Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards

Dear Twilight,

Another award ceremony is over huh? I’ll confess I didn’t watch it. But I plan to do no work and catch up on all the video clips I missed during the day today.

Don’t think I didn’t spend all Monday & Monday night breaking down people, outfits & gossip from the TCAs though. No no.. never doubt me.  Enjoy today’s Blurbs about the Teen Choice Awards from The Quad, Calliope & Brooke.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

The one with that girl we don’t recognize from Twilight

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EastFriend: I watched Mark Steines’ cute lil’ interivew with the Twilight cast after the TCAs ended, and could not, for the life of me, figure out why there was a little Asian lady tagging along with the Twi-crew.

• Did Ashley rescue her from a Taiwanese sweatshop and put her on Summit’s staff, thereby offering and encouraging a better lifestyle?
• Was sweet lil’ Asian lady really a dealer in disguise? Cause some serious doobie could be hidden in the folds of that scarf!

And then it hit me. It’s Justin Chong. Dude…when did he come out? And where was Neil Patrick Harris?

The one where Rob channeled Ward Cleaver

Leave it to Rob-ver

EastFriend: Rob looked cute.  The scruffy beard was good times.  But the outfit?   What’s with channeling Ward Cleaver at the TCAs?  Even Mike Brady had better style than that.
4 hours later she still can’t get over it
EastFriend: 50 bucks says that plaid shirt Rob wore last night was STINKY. Marcus’ sweat all over it. You know he didn’t wash it. Just picked it up off Marcus’ hotel room floor. Thank God Stephanie prob had the foresight to say, “Let me press that for you.” Maybe she sprayed Febreeze on the arm pits. One can only hope…

Read all about classical music, twilight scandals & real lesbians after the jump!

The one with Depussy

EastFriend: Someone made a video of the picture you got of Rob, Kristen & Marcus leaving Bobby’s show last week, Moon.
UC: We know. We’re so sad that it wasn’t set to Clair de Lune.
EastFriend: OH MY STARS!  I am dying laughing.  Is this in reference to the “Rob and Kristen leave the TCAs together” video?  Cause that was cinematic genius.  Those two…entering a vehicle…while their handlers enter, as well. Enter- That’s what she said– All to the strains of Debussy, which Rob pronounces funny in the movie. Good times.
WestFriend: When Rob says it, it sounds like this: “de-pussy”
EastFriend: Freudian slip maybe?
WestFriend: “Do you like…depussy?”eh…mine’s fine… i’m not complainin’.

The one where Ashley & Chace Crawford are kissing

EastFriend: CHACE AND ASHLEY.  KISSING.  Dude…this is awesome scoop!
WestFriend: that is a dream couple right there. Hotter than Zac and Vanessa..
UC: I think they’re old friends- I’ve seen pics of them together before.
Moon: heeellllooo nurse. they have been seen before in some old pics but not like this!! favorite line from the accompanying article:

“Wonder if they slept or if he kept her up asking a million questions about Robert Pattinson’s favourite colours.”

HAHHAHAHAA. Somewhere Jackson sits alone crying and writing an impromptu song about a gossip boy.
WestFriend: I like that she is wearing her sunglasses in the pics. As if we don’t know that’s her.
EastFriend: UC- girl…you were kidding, right? This is NOT the kiss of 2 friends. No way. He totally tapped that. No doubt.
WestFriend: that is not a friend kiss…look at Chace! He is trying to hold in a “Peter Bob boner”.
UC: NO NO.. I just mean I think they’re old friends. that kiss is totally cuz they did it… backstage at the TCAs…

Looking oh-so-innocent... or maybe not...

The one where Ashley’s day gets worse

UC: I just tweeted this:

I just sold naked pics of Moon & GayVamp volturi guy to Perez for $50 plus a bag of cheetos. A girl’s gotta eat.

and got this response from someone:

RU an idiot?!? doing something like that can RUIN their career! Ur an asshole!

to which I, of course, responded and asked if I should’ve asked for Baked Lays instead.
WestFriend: How could you even put Moon in that kind of danger! gosh.

The one where we’ve got issues with MANboy

Tay in technocolor

Calliope: FOOD FOR THOUGHT. Look at the above picture while listening to this song:

DOES IT NOT FIT? Am i RIGHT or am i RIGHT?
Brooke: I think he was trying to channel GQ Rob on top and Euro trash on the bottom, and I think he may have been wearing spanx, cause those pants were painted on.
Moon: He also looks like he took a dump in his pants. poor guy. PS: Where is Big Daddy in his matching outfit?
UC: I’d pay money to not have to see Big Daddy in pants that tight

The one where she may not be fake

"How long till my soul gets it right"

EastFriend: Kristen looks fierce. Best she’s looked all summer.
UC: Meh. I hate the dress. Plus watching some of those interviews, I’m sorry but….. she seems like a real lesbian.
Brooke: You mean dressed like she’d be at the front row of an Indigo Girls concert?
UC: Exactly. I’ve never thought that before. I usually love her all glammed up, but the nail dress just makes me think she wants to nail chicks.
Moon: I bet she clapped really loud when Ellen won the award for Best Twitter

The one where we say “Mazel Tov”

Brooke: So glad that Nikki came back in time for her bat mitzvah. I’m pretty sure I have pictures of my friends, at age 13, in a dress just like that. And I’m so glad that she takes her role as Rosalie so serious and that she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize the quality of the film since it was already a stretch having her as Rosalie…(cue pics of her TAN AS HELL from Greece)

The one with the best tweet ever

Moon did some tweeting during the TCAs. She said:

Somebody call 911 if this is what we call music these days…where’s the 100Monkeys? Impromptu song about surfboards. HIT IT GUYS!

to which someone responded:

oh are you saying the 100 Monkeys are better than J Bros?

here was Moon’s response….

@DeJaStar 100 monkeys vs the jobros? thats like a battle of who can suck less…

Blurbs are fun! What did YOU think about the TCAs?

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