what should would say if she knew I have read the entire series about 8 times! I even have some twilight quotes on post-its around my room (without proper citation).
        I find the books to be extremely moral, but not exactly religious.
        I agree that people should read the books before complaining.

      • snowwhitedrifted

        Okay, What’s “Avalon”?

        This bad Catholic only knows of it as:
        •The Mists of Avalon novel
        •The city on Catalina Island
        •and that Bryan Ferry song.

    • Sonata

      I totally could’ve written this. I too am a Conservative Christian who loves Twilight and loves LTT.

      Only…I saw the shirt when it first came out and had a long internal debate over whether it was ‘totally cool’ or ‘totally lame.’ I settled with “totally lame.”

      One thing I have a problem with is Christian pop-culture taking ‘good’ secular things and making them ‘better’ by putting a Christian spin on them. For example, I saw a video in my local Christian bookstore for “Sunday School Musical”–it was like High School Musical, but for Christians. I was like, “How stupid!!! How much more innocent can you get than HSM?”

      It’s no wonder non-Christians hate us sometimes…

      …we’re not all bad, I promise.–it’s just that people like Donna Z give us a bad rap somtimes.

      Oh, and I have a love/hate with the barely-mentioned website. I hate some of the conclusions they draw, but find their information valuable, especially with young ‘ens. I just wish they’d deliver the facts without commenting on them. Buttcrack Santa FTW!

      …off to go eat some flesh.

    • Luludee

      Awesome response Carrie Jo!!!

      I was also raised as and still am a “conservative” Christian.

      I think it’s awesome that this subject was brought up at all (thanks UC!!)

      I’ve sort of recently encountered some stigma between church and Twilight. My best friends who are heavily involved in the church are the one’s that got me into Twilight in the first place. One of them has since sort of “gotten over the whole” thing herself too, but she does not and would never insist that other people follow her example. It was just a personal decision, because she felt she was getting too “obsessed” with the series.
      I hasten to say that I have yet to hear the series slammed from the pulpit.

      I think I knew SM was Mormon before I read the books, and it wasn’t hard to figure out. I like that she included her moral worldview in the books, and I don’t think that it is a vehicle for prosthelatizing at all.

      I think perhaps her religion is continually mentioned because of the morality of the books. I would have expected that an abstinence theme would be a huge shock to non-religious people reading the books, so it’s almost like the media needs to justify it’s presence by mentioning the Mormonism. Whatev’s, no big deal.
      Does SM care that she’s always referred to as a Mormon? I wouldn’t think so.

  • You are maker of each moment…Father of my hope & freedom…oh my Twilight…

    (Yes, I rewrote Avalon. Love me. And love the departed Jody McGayer.)

    I love you, UC. I also loove Moon. And hedges. And that one vampire who was probably in Young Life.

  • Twilight Jewish

    • yellow911t

      Hell yes!

    • obird

      Um, THIS IS GENIUS!!!! bwahahaha! 🙂

    • Brooke Lockart

      This is so win!!!! Yay Jews!

    • I am sure I will love this when I can see it at home. Work blocks all the funny.

    • I wish I could take credit, but all I did was “google it”.

    • TeamSeth


      • Bandmum



        TeamSeth, you win the freaking internet for this!

        • TeamSeth

          Freaking? Uh oh, does that mean just the porn site and FFs?

  • Michelle

    I love this post, UC. I totally “get” it. Thanks for keepin’ it REAL. And Tweed.


    H-h-heaven, I’m h-h-h heaven-h H-heaven BOUUUNNND!

    (For those who are clueless, that’s old school DCTalk, baby!)

  • Alice_NaA

    If Edward would have killed himself, he would actually have been burned to pieces and be gone forever. Bella would have been eaten by by all sorts of nasty bugs in her grave. I’m thinking earwigs. So the mentioning of heaven and souls is basically the only religious thing I could find in twilight, and even those concepts were still being “critically”discussed. Also Edward was very much pro abortion. So I don’t think SM’s writing isn’t a Mormon propaganda at all.

    • you are SO right!

    • Truth! Why haven’t we heard the pro-life movement make a stir over Breaking Dawn?

      • TeamSeth

        Fur realz!

    • Stacey

      You are so right! I forgot about Edward saying that! If the Breaking Dawn movie puts in that part, I am sure the Pro Life faction will be using that in their literature. They probably haven’t yet, because they won’t actually read any of the books. I’m sure it will be pro Bella deciding to have the kid, instead of the freakiness of the lil bugger clawing it’s way out.

      • Carrie Jo

        I have to say (as a member of the pro-life movement) that most of us are not opposed to an abortion in a life-or-death situation. There’s a HUGE difference between using abortion as birth control and choosing to save the life of the dying woman carrying the baby.

        • Stacey

          I think that in a way Breaking Dawn is a pro-life book and something positive for the movement. That Bella had faith that not only that she would survive, but the baby wasn’t going to be a monster. Ultimately, not listening to Edward and having Rosalie help her. I just find the actual birth scene frightening, and this after having two babies. :0)

  • eatmyjorts

    I love today’s post, just as I love the cracks you make at Kellan & that I get 99% of the jokes you make that come out of an evangelical Christian background. It helps me feel like I fit (a bit) even though I am old & British, & the last person who ever expected to become a Christian, though I did. I still feel weirded out by a LOT of Christian culture…but would never want to confuse that with anything essential in the faith.

    I think whatever worldview you hold (a term I much prefer to religion, as it levels the playing field, we all have a view on life…which informs how we live) will impact on pretty much whatever you do, but in different ways, so signs of it will show up, here for example in SM’s novels. I found her stance on sexuality unusual, & wasn’t surprised to hear she was a Mormon…Expecting men to show a bit of self control is an unusual theme, as is being obviously enthusiastic about sex & open about women (& young women) having strong sexual desires, & yet ‘conservative’ about where these desires are fully expressed. There’s a whole load in there too about commitment, & the fact that Bella could think about having children (seeing her life with Jacob flash before her, without someone stamping down on that as a ‘low’ goal for her to have). All themes I can say ‘yay’ to as a Christian.

    But I do have the massive advantage of going to a ‘thinking ‘church that grew out of the work of L’Abri Fellowship (google it), & is full of artists, writers, teachers & varying eccentrics…where the theology is orthodox but the culture very creative.

    My favourite lame Christian T-shirt was bought for me by my atheistic little bro’ (I’d never buy these myself, but he thinks they’re/he’s funny) just had lots of pictures of cheese, with the words ‘I have a friend in cheeses’….

    • DJTanner&TheFullHouse

      This is one of the reasons I love you! Also, the cheeses shirt is cracking me up…may need to borrow that…

    • Heidi’sMom

      As a Christian living in Wisconsin — I love this!

  • lovefromlouisiana

    First, thanks for sharing and making me feel that my love for Twilight is normal. I feel like I’m one of cool kids because I LOVE and totally get the jokes.
    Second, I am a spirit filled Christian and when my passion for Twi-things began, I wondered if I was back-sliding… Without sounding too super spiritual, I prayed about it and got a peace (At a Beth Moore conference in New Orleans no less) about it.
    Twilight is entertainment. God does not forbid Twilight. It’s what you do with it. You have to make sure that you keep Him first.
    That said, keep up the good work! I can’t wait to hear how it goes with Stephenie next week!

    • HmScTwiMomX2

      A BETH MORE CONFERENCE!! IT they knew what you just said you would be in BIG trouble…LOL

      • HmScTwiMomX2


        • lovefromlouisiana

          you are probably right! I somehow can’t see Beth being the Twi-affectionado.
          However, my mom is a hard-core Southern Baptist (with Full Gospel tendencies) and she came to watch Vampire Baseball with me and keeps asking when “that new twilight movie” is going to be here.

  • obird

    I mean really. Most religious groups are gonna complain about EVERYTHING…if it’s not this it’s that. sheesh. You would think most groups would be thrilled to death at a phenomenon that plays abstinence in such a positive light. I leave you with this:

    The Cullen Creed:

    For as long as I shall live
    I will testify to love
    I’ll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
    With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
    For as long as I shall live
    I will testify to love

    ps. Just kidding it’s Avalon….see CCM jokes are ALWAYS funny.

    pss. that shirt is what nightmares are made of. 🙂

    • Candy

      Holy crow – Now I’m gonna have to go google Avalon!

      • best.comment.EVER.on.LTT

        • obird

          hahaha! I knew you would like that. As a pk I listened to so much of Avalon and the like growing up….so funny….then in secret I listened to Vanilla Ice on my “tapes” that I taped off the radio. 🙂

          • DJTanner&TheFullHouse

            Fellow PK here! My secret tapes consisted of Hole, Smashing Pumpkins and Salt n Peppa….

          • TeamSeth

            Salt n Peppa! 😀

      • best.comment.EVER.on.LTT

      • Candy

        Actually, it didn’t help. It’s a Toyota, a community in Florida, a restaurant, something to do with King Arthur . . . ???? I guess I’ve been backsliding too long. No clue what Avalon is.

        • HeartForMichaelNeckForEdward

          They are a christian band. Try looking for them on Youtube or pandora. I used to think it was an all girl bad- but it turns out the boys just sound like girls. who knew.

          • Candy

            THANK YOU!! I felt so out of the loop!

        • TeamSeth

          Avalon community in Florida! I used to live near it!!!

  • TeamJacobEdward

    So because Stephenie is a Mormon, it means that she shouldn’t be allowed to have an imagination and write about what she wants? Yeah because THAT makes sense.

    I can’t believe those are actual emails. Okay, I can totally believe it, but you know what I mean.

  • *groan* i HATE when religion is brought into EVERYTHING. Can’t we all just enjoy something without it being controversial?

  • eatmyjorts

    By the way ‘Lights, camera, NO Action’ is genuinely funny. Finally!

    • Luludee


      I went to that Conference and I *think* I still have that t-shirt burried in a drawer.

      It was in Hollywood in ’05, hence the “lights, camera” etc.

    • allryans

      I was a youth worker on a retreat a few years ago, and the theme was (and t-shirts read) “Don’t Date Naked: Wear True Protection.”

      Yes, it meant to protect yourself by determining in your heart ahead of time not to defile yourself. But several of the parents didn’t want their kids wearing the t-shirts.

  • snmlamb

    “Buttcrack-Santa NEGATIVE? Not-uh. You did NOT go there. That’s enough to make me renounce my faith RIGHT there.”

    How is Buttcrack-Santa a bad thing? Or something to be warned about? I’ve been to church…was raised going to private school, and I’ve seen buttcrack at church when it’s time to let down the kneelers and pray. So don’t you go telling me that’s bad, cause I’ll have to call out some deacons, and a few old ladies.

    FYI – I love that I get all the inside Christian/church jokes, it makes me feel normal and that the years of repressive teaching I endured were worth something.

  • MrsKowski

    Wow! That video had me in stitches!!!

  • Sj

    Hang on, you mean there are christians other than Catholics? WTF? And sure everyone SAYS they wait ’til their wedding night before they give it up cause that’s all part of the game yeah? I don’t know what these crazy Mormons are all about but they sure can write.

    • Sj

      *sigh* ok, maybe I’m just over eager to act on overwhelming biological forces, but shizzzz, damn, some guys are just hawt.

  • HmScTwiMomX2

    “here’s a site I go to when I feel like getting mad at the super conservative elements of my upbringing that I won’t dignify with a link because it doesn’t deserve it, but in their review of Twilight they pointed out the negative elements ……” I know what site you are talking about!!!!! I was so mad at the New Moon review on there I felt like they REALLY misrepresented the movie (lied). I was brought up very conservative and I understand you completely!!! Did you hear the radio show they did the other week? It sent the “Christian community” in a frenzy over the “Demonic Twilight”. I am not saying everyone should be a Twilight freak (OK…maybe they should) but most of the people that are freaking out over Twilight also themselves like Star Wars and Lord of The Rings. You don’t hear them “raising Cain” over that do you? It is all about perspective and convictions. UGH! I agree with you in the fact that sometimes my fellow brothers and sisters get on my nerves!

  • Bea

    Sure, you can find Mormanism in Twilight if you look for it. Same as there were “Christ Figures” in every book we read for English Lit at my Christian high school… except A Doll’s House. That was just my teacher going through a nasty divorce.
    UC, today’s comments are begging for you to create an alternate soundtrack for Twilight made up of classic CCM. In addition to obird’s Avalon reference the following came to my mind while I fed the baby this morning:
    Amy Grant “Every Heartbeat” for all the times Bella’s heart skips a beat or speeds up. Wait, this would be most of Twilight and Eclipse… we could throw in Eric Champion’s hysterical cover too (go find this, it makes me laugh hysterically every time!).
    Geoff Moore and the Distance “If You Could See What I See” for Edward explaining to Bella that she’s hotter than Rosalie and Tanya put together.
    Steven Curtis Chapman “I Will Be Here” for Edward promising never to leave Bella again.
    Third Day “Consuming Fire” for Bella’s transformation.
    And of course, UC, your DC Talk piece… that goes Bella’s attempted seduction, right?
    Who else has ideas?

    • Michelle

      I love you.
      That is all.

    • Bea

      Afternoon feeding results in Mercy Me’s “Spoken For” as Bella explains to Jacob that he can’t make her happy.
      My brain really needs to do something else now. But “Every Heartbeat” is stuck in my head! “… My red blood runs true blue/ and every heartbeat belongs to you.” That so would have been Edward and Bella’s song if they were 15 years older.

    • omg.. best idea EVER!

  • Owning It

    Edward and Bella — “THEY’RE… NOT…. MORMONS!!!!!!”

  • shleeeigh

    If God hates Twilight he must REALLY hate True Blood!

    • it even says so in the show’s intro: ‘God Hates Fangs’. bahahaha

      • Well in the words of Lafayette:
        “Now Jesus and I agree to see other people that doesn’t mean we don’t still talk from time to time.”

  • RWats

    OK, this is so funny because I was just having this conversation with my GRANDMOTHER.

    So, I’m a Christian (and I think your Avalon references are freaking hilarious). I’m also 23 years old and know the difference between real and make believe, so I don’t have a problem with reading (and loving) the books.

    My husband and I are youth pastors, and I can see where there is concern when 13 year old girls are reading Twilight and then decide they’re going to read every vampire book on the planet. Also when they start dating boys with completely unreal expectations because Edward is perfect. I constantly tell people that there is hardly anything remotely questionable in the books when you’re past the age of 15 or so.

    AND… Really, if you’re truly thinking from a Born-again Christian viewpoint, Bella never had “eternal salvation” as the e-mail says. She says her life was devoid of belief. So… it wasn’t like she was going to Heaven anyway.

    And BTW, my sister (who is 13) has the “The Light” t-shirt. And she loves it, because she can’t have a real Twilight shirt…

    Oh, and I’m still looking for the strand of mormonism. My grandma says it’s because the Cullens try to “earn salvation by good works”… by like, not eating humans. Maybe that’s what people mean?

    • HmScTwiMomX2

      honestly…I was raised “Pentecostal” and they have a lot of earning your way too….

      • Michelle

        Woot Woot! Pentecostals in the houuuuuusseeeee.

        LOL. Sorry, was raised Pentencostal, too. Not the “not cut your hair, only wear skirts and no makeup” kind…but the tongue talkin’ kind nonetheless. 🙂

        So WEIRD to talk to another Pentecostal on a Twi-site. LMBO…

        • EC

          Here’s a third one *laughs* For the most part people at church just laugh at me about my love for all things twilight, but there’s this one lady who every time I mention it tells me I’m “letting compromise in” and not setting a good example for the kids I teach. The last time she did that I just asked her how her 16 year old son’s new baby is doing. That seemed to shut her up.

        • HmScTwiMomX2

          OMG!!! I know!!
          A fellow isle runner!!!! LOL!!

          I am obsessed you have NO idea! Yea…Christians like Twilight to and even think Edward is HOT!

          You sound like me totally. We are non-denominational now.

      • RWats

        Oh totally, for real. My grandma (who is freaking 75 years old) read an article about it in a Christian magazine. I just had never really felt the whole Mormon vibe in it, and apparently there’s a whole bunch of people that do… I think it’s kind of ridiculous personally. It was an awkward conversation with my grandma, lol

  • danae

    ok, so i’ve been in lurkdom for forever, but i knew i had to come out when i saw your tshirt! i saw it advertised in a christian bookstore ad at my parent’s house about a year ago and thought it was the most ridiculous, yet hilarious thing ever. then about a month ago i was at church on a sunday morning, and what did i see? that’s right, a GROWN MAN wearing his ‘jesus is thelight’ shirt! (a unicorn, perhaps?) i nearly DIED while trying to contain my laughter and excitement! i’m so glad you own that shirt. every good twilight-loving christian should 😉

    anyway, just wanted to say i love your blogs, and i especially enjoy the christian humor & lingo you throw in 🙂 also, am i remembering correctly that one of you mentioned you went to a christian college in indiana for a little- taylor univ or indiana wesleyan maybe? i grew up kinda close to there and i’m so sorry you had to endure that…lol

    • NO. SAY THAT’S NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A man was NOT wearing that shirt…!!!!

      I have no recollection of confessing to my time in Indiana, but yes, Taylor:) Ivanhoes FTW!

      • Carrie Jo

        Oh good gracious, I went to Taylor and LOVE Ivanhoes! I’ll email you b/c I must know when you were there and if we’ve met!

    • HI ya! Greetings. Love your comment.

    • Luludee

      My guess is that he had no clue of it’s pop cultural reference and just bought it because he liked how it looked/what it said.

  • As a Christian Twilight fan I must say this made me laugh so hard. But I worked at a Christian bookstore and was told I was going to hell once because I read/sold the wrong version of the Bible and once because I didn’t have any coffee for customers. On the bright side, the fanatics prove God has a sense of humor. (:

    • superhumanmoron

      KJV is the only path to salvation, of course. 😉

      • SarahG

        KJV FTW!!!! Although, I’m quite partial
        to The Message, so I’m definitely going to hell.

      • Verily I say unto you superhumanmoron, that he who diverteth his path towards the NIV shall findeth no peace. Amen.

        • superhumanmoron

          Thy word is truth.

    • TeamSeth

      Christian bookstores give out free coffee?! Imma need to investigate that… I only go in for Bible purchases or Veggie Tales stuff… oh, and back in middle school when the WWJD bracelets were all the rage and I wanted to fit in at Southern Baptist private school (middle school is hard enough, why make me be in that atmosphere, mom and dad?! Why!!!!)

  • Keisha

    You cannot mix my Twilight and Tim Tebow. I won’t allow it! 😉

  • “Dear Sirs”

    French media always mentions abstinence and S Meyers’ religion and life when talking Twilight, it’s probably THE two things they mention and I kinda get it because it’s just the opposite of our society’s strongest values concerning religion and women’s position. But France is probably the most attached country to laic values, to the point that Obama mentioning God was a huge discussion topic in the media.

    Also it’s the exact caricature the national media always shows about the US and that, I don’t get. You have to read more specific press about the awesomeness that is America, but you just have to turn on the TV to see a documentary about some weird abstinence ball and other religious feverish people.

    Personally all religious manifestations kinda freak me out for a million reasons, though I understand that somewhere there are noble values, like love or humility.

    • Got back here to check comments and realised how ridiculous is that part about values. And how that’s the nicest and most stupid thing I’ve ever said about it. Bahaha. I think I need some sleep.

  • JustGoWithIt

    It is funny that since Twilight includes some obvious religious references as well as undertones, it gets a response from religious folks to be a properly religious story. What fun would that be? (really!)
    I am generally a bit put off by Christianity, but do not mind it’s presence in Twilight. So Edward and Bella hold general Christian beliefs? Part of the story. Creates great tension through 3 books during which Edward won’t turn her into a vamp or bang her.

  • Colleen

    I don’t practice religion, nor do I ever plan to. It’s a personal choice, and I don’t wish to have people try to make me come to the light. Subject is closed.

    Now, I notice certain religious connotations along each of the books. Bella is more the modern kid, ready to jump into bed; while Edward is old-fashioned, and wants to wait for marriage (can’t blame him, he was born in 1901). But I think sometimes Stephenie’s writing is toned due to her religion. Once Edward and Bella are married, she only hints at the marital bliss that Edward and Bella experience post-Renesmee. It was one of the many aspects (and I mean many) of Breaking Dawn I couldn’t get past.

    Okay, comment done.

    • YeahIguessIam

      De-lurking to agree with you about Breaking Dawn. What a HUGE disappointment it was to have Edward & Bella’s post-wedding sex life (both pre and post Renesmee) be almost totally, completely glossed over. Not sure she wrote it that way b/c of her religious beliefs, though. I think it may have had more to do with the books being marketed towards a young audience. Either way, a total disappointment.

      • TeamSeth

        Off topic to say, I LOVE your handle name!

        • YeahIguessIam


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