The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump!

The following commentaries are from the twilight guide, the comments on the images, are mine:

Site introduction:

It’s no secret that I think Twilight is a travesty to not only traditional vampire lore, but also to Mormon soft core fantasy porn writers everywhere. Thankfully, the internet has my back on this one.

Per Google, Edward Cullen is:


My favorite is when you search for "Kristen Stewart is." Try it!

Forks, WA T-shirt:


The new 90210

I’m going to pretend that the blood drop is actually a very painful tear, a point of view you’ll understand if you’ve ever had the mind-numbing misfortune of setting foot into Forks, WA.

theocI like how most of them are wearing coats. You know, because vampires need to keep warm and all.

I don’t get it…

I don't get it either...

I don't get it either...

but I already love it way more.

Normal Fangirls

normalGiven their age, I’d say that the story of a douchey heartthrob vampire counts as a healthy obsession.

Not-so-Normal Fangirls


They're late? Don't tell the writer about Pattinson-pants

These ladies, on the other hand, are about a decade too late.

Per Google Twilight fans are:


I promise I’m nothing like any of those crazy fans. Don’t judge me because I once made a video with two action-figure Edwards laying together in the grass and sang Bella’s Lullaby or that I created that Forks, WA t-shirt*

Proud to be a normal fan,
and also really proud I’ve never outted myself with my real name

So after the realization of “oh Sh*t, this is what normal people think of Twilight and all her fans” passes, have a Monday laugh and go visit The Twilight guidespot to see what else they posted and make their day with 104 visitors instead of the usual 4**

Talk about normality on The Forum
then read a letter written to Rob Pattinson by my normal friend Moon on LTR

**This could be the most popular site on the internet and have billions of hits daily. I have no idea. I’m a Twilight fan. All I read is The Twilight Lexicon, the Robsten lovers blogspot and Esme & Carlisle fanfic. Don’t judge.

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