This is how you found us? Vol. 4

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT/LTR’ers and googlers-

My how time flies! It’s already June and we missed one of our favorite reoccuring posts: “This is how you found us?!” in May. For those of us just joining in on the fun, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And May did NOT dissappoint, seriously these are some of the best we’ve seen. So without further adieu… This Is How You Found Us??!!

Where robert pattinson hangs out – You want to know my address? Or the 24hr taco joint down the street from his hotel?

Twlight edward eyes pillow caseIt’s creepy trust me, but also totally awesome to scare your visiting co-blogger with when they wake up!

The Tuck Pattinson – is this Rob’s new nickname? Forget spunk ransom, it’s now officially Robert “The Tuck” Pattinson

Abstinence – Well, you’ve come to the right place… we’re totally saving ourselves for our wedding night with Robert Pattinson… and Jackson Rathbone… and Kellan Lutz… aaaannnddd… ok well maybe abstinence isn’t the term…

Buy Pattinsons wardrobe – this will cost you all of 4.75, to get his look all you need is whatever you wore in 9th grade and then access to either a Goodwill thrift store or movie Wardrobe dept. for a couple extra holey tshirts every 6 months. (This might be in my favorite top 5 things anyone’s every googled and found us! What else can you say about the genius of this?)

Robert Pattinson birthday gift from Kellan – I’m guessing either a personalized copy of The Purpose Driven Life signed by Rick Warren, or an ex-small purple wifebeater

Wig for new moonNOT THIS ONE! If this is your New Moon Hair Dept, we are NOT happy. FYI

What is robert pattinson doing for his birthday – Well besides us, maybe about 29 shots of Jameson, smoke a whole pack and then hide in his room from you freaks. – is this some kinky mile-high club shiz?? (check it at your own risk i have NO idea what that is)

funny lesbian birthday wishes – I’m not sure but maybe we can ask KStew and NReed for some ideas? Unless they’re not talking to each other now since that whole messy faux break up we’ve created in our minds happened.

Buttcrack school – Dude, Buttcrack Santa is teaching? Where do I sign up? Prof. Santa!

Follow the cut for more hilarious, scary and just plain weird googles! Trust me it just keeps getting better!

jasperbuffontthe new moon new hair look – you mean the groomed like a poodle look?

Your edward, i’m bella and he’s jacob black – I’m rubber you’re glue whatever I say bounces off me and sticks to you! This is fun! Or maybe this is more of a role playing thing? Just remember the safe word: “Cinnamon!”

“letters to rob sam bradley” – Keep dreaming Sam… keep dreaming! PS we had a blast at your show Friday night (review to come!)

jasper/bella nc 17 – You will not sully my Jasper in this way… unless it’s with Alice and if that’s the case send me the link, ifyouknowwhatimsayin’

Hate bellas hair in new moon – uh, does it look all that different than in Twilight? At least she doesn’t have Shirley Temple meets a poodle in a dark alley wig on! The glass is half full people!

cute italian baseball player 2009This guy?? Or do the Volturi play baseball, cause if it’s that Charlie Bewley guy I wanna see him do that Jasper bat thing!

I does ocd affect yur reading? – I have no idea but obviously it affects your typing

robert pattinson bulge – are we talking his pants or his mid section after he finished shooting New Moon?


Kristen Stewart rome joint – Seriously, KStew you lost your joint in Rome? Googling for it’s whereabouts won’t help. Trust me.

photos rob pattinson circa 1998 – you don’t want those. Turn around, do not collect 200 dollars do NOT pass go. – OMG you found our OTHER secret secret website!! SHHH!

robert pattison looked so unhappy – You would too if people insisted that you were with Kristen Stewart every day!

robert pattinson hangout in la – oh you mean my bed?

Edward in twilight moon is always shinin – is he sweaty, does he need some blotting papers?

Rob Pattinson favourite bars pubs – the ones that serve alcohol? I doubt he’s met a pub or a bad he didn’t like.

Clare Pattinson modeling – Britians next top mom-based modeling agency, coming to CW this fall!

how to be hotter – be Robert Pattinson

adam brody girlfriend – WHAT?! WHO?! Summer dumped his ass. US?!

t.a.t.u look like the girls from twilight – That’s what we thought too!! CLASSIC!

alice cullen feelings – Sad? Happy? Annoyed at Bella’s wardrobe of sweatpants? I don’t know, maybe you should ask Jasper!?

Kristen Stewart pregnant? – Oh god, I can barely handle the Robsten rumors, this would throw me over the edge. Besides the girl’s 18, she’s no Jamie Lynn Spears.

“mid-life crisis” and “twilight” – Isn’t this what we’re all having? Only we don’t go out and buy Harley motorcycles we can’t afford or pick up 20 yr olds at college bars. We read young adult fiction about vampires and follow the ever move of a 23 yr old dude on the internet. That’s normal people!

Keep em coming googlers and we’ll keep laughing!

PS Wanna read about Rob as a waiter at Club Med? Do it!
See what other people have googled to find us here!
Daily chitty chat in the forum!

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